How to do a proper lap dance
How to Give a Lap Dance
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don’t have to be an amazing dancer to give someone a lap dance. Seriously. Even if you have zero coordination and can't hold a beat to save your life, lap dances have little to do with "skill" and more to do with confidence. (It's like the saying look good, feel good, do good.)
In other words, there's no right or wrong way to give someone a lap dance, so long as both parties are enjoying themselves.
That said, there are a few things you should know before diving head first into it. And luckily for you, we've tapped experts Jaclinne Cheng, CEO and founder of Spicy Lingerie, and Rori Gordon, owner of gentleman’s club Billy Deans Showtime Café to drop all the tea.
Here's what to do when you literally don’t know what to do. Enjoy!
1.The average lap dance should last at least two songs.
This would equal a total of six or so minutes, but obviously adjust this to your own preferences and add time as you see fit, says Gordon. If two songs seems excruciatingly long to you, remember that it's not. You can watch 6-7ish TikTok vids in that same amount of time, don’t let your anxiety win this one.
2. Plan your song playlist ahead of time.
Just like you check your PowerPoint before giving a big presentation, make sure you have your music cued up and ready to go. Depending on what kind of vibe you're going for, picking from this playlist of sex songs may be ideal.
“A lap dance is supposed to be seductive, so choose songs that inspire your sexuality,” says Cheng. Her picks: “Climax” by Usher, “Girl With the One Eye” by Florence and The Machine, and “Naughty Girl” by Beyoncé.
3.Wear the right clothing.
You should put on anything that makes you feel extremely sexy, says Gordon. “I love lingerie, garters and thigh-high stockings with a long sheer gown,” she says. You can also pair your outfit with some slip-on heels since they accentuate the hell out of your body. Just make sure you walk around in the shoes beforehand to get used to them, suggests Gordon. No shoe is worth breaking an ankle over.
It's also important to layer your clothing, especially if you want the lap dance to lead to sex. This may involve stripping down as you give your partner a lap dance, which is like a super-sexy added bonus.4. Do a quick lil stretch before.
“It’s important to stretch before you perform to prepare yourself for any extraneous movements,” says Cheng. There's no greater buzzkill than bending over your partner and killing your back in the process.5. That said, please don't do anything your body can't handle.
If you can't do a somersault, it's probably not worth trying a backbend. Same goes for the splits. But if you are flexible, definitely show it off. Going for a backbend while sitting on your partner’s lap is definitely a crowd pleaser too, says Cheng.6. Set the mood with dimmed lights and candles.
But don't make it too dark to which your partner can't see you. You might also want to play into a role-play fantasy if it's something you and your partner have discussed beforehand. Dress up as a nurse, devil, teacher, whatever—just make sure your setting resembles the theme at least a little bit too.7. Make sure you have mastered some moves beforehand.
No need to plan a full-on dress rehearsal, but you should have an idea of what you want to do, how you want to touch yourself, how you want your partner to touch you, etc. before just going into it blindly. Here are some v common moves you can add to your routine:
- Stand between your partner's legs and lean your upper body forward with your back arched and your butt up in the air. This gives your partner a super-hot view of your body. Trust me.
- Turn around and hover your butt just above their crotch, moving your butt in circles like you're painting their lap with your cheeks. (Feel free to place your hands on their thighs or the arms of the chair for balance.)
- When in doubt, know your hottest seduction tool is your hips. So slowly start swaying your hips from side to side, and then move them in a figure eight to the beat of the music.
8. Choose your setting wisely.
This can be in a bed, on the couch, on a chair, or wherever you’re most comfortable. Just make sure that with whatever setting you choose, you can switch between standing above your partner, sitting, and squatting easily and whenever you want.9. Think less about dancing and more about connecting with your partner.
If you’re not a dancer, taking the pressure off of a lap dance can help. I don’t know any receiver who isn’t going to enjoy the view (the view being you, someone they’re already super into, stripping and undressing right before their eyes). I can promise you, the last thing they’re thinking about is how on-beat you are with the music.10. Have fun and be confident.
“If you’re not having a good time, your partner will be able to tell, and it won't be an enjoyable experience for both of you,” says Cheng. Let loose and don't be afraid to move to the music in whatever way you want to. There's nothing you can do here that would be wrong or incorrect. Remember, so long as everything is consensual, it's literally impossible to fuck up a lap dance.
