How to start dancing with a girl

How to Dance with a girl at a school dance « Dance Trends :: WonderHowTo

In this how-to video, you will learn how to dance with a girl at a school dance or club. This will be helpful for guys who are too self conscious to start dancing. It is important to just have fun. The main thing is to be confident so you do not feel embarrassed the entire night. Be prepared to get rejected. If you dance closer to a girl and she walks away or gives you an excuse if you ask her to dance, move away. Move around and find another girl. If she is with a group of friends, be careful. Bring a friend if you are dealing with these groups. If the girl is dancing with another girl, you can have your friend dance with the other girl. This will give you the opportunity to dance with the other girl. Make sure you are on beat when dancing. Focus on the girl and move with her. If she turns around and you are facing each other, do not get embarrassed. Instead, make the girl laugh. If she does, you are set. Most of the time, if you put your hand on her body, she most likely will slap you or reject you. If you feel confident, go for it. Also, be wary of girls with a date or boyfriend. Just be confident and not self conscious when dancing. Do not grind when Latin music is playing, as it looks tacky. Viewing this video will give you useful tips when trying to dance with a girl.

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Dancing with random girls at a club

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    Asked by halfg (182) December 13th, 2009

    Because I’m not well-versed at this sort of thing at all, what is the process here? Do I ask if they want to dance? Do I just go up to them and start dancing? Do I just keep dancing, and if I’m good than I’m supposed to wait for a girl to dance with me? Do I sort of “ease” into it, by dancing closer and closer to them until we are dance partners? I don’t have a fear of rejection, but I do have an IMMENSE fear of making people feel uncomfortable.

    Girls – What do you prefer for random shmoes to do in these situations? (maybe you’d rather random shmoes just not dance with you at all?)

    Guys – What is your “method” for this?

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    • dance
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    • relationships
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    19 Answers

    back in my younger days, did visit the clubs. .and Hafq, just walk over and say, “would you like to dance?” secret, don’t get discouraged if they say no…they could be feeling bad and lots of other things going on in their life that you are not aware of…so, don’t take it personal..

    Cotton101 (3439)“Great Answer” (2) Flag as…¶

    I prefer random shmoes to just leave me alone :)

    stormy (332)“Great Answer” (2) Flag as…¶

    I should not be answering this question. I am required, by court order, to never dance in public. In fact, if you ever see me dancing somewhere, please get me home. I am in a blackout.

    Blondesjon (33994)“Great Answer” (7) Flag as…¶

    I think you can take some of the pressure of them and yourself if you just get on the dancefloor and become one with the music. In a former life, I would just get on and dance by myself, and in most cases, a group of folks would just crowd around; if I felt compelled then I would catch the eye of someone else dancing and then move closer, and let it flow…

    There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re being hawked by someone, guy or girl. Just be into the music and you will appear less desperate. Always worked for me. Plus I think girls have this sixth sense about them when a guy is not comfortable with dancing, and there just to pick up on them. F- that noise!

    Here’s an old shot of me from back in the day for reference:

    sndfreQ (11739)“Great Answer” (4) Flag as…¶

    Personally, a guy who asks me to dance with him when im on the dancefloor is a total no no… dont do that, instead you see a girl you like, smile at her, if she smiles back keep on dancing but sloowly approach her with time, keep eye contact from time to time to check if she is still interested. Then as you approach her dont get really close to her, just dance with her, ask her her name, or where shes from, or tell her she looks really cute or anything… that way you sort of anounce that your dancing partners and then enjoy !
    Another point, rejection in clubs is never seen, everyone is too busy getting drunk, being drunk or dancing… so chill !

    Roory (473)“Great Answer” (6) Flag as…¶

    Blondesjon loll. .

    Cotton101 (3439)“Great Answer” (1) Flag as…¶

    I don’t know.. I always found dance clubs kinda lame. Music too loud for conversation… too crowded… fights breaking out over uber-retardedry… To be perfectly honest, I’m not even really attracted to the club-type girl.. I prefer the pensive, coffee shop type girl.. XD (Not that it matters.. I’ve already got my coffee shop girl.. lol)

    But as far as this question… I can only offer two angles:

    1. Be having so much fun that they want to dance with you .. don’t be so worried about what they think.. just have fun.. if they can’t deal with that than you don’t want to be with them anyway

    2. Just ask them as @Cotton101 said. At this point they know next to nothing about you so their answer will likely be based on if they think you are “hot” or not… That’s why I prefer approach one.. Personality trumps looks every time for me.. I assume it’s the same for women. .to an extent.

    NaturalMineralWater (11300)“Great Answer” (4) Flag as…¶

    All you have to do is go up to a girl you want to dance with and either:
    1)Ask her if she wants to dance with you if she’s not already dancing.
    2)Just begin dancing with her if she’s already out on the dance floor.

    Oxymoron (1239)“Great Answer” (1) Flag as…¶

    Okay. I used to go to frats fairly often throughout the semester so I know how this shit goes down.
    Guys do all of the following:
    A) Make lame attempts to talk to/flirt with a girl he finds attractive when they’re outside the dance floor, i.e. at the bar, on the outer fringes, etc, then ask her to dance.
    B) If it’s a crowded dance party, he’ll just grind up on some booty he thinks looks decent, and hope she grinds back.
    C) The guys will dance really close to the girls, waiting for them to make the transition. The girls will either comply, or move away as a flock.

    There are many interesting variations of A. For example, a couple weeks ago, a guy came up to me and said “You see, my friend here has NEVER danced with a girl before. Would you dance with him?” He also tried “Has never kissed a girl before.” One guy, apparently frustrated with the lack of single girls around, straight out asked me “Do YOU have a boyfriend?” I said yes, and he throws out his arms and goes “WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE?” Frat boys will go to pretty outrageous extents.

    le_inferno (6194)“Great Answer” (3) Flag as…¶

    Leave that to the smooth operators. Arrange things beforehand so that you are accompanied to the club by a not-so-random female who wants to dance with you.

    hiphiphopflipflapflop (6100)“Great Answer” (1) Flag as…¶

    HAHAHAHAHA JESS I feel yah gurl.
    Personally, I prefer if a guy firsts makes eye contact with me, then asks me to dance. Sometimes if I’m not drunk enough, it’s weird if a guy just comes up and starts grinding with me. Additionally, there have been many a frat dance party where guys stand awkwardly on the fringe and “scope” the dance floor out, which makes girls rather uncomfortable. Just ask permission first, you should be fine :)

    smack (1217)“Great Answer” (2) Flag as…¶

    Well I enjoy dancing and if a guy came over and he was good at dancing I woulnd’t mind so much, if he was a jerk who was drunk I would move away from him!
    Be confident in yourself and make eye contact with the girl, ideally, before you get to the dance floor, if possible speak say hello or even chat.
    You may ask her to dance, however don’t just barge your way in and dance in her face, that is VERY annoying!!

    Dabria (450)“Great Answer” (2) Flag as…¶

    Well I hit the clubs pretty often so I’m an expert. Girls like to see guys that are confident so if you see a girl dancing by herself then just start dancing next to her. If you see her looking at you then just start dancing with her. When a girl is dancing with her friends, leave her alone! Don’t ask to dance cause that’s just weird, everybodys at the club to dance so just dance!

    Justnice (923)“Great Answer” (1) Flag as…¶

    Whatever you do, don’t imitate Night at the Roxbury! LOL!!!

    Shemarq (1494)“Great Answer” (3) Flag as…¶

    just go up to them and start moving your best groove, they will either dance along or walk away, hopefully if you are good enough they will dance along, if not they aren’tworth it move onwards and upwards!

    sakura (8267)“Great Answer” (1) Flag as…¶

    Walk up to the girl and say “would you like to dance”?