How To Give A Lap Dance That Will Drive Your Man Crazy | Pleasure Mechanics
If you've ever fantasized about mesmerizing your man with a slow striptease before sex, rest assured you're not alone.
Wanting to tap into your inner diva and mastering the art of seduction to sexy music is totally natural (not to mention incredibly sexy).
Foreplay is not only just a fun part of initiating sex, but it can actually be an incredible time to bond you to your partner — and what better way than by turning your man on by learning how to give a lap dance with the sexiest movements your hips can offer?
Men enjoy lap dances — but there’s more to it than just watching as you gyrate and dance. It can also be an incredibly freeing moment for you as well, and make you feel sexy and confident before you even touch each other.
But lap dances can also seem a bit intimidating, and that’s okay!
Those of us who aren’t skilled in dancing or have never given a lap dance before might not know where to start. But once you’ve got a good place to begin, you can have an incredible amount of fun learning how to lap dance and showing off your best moves.
RELATED: 5 Tried-And-True Foreplay Tips To Tease And Tempt Him
If you want to get your man hot and bothered as a special occasion or even as a new form of foreplay before things really take off in the bedroom, then lap dances can be an intimately fun way to initiate sex.
We know a thing or two about how couples can improve their sex lives and become better lovers, and sharing something as passionate as a lap dance can certainly make for an interesting evening together.
Lap dances should last as long as you want them to, depending on your level of comfort, your playlist, and the overall mood. While the cost of a lap dance typically varies at certain venues, it's totally cool to give your boyfriend a lap dance. (And if you want to charge him, that's up to you.)
One of the most common questions you might have before you start is: “How can I give my man the best lap dance of his life without seeming like an amateur?” And if you’d like to know the answer to that, keep reading!
How to Give a Lap Dance Like a Total Pro
1. Treat the lap dance like it's a (sexy) special occasion.
Lap dancing isn't an everyday activity, but a seductive gift you can offer your man for special occasions.
These days, people automatically assume that erotic dance is only for strip clubs and music videos, but it's so much more than that.
Imagine your lover being completely spellbound by your every move, quivering with desire, ready to follow your every command. Learn to lap dance, and you'll gain tremendous erotic power and confidence.
2. Practice your lap dance moves.
Long before you give your man a lap dance, start dancing for your own pleasure. Find a few songs that you think are sexy and seductive and then practice dancing to them, enjoying the way the moves feel in your body.
Ditch the mirror and don't worry about what looks sexy. Focus on what feels sexy to you.
One of our golden rules is "get out of your head, get into your hips!" Women spend too much energy worrying about how they look, what their lover is thinking and if they are performing adequately enough.
Take all of that energy and focus on how you feel. Bring the focus of your attention down into your body and notice the sensations of pleasurable movement.
Start with your hips. Place your hands on your hips and sway your hips left and right. Notice how your whole body curves in response. Then thrust your hips forward and notice how your spine arches. All of these bends and curves are crazy sexy.
Have a little extra flesh? Use it to your advantage and accentuate your curves as you bend and sway with the music.
Firmly put your hands on the arms of the chair. Sway your hips from side to side.
Next, find a song that you love dancing to. You can choose a fast, booty-thumping song that makes you feel feisty and alive. Or you may prefer a sensual dance to a slow love song.
Find the songs that make you feel most alive, most erotically charged and most ready to seduce your lover. Then dance to the song over and over again until you are at ease, moving your hips and swaying to the rhythm.
You don't have to choreograph a whole routine, just find a few good moves that feel sexy to you. The more confidence you have, the more desire you will build in your audience of one!
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3. Get your space ready.
When you are ready to give your man a lap dance, take a few moments to prepare the space.
Clear the floor around your most comfortable chair. Imagine your man sitting in the chair, beaming at you with love and appreciation. Make sure you can walk all the way around the chair so you can dance in a 360-degree circle of seduction!
Dim the lights if you can or flood the room with candlelight. You may even want to buy colored light bulbs to create a new atmosphere. It doesn't take much to create the thrill of novelty!
Create an atmosphere that makes you feel sexy, seductive and in the mood to dance. As you prepare the space, start taking long deep breaths and get yourself in the zone.
4. Make sure your body and mind are in the zone.
What you wear for your lap-dancing performance is totally up to you.
You can go all out and dress up in your finest dress and high heels, go out on a date and give your lover a lap dance as dessert. Or you can hide gorgeous lingerie under casual clothes and surprise him on Sunday morning.
Make it your own. After all, a lap dance is an authentic expression of your sexuality!