    JessicaisinLove (1451)“Great Answer” (2) Flag as…¶

    Disclaimer – my experience is from the way back days: When I was a volunteer at the USO, the girls just sat there until a guy walked over and said “Care to dance?” That’s all there was. Of course, we were expected to always say yes, so I don’t know in the civilian dance club if this is the same.

    YARNLADY (45996)“Great Answer” (1) Flag as…¶

    Try making eye contact – If she smiles – ASK HER TO DANCE! seriously….

    LethalCupcake (655)“Great Answer” (0) Flag as…¶

    I honestly don’t see jumping around in a club, waving my hands in any possible motion while trying to look cool – also known as dancing – while listening to loud and crappy music to be a good time. Or even a semi-good time.

    But, people are different. As many before stated, I suggest making some kind of eye contact, etc. and if she ‘replies’, then ask her to dance. If it works, yaay, if it doesn’t try it on the next girl, or just change your strategy.

    Written (825)“Great Answer” (0) Flag as…¶

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    90,000 12 life hacks, to quickly learn how to dance from Mamita Dance


    Author: Pavel Gather
    Psychologist, Lecturer Salsa and Tango


    Author: Pavel Pavel
    Psychologist, Lecturer Salsa

    on At the start, you always want to get a quick result. When it doesn't happen, the hypothesis arises that everything takes time. After a conditionally acceptable time, humility comes to mastering pair dances, which, perhaps, is not given, and I will just do what I learned somehow.

    This is the most common story of those who believe that the mere act of attending a pair dance class is enough to learn how to dance.
    Absolutely not. If you want to really dance well, you have to make an effort outside of the dance class. A good teacher will definitely be needed, but the initiative should be on your side.

    1. Listen to music

    The most common and accessible advice that is given already in the first lessons. And it definitely works. Music creates a certain atmosphere of the dance and intuitively you want to move to it. It doesn't matter where you listen to music - in the car, on headphones while walking or doing household chores.

    An addition that will help you dance better is your active participation in the music. Sing along, dance or simply beat musical accents with any free parts of the body. In the subway, for example, it is enough to tap out bright moments with your fingers, in the car to sing along with sounds, and at home you can jump for pleasure.

    2. Watch videos of good dancers

    It's complicated, but also obvious. It’s more difficult, because without recommendations from more experienced dancers, unfortunately, it’s not so easy to find a good quality video on the net (I mean not the resolution quality, but the content itself).

    Meaningful video viewing is about building an understanding of HOW dancers make a particular impression on a partner or viewer. Technology is at the heart of everything. Understanding how the pros do it is a big step forward.

    It is important to distinguish a show from a disco dance, a staged performance from an improvisation, a stylized dance from an authentic one, etc. Ask for recommendations and dance teachers will always throw off a couple of videos of worthy landmarks.

    Tango Z. Showreel.

    Online modern tango courses

    Tango nuevo is the most advanced version of tango. We can quickly learn to dance from zero to a steep level.

    View details

    3. Dance in salsatecas/milongas/discotheques

    A very delicate moment when it is worth coming to the first party. From a technical point of view, most students in 1-3 months have a sufficient set of figures and techniques to come and dance calmly. Psychologically, the same moment can be stretched out for an indefinite time. After all, it is imperative to “not lose face”, “learn more figures” and be sure what to do in case “there is an unfamiliar movement”.

    In fact, the partygoers don't really care (except for a small layer of non-professional teachers who want to help inexperienced dancers by treating them as customers in the future). It is important to come and try dancing after a month of classes. You can only with friends or guys from your group. This will be enough to feel the adrenaline and inspiration from the dance.

    4. Dance with partners or partners not of your level

    The conventional wisdom that you need to practice in groups of your level does not withstand the test of experience. Perhaps now your eyes widened in surprise, and you want to meaningfully read the phrase again. Yes, you saw everything correctly: when you dance with a partner of your level, you don’t grow anywhere.

    It's important to understand that not only does it work one way and you have to dance with cooler dancers, but it works even more effectively the other way. It is no coincidence that teaching pair dances dramatically raises the level of the teacher himself. You have an endless stream of very beginner dancers.

    How it works. A more experienced partner needs to be "stretched". It's easy and obvious. With beginners, you need to take more initiative on yourself, see the general pattern of the dance more widely, turn on and insure more, try to be an example and be more careful. The quality of interaction begins to grow significantly. And wonderful partners too.

    Dancing with partners of your level doesn't make you grow. Dance with both beginners and more advanced dancers

    Dominican Bachata Women's Style Online Course

    Want to learn how to hypnotize those around you with the most appetizing part of your body? On the course we will tell you all the secrets.


    5. Learn to dance for a partner and for a partner

    Turks and Argentines are one of the best partners in the world. In Russia, partners are highly valued. Why? The answer is simple. In Argentina and Turkey, it is not questionable for men to ask another man to lead in one piece or another and give feedback on the quality of the lead. For them, it will be a great shame to hear moralizing from a partner, or even more so to be known in the community as an insecure partner.

    In Russia, due to the constant, often far-fetched, opinion that there are more women in pair dances, partners calmly get up and study their partner's part. Such partners then grow into very cool dancers and teachers. In no case do this at parties, only in class. Here we are talking only about the learning strategy. At parties, be yourself.

    6. Do not memorize the links

    Always try to look deeper and understand the through principle and idea of ​​movement. Understanding what and how is done will make it possible to independently generate any sequences and chips.

    Human memory is limited and there will always be a moment when something will escape and your repertoire will be limited by the size of RAM.

    In Argentine tango, for example, there are seven levels of movement construction that, when mastered, will allow you to make millions of combinations. And how many dance sequences can you really remember? In rueda, more than 150 figures dance in a rare circle. It's hard to keep more in mind.

    7. Develop your body

    Many years of experience in teaching couple dance shows that as soon as everyone pairs up in a class, any progress in individual style ends. But it is the individual style that distinguishes everyone at the disco: partners change, and style is always with you.

    The body as the main instrument of dance must be very plastic, responsive and emotional. Surprisingly, not all pair dance schools have a general physical warm-up. It is vital to tune the body and understand how it works.

    You can always train extra and concentrate more on the basic steps, as their true value is as body work. The sequence of steps is, in fact, the simplest thing that can be in pair dancing. The quality of individual performance determines the craftsmanship.

    8. Try on the images of inspiring dancers

    A psychological life hack for those who have already mastered the steps, but still feel that there is not enough brightness and drive. Most are terribly afraid of being someone else's "clone". Here the action is the same as under the influence of hypnosis - the more you resist, the more you plunge into an altered state of consciousness.

    With a high degree of probability, you are already dancing like someone else's "clone". A meaningful fitting of someone else's image is that you mentally take the image of the one who inspires you (inspiration is critical in this case) and "put on" yourself. Then you start dancing and trying to feel in general how it is to be able, for example, to be the best partner or the sexiest partner in a disco. This is much more difficult than it seems. But it works extremely efficiently.

    9. Dance to offbeat music

    Habitual rhythms keep you tight. Tango salon or speedy timba leave little room for experimentation and fantasy. Pattern dancing is always noticeable and is reserved for beginners.

    The truly new is born outside of the usual. Look for places to experiment. If there is no place, organize self-training. The main thing is not to get carried away, because music determines the style. We bring something new to pair dances, rather than trying to change them.

    Search, improvise, don’t be afraid to go beyond, develop in different directions, be inspired by music atypical for the style

    10. Try your hand at basic dance directions

    dances exist according to their own non-choreographic laws.

    This is the deepest delusion, which has turned into a ceiling for the qualitative development of partner dances. After all, all professional dancers, for example, in salsa or bachata, build their ideas on the basic choreographic principles.