You'll be getting very close and intimate with your lover, so take the time to take a long shower or bath and anoint yourself with a scent you love.
You'll feel more confident and relaxed if you take a few moments to tend to your body before you present yourself to your lover.
Set aside all worries about mundane life. Ditch your to-do lists. Mindfully step into the role of seductress.
Your only job for the next stretch of time is to feel so good in your body that you cast a spell, seducing your lover into your pleasure zone.
As much as you are giving a gift to your lover, you are also giving yourself the gift of a time to feel sexy, fully alive and sensually awake.5. Build up the anticipation — it will drive him wild!
Don't tell your man what he has in store for him, but hint that you have something special to offer him. Let him wonder what's coming next.
Start your lap dance in whatever style you prefer. You can put the music on and strut your stuff.
Or just turn away, look over your shoulder as the song begins, wink at him and start to move. Whatever you do, commit fully.
Trust us, he is not going to evaluate your dance moves. He'll get excited at the opportunity to take in all of your beauty and will love the confidence in your body.
Don't worry about getting every move right and just let yourself have fun with it. Your own pleasure is the secret sauce that will make your lap dance the most memorable of his life.
So own your power, move for your own pleasure, and know that you are giving him the profound gift of watching your gorgeous body dance!
6. Ladies, strip tease it out.
Start far away from him, and time your approach with the song so the last few moves are right on his lap.
As you gain confidence, you can even create a playlist for a multi-song seduction, starting slow and working up to serious grinding on his lap. But to start, pick one sexy song and know that you have three to five minutes to give it your all.
From far away, make eye contact with him and slowly start moving into your dance. Then peel away one item of clothing at a time — or leave it all on! You can even combine striptease and lap dancing, and he will love it, no matter how nervous you are.
If it makes you feel more confident, leave all your clothes on and leave the undressing for later. Or strip down just to your lingerie. This is your expression, so do what makes you feel best.
As you move, slowly approach him and then back away. Then move around behind him, lightly stroking his hair and shoulders. Let him feel your breasts and hair graze the nape of his neck.
Then circle back around. Your goal is to tease him as much as possible, making him ache to touch you.
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7. Keep it simple.
You don't have to go crazy with your lap dance!
Once you have built up anticipation, start dancing closer to him. When you feel ready, let the climax of the lap dance begin.
Turn so you are facing away from him and slowly let your hips sink closer and closer to his lap. Whether he gets fully erect or not, remember that an erection is not a full measure of his arousal. So don't worry about how hard he is.
Here are four simple moves for once you are dancing in his lap:
1. Start by swaying your hips left and right.
This simple move is surprisingly powerful. Add a little dip by bending your knees as you sway.
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2. Lower your hips so they are just barely above his pants and then move your body in circles in time with the music.
3. Try a pelvic tilt by thrusting your hips forward and back.
Give your hips an extra push as you move back to make your booty bounce in a delicious way!
4. The fourth move you can try is a simple bounce squat.
Position yourself squarely above his lap and then squat quickly up and down, bouncing on his lap without ever making full contact. This move is a huge tease and turn-on. Play with speed; start with slow squats and then bring up the tempo until you are bouncing in the air, just above him.
Glance over your shoulder once in a while and make eye contact. He'll want to both look in your eyes and at your beautiful body — the desire to do both will be a delightful form of erotic tease!
8. Remember to finish the lap dance strong.
When you are ready to finish off as the song comes to an end, turn around so you are facing him, straddling one or both of his legs. Then do the same four moves: sway, thrust, circle and bounce.
Facing your lover means that your breasts (covered or not, they will still be a treat) will be at about face level. Use this to your advantage, and as you move your hips around his lap pay attention to all the delicious ways you can tease him.
When the song comes to an end, you have two choices. You can settle right into his lap and then let the charge take you into making out (and whatever other intimate activities you have on your mind!).
Or, you can get up and strut right out of the room, leaving him out of breath and dazzled by your presence. Remember, you are in charge!
9. Give your sexy self a pat on the back.
Choosing to give your lover a lap dance is a very powerful step toward more sexual confidence, in and out of the bedroom.
When you can accept the fact that you are gorgeous and a worthy object of his attention, you start to forget to care about the little imperfections and instead focus on the incredible pleasure your body can feel.
Lap dancing is a gift for both of you. Your lover gets the joy and arousal of watching you dance, and you get all of the pleasure of feeling like a powerful seductress.
Remember, start the journey by setting aside time to dance in private and bring your awareness to how much pleasure you can feel just by moving to one of your favorite songs.
Once you feel great and are ready to seduce your lover with a lap dance, follow the steps in this guide and you'll create a potent pleasure spell that is sure to transport you both.
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The Pleasure Mechanics are a team of sex educators and touch experts dedicated to providing people around the world with the tools and strategies they need to experience maximum sexual pleasure. Their books and videos offer time-tested strategies based on human anatomy, psychology and an understanding of the social nature of human sexuality.
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Private dance for your beloved home: what you need
When you visit a nightclub, you see beautiful dancers, do they inspire you and do you want the same? A private dance for a loved one is not only an outfit and movements to the music. In a private show, everything is important - posture, flexibility, ability to play, seduction, mystery. A man will certainly be fascinated by the game if a woman thinks through the show in advance, chooses an outfit and appropriate music.
Having decided on the image it is important to think about an outfit that will match the idea. Accessories and things that will never be superfluous are stockings with a belt, a corset, garters, high platform shoes. In addition to aesthetic beauty, clothing should not constrain movement in dance.
Some recommendations when choosing an outfit for a private dance for husband:
- If choice fell on the image of a fatal seductive, then the outfit can be minimalistic. It may be a chic evening dress embroidered with various patterns of rhinestones. Dress can be with an open back and a deep neckline. For beginners, this image ideal if the girl does not yet know how to dance a private dance for her beloved, so that he liked.
- Coquette image means cute costume. You can wear a short skirt with a pleat or with checkered print. A shirt with unbuttoned buttons is ideal for a skirt or a revealing top.
- Lolita is a puppet image that conveys the infantilism of a person. To create a private show for a man in the image of Lolita, it is worth making bangs, tying pigtails with bows. From clothes it would be ideal to wear long socks, a schoolgirl skirt. The image of the Nymphet in dance, it should convey the energy of seductiveness and fun of a young dancer.
- Catwoman - it is desirable to dance professional plastic privat in such an image. After all the very image of a cat is a symbol of physical flexibility, beauty, grace.
Attributes and atmosphere of the house
Use in dance foreign objects and attributes, such as, for example, a scarf or a weightless a transparent shawl, men's tie, hat or even an ice cube. Can be tied your loved one's eyes and turn on special music for a private dance - this is necessary for creating intrigue in private dance for a man. To kindle a great desire and passion in a loved one, you can forbid him to touch his body parts for a while.
Men are not always freely and openly welcome such a seductive show joyfully with relaxed face. He may have a tense face and a stiff posture. A tense facial expression does not mean at all that dancing and seductive actions are discouraged or undesirable. Just a man can feel a little out of his depth and doesn't know how to show his reaction, especially if for him such a gift occurs for the first time.
Music selection and choreography
Lap dance for beginners is the secret of body movement known only to two. This is a small romantic performance that can be played even without choreographic skills.
Many women interested in how lap dance for her husband to produce a stunning impression. Of course, the musical component of the show should be sexual, and here is a fast or slow rhythm - it depends on the general concept of private "show". The song on average can last 4-5 minutes. Scheme how to dance a lap dance so that a man does not get bored:
- 40 -60 seconds - entry - a bright and alluring exit, luring the eye;
- 2-2.5 minutes dance;
- 1. 5-2 minutes - playful mood and seduction.
A lap dance for a loved one is one of the hot dishes served at nightfall. Such a seductive show will be a wonderful gift for your beloved man on Valentine's Day, and will also help restore the former passion in long-established married couples.
A private party in a club can be a good alternative to a private dance at home.
Striptease lesson: how to make a spicy gift - Relationships
Striptease as a gift is controversial. Someone will be delighted with such a present, and someone will be shocked. Experts told which men would appreciate a spicy gift, and also gave advice and basic lessons on how to prepare a private dance on your own and how to create an appropriate atmosphere for home striptease.
From Western films, we clearly understood - a striptease as a gift will please any man. Yes, and a woman, if we are talking about a private dance, performed by a man. Ladies even take strip dancing lessons themselves to surprise their beloved at home, and expect such a foreplay to be appreciated and received with gratitude. But in real life is not so clear cut.
It turns out that some people don't want to receive street music as a present, and it doesn't matter who will perform it. Especially if outsiders are present during the dance. Psychologists warn that a stripper is a gift to a man who experiences any kind of sexual complex. sphere, will only remind him of the problem. Therefore, it is important to consider who and in what situation to do such a gift.