    Do not think that choreography is only applicable on stage. Any meaningful movement of the body can be choreographic. In general, try classical or modern choreography. Basically, hip-hop can work too.

    11. Look for battle sensations

    Pair dances return us to an active position of manifestation of our body. As in the days of our ancient ancestors, we impress the members of the opposite sex by how dexterous, hardy, sexy, etc. we are. Modern laws of the jungle in the entourage of large cities.

    If you look around the dance floor, it becomes clear that the majority are clearly herbivores (not in the sense of vegetarians, but in relation to those around them). I am sure that predators are always more interesting in terms of the attractiveness of the image - try to find a counterbalance among herbivores, for example, a cat woman or a lion man.

    The conversation is about an internal position, not about aggressiveness. Lability and lack of control are inherent in adolescents, and not in adult self-sufficient people.

    Accordingly, even a training or friendly battle gives, on the one hand, practical skills - to make a bright sequence of movements, bring an idea to a climax, show a spectacular feature, on the other hand, develops the psychological basis of the dance - self-confidence, resistance to extraneous attention, self-control and self-control in complex elements.

    12. Communicate with professionals

    The environment shapes the internal position. Basically, real passionaries of the dance community are ready to openly talk, discuss and support the development of dance in every possible way. Universal principles and the ideas they articulate have a much longer and more practical perspective than meets the eye.

    Accept that, for example, behind the words "listen to your partner" is not only a beautiful metaphor, but also a practical skill to literally listen to your partner. At the same time, always treat every thought, even the most respected teacher, as a private opinion.

    Your skill will lie in finding the scope of the idea even in conflicting opinions. Most often, the contradiction is speculative and the truth lies in the angle of perception or situationality.

    Your dancing growth will stop sooner or later. This can happen at the level of three basic steps or years of experience in teaching and show performances. Regardless of your level, the suggested 12 life hacks can get you off the ground and greatly accelerate your dance growth. There is no way here without your motivation and activity. Take your dance development into your own hands. 9Ol000 Dangerous sexuality

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    Mamita Fridays: salsa, bachata

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    Argentinean tango through the eyes of a salsa dancer

    Is there a predisposition to dancing?

    Which is more effective: individual or group lessons?

    Sexual overtones in couple dances

    How to learn to dance in clubs for a guy


    fashion came out synchronized movements of couples in a waltz or mazurka. For at least a century now, men have had to guess what a profitable disco dance should be like. Unfortunately, even professional choreographers will not answer this question. But we will try to highlight the basic rules.

    hop and R'n'B

    Rules to follow


    Let's tell you a secret: most guys on the dance floor don't look stupid because they haven't taken lessons in dance studios and can't tell tectonics from r'n'b , but because they do not catch the rhythm of the music and cannot relax. And if no one usually pays attention to the first, then the second immediately catches the eye of others.

    Hence the first rule: listen to music and let your body dance freely.

    Choose a style

    If you are a frequent discotheque visitor, you should choose a certain dance direction in which you will move on the dance floor. Of course, this will depend on the music that the DJ will put on, but for ten years now hip-hop and electronic music have not left the clubs. Therefore, you can master the basic movements of either one or the other. The "electronics" elements are a bit simpler, so it might be worth starting with them. Video tutorials to help you!

    Sign up for a trial class

    Try to vary your movements

    If after watching the videos you still can't feel comfortable on the dance floor, you should consider signing up for a dance studio. An experienced teacher, a company of like-minded people and regular classes will quickly do their job, and you will finally be able to relax and stop having complexes while dancing. Plus, to the envy of your peers, you will no longer dance like a “newbie”.

    Remember that everything is for fun

    If you do somersaults on the court for ten minutes with a tense face, and then return to the table sweaty, your friends are unlikely to appreciate it. Understand that dancing is not a competition, but a completely cultural form of recreation. As they say, relax and have fun!

    Let it all flow

    Let go of your body and emotions, surrender to the music and move without paying attention to others.

    Learn more