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humiliated. It can cause shame, embarrassment if it happens in public, kill holiday mood. Therefore, a woman must find out in advance what will be reaction. If a couple can visit a strip club together and freely discuss such topics, then perhaps the gift will be received positively,” says the head of the psychotherapeutic department of the clinic "Insight" Igor Lyakh (Novosibirsk).
Giving a striptease to a boss, colleague or business partner — unacceptable, etiquette specialist Evgenia Skiba (Barnaul) is sure. "In business situations, most people behave with restraint. This is allowed in some creative company. Among people who are merry and jokers in life. They can recognize by behavior, manner brightly, look unusual. They do it themselves such gifts, and appreciate if they are congratulated by a stripper, ”explains expert. Housewives and sportswomen: who learns striptease
Professional dancer and owner of a striptease agency Alexei Zhorkin from his own experience confidently declares that most of the orders are just the same as gifts. Of these, a lot for the boss of any gender. Strippers and strippers are often invited to February 23, March 8, hen parties, stag parties, birthdays, and once, in his memory, they ordered for a wedding.
“There is a negative reaction. The husband begins to be shy, because he does not know how his wife will react if behave uninhibited with the artist. Therefore, we ask that they break through the soil in advance. Or we ask you to leave the room so that they do not embarrass you with your presence. It happens that the people themselves, to whom they give, are asked to stop the dance. This was at a bachelorette party with a very moral bride. In this case, the artist can continue the dance for the public. But more often the reaction is good,” says Zhorkin.
A good number of couples believe that the teasing dance able to increase the degree of passion and diversify routine family life. But also here experts advise to approach carefully, and take into account the many factors: from the situation, the occasion to the current state of the relationship. The last one is perhaps the most important.
“There are troubles in family relationships — routine, ritual, adaptation. When a married couple begins to limit fantasies about each other, then such an important part of sexuality as flirting disappears. Many industries exist for due to the fact that this flirting is provided, for example, by Internet dating. That's why many women at one time were so carried away by half-dance that in their relationship novelty, mystery appeared, things connected with fantasy appeared. Usually it strengthens the couple, ”Lyakh believes.
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flirting, then the reaction to the striptease of the wife or girl is likely to be positive, and she will achieve the desired effect. And if such an important component is no longer there, a woman runs the risk of causing discontent or other negative emotions that before this was restrained, the psychologist warns.
According to strip dance choreographer Marina Ignatenko, most often women apply for lessons when they find out that a man is looking "on the side" or go to strip bars. And then, having learned the strip, they draw attention to myself.
“A woman becomes more self-confident, her gait becomes more graceful. A woman begins to change from the inside, they begin to look at her differently, her man feels it, thinks what has changed in her and thinks about her, the choreographer says.
If you want to dance a striptease, she advises you to take at least a few lessons dancers to master the basic set of movements, and then act with an eye on their own opportunities and benefits. So, if a girl has flexibility, then be sure use twine and braces. And if a woman has long beautiful hair, then dance it out.
In general, the basic set of strip dance elements is simple - "kitty", backbends, stretching, half twine (twine for those who can afford it), half-bridge, touching yourself. Basically, almost anyone can do it.
But we must remember that home striptease is a small show, therefore, appropriate attire is important (you can buy a role-playing costume in a sex shop or just put on a beautiful set of underwear and stockings), manicure, pedicure, makeup, hairstyle.
Especially for Sibnet.ru readers, the choreographer told how to prepare for home striptease on her own, and showed the basic movements. We start with a warm-up and train plasticity.
According to Ignatenko, striptease is impossible without heels. Ideally, you need to stand on strips - shoes with a platform that professional women use. If there are no similar shoes and you don’t want to buy specially, you can do without a platform, but heels are required, and as high as possible.
At home, there is usually no stage or pole. But there are always walls and floors, the use of which will also help to hide the lack of physical fitness. A well-warmed body, practiced movements and personal imagination are the main components of a beautiful home dance.
The choreographer advises to rehearse several times even the simplest dance. And it's not just about memorizing movements. It should be seen that the dance is easy, and it is important that during the striptease the face does not look tense and concentrated. It should be, at a minimum, relaxed, and as a maximum, participate in the image.
As for home decor, a chair can be used in addition to the walls and floor. Ignatenko demonstrated how this piece of furniture can help to undress beautifully.