How to play last dance with mary jane solo

"Mary Jane's Last Dance" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Video lesson

Print-Friendly Song Sheet 4 pages

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Editor’s notes

In this lesson, I’ll show you how to play an acoustic version of Mary Jane’s Last Dance by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I’ll show you the chords needed, explain the intro riff, the hammer-ons, strumming pattern, and some cool riffs & flourish runs you can do to spice things up. This is an approachable song that can be rewarding even for advanced guitarists, so check it out and have fun!

Video timestamps:

  • 0:00 Preview / playthrough
  • 0:54 Lesson overview & tuning notes
  • 1:30 Intro chords & timing
  • 2:39 Intro chords strum pattern
  • 3:05 Intro hammer-on technique
  • 5:00 Verse chords & strumming
  • 5:47 Verse harmonica solo riff
  • 7:03 Chorus chords & strumming
  • 7:54 Chorus fills, riffs, and runs
  • 9:40 Lead guitar riff
  • 11:33 Farewell

A quick note about tuning…

If you want to play along with Tom Petty’s recorded version, you’ll need to tweak your tuner to use ~453hz instead of 440hz (which is the default). But, make sure you keep your guitar in standard tuning (meaning, the strings are E-A-D-G-B-E, from thick to thin). Here’s a video (and some additional notes) where I show how to do this (note, my video lesson above has me in “pitch standard” of 440hz):

Lyrics w/ chords

If you want a print-friendly version of this, with chords written above all the lyrics (in the final verses), get my PDF!

Quick note about guitar tuning

Head’s up, the album version of this song isn’t quite in perfect concert pitch of A4 = 440hz. Instead, it’s tuned to roughly A4 = 453hz, which is slightly sharp. This is likely because the recording was sped up in post-production (raising the pitch), or perhaps they simply all tuned their instruments a bit sharp for some reason. I’m noting this because playing along with Petty’s version (if you’re in standard tuning) won’t sound quite right. My video lesson is in standard tuning, with A4 = 440hz (the normal concert pitch that tuners default to).

Quick note about key

While you might initially guess this song is in the key of A-minor, it’s actually using notes from the A dorian scale, which are A-B-C-D-E-F#-G. In case its helpful, notice these are the same notes used in the G major scale – and you’re simply using “A” as your home note instead of a “G”. The chorus, however, which has that switch to an A-major chord, uses notes from the E dorian scale (E-F#-G-A-B-C#-D)… which are the same notes as A-dorian but adds the C# note (which is the single note making the A-minor chord become an A-major, instead).

How to play the chords

Here are the chords you’ll need to be able to play to pull off this song. Not a lot! And fortunately, no barre chords.

E –––0–––––3–––––2–––––0–––––0––– B –––1–––––0–––––3–––––0–––––2––– G –––2–––––0–––––2–––––0–––––2––– D –––2–––––0–––––0–––––2–––––2––– A –––0–––––2–––––––––––2–––––0––– E –––––––––3–––––––––––0––––––––– Am G D Em A 

Chord progressions

The tempo for Mary Jane’s last dance is 170 beats per minute (bpm), with four counts per each chord. If this seems fast, then cut it in half (85 bpm) – and know the metronome clicks will happen on the “1” and “3” counts only.

For the intro, verse, and interludes – you’ll want to repeat this progression.

See my sheet music for the chord progression diagram. 

For the chorus, you’ll change it up to use this. Note how you’re doing much less chord switching here – instead, you stay on each chord for quite a long time.

See my sheet music for the chord progression diagram. 


Want a basic strumming pattern? Try this. This is what I use for the verse. This uses four equal counts for each chord. You could play the intro with this also, if you wanted…

See my sheet music for my strumming diagram. 

To step things up a notch: I use this fancier strumming for the intro riff.

See my sheet music for my strumming diagram. 

Intro & verse riff hammer-ons

A big part of getting close to the Tom Petty guitar sound is using hammer-ons when you play some of the chords – most notably during the intro to the song. There are probably many subtleties and variations I could write tabs for – but I’ll begin with these two simple versions.

For the A-minor, use your regular left-hand finger positions – put wait until after you strum the chord before bringing down your ring and middle fingers. When you bring your fingers down onto the strings, do it with force and speed. If done right, this will make a new sound, as if you’ve plucked the notes with your pick. See my video for context.

See my sheet music for the tab. 

Same deal with the D-major chord – hammer on the high-E string with your left hand’s middle finger. You could hammer-on all three notes if you wanted to – it’s up to you.

See my sheet music for the tab. 

The full tab I play roughly looks like this:

See my sheet music for the tab. 

If this seems difficult, that’s fine! It’s like that for everyone at first. Keep practicing, session after session. You’ll slowly get better with time. Seriously.

Verse harmonica imitation

It is possible, should you wish, to imitate the notes that the harmonica plays in the album version (between verses). You’ll do it using the tab below. The key here is accenting the highest note (i.e., the note on the thinnest string) for each chord you strum. Also notice how you’re never strumming the high-E string – that would ruin the melodic effect. Watch my video lesson for context.

See my sheet music for the tab. 

Chorus flourish

Here’s how to spice up the E-minor, which is totally optional. I play this by using my pinky and ring finger on the high-E string. These notes map to the vocal melody of the song

See my sheet music for the tab. 

Next, is the A-major. You can spice this up by using simple Asus4 chords (done by adding your pinky down on the 3rd fret of the B string). Play this freely, using whatever strum timing you like.

See my sheet music for the tab. 

Finally, my favorite way to spice up the A-major is as follows. This one is much more tricky – but it creates a very nice ascending sound. The trick here, is to realize that there are only two chord shapes you’re using – even though the frets change on each chord. If you get your left hand’s fingers to memorize the two simple shapes, the only thing left to do is memorizing the anchor fret for each position. See my video for context!

See my sheet music for the tab. 

Lead guitar lick, simplified

Finally, here’s a “simple” way to play the distinctive lead lick you hear during some of the instrumental verses. By “simple” I am keeping this to one string at a time, as opposed to playing 2-3 strings at once (which it sounds like you hear on the album version).

See my sheet music for the tab. 

Mary Jane's Last Dance by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

  • In a Songfacts interview with Mike Campbell, the Heartbreakers guitarist explained how this song came together: "That song took on a few shapes. It was written in my garage. I didn't write it, but we were jamming in the garage and Tom was playing one of my guitars. It was called 'Indiana Girl,' the first chorus was 'Hey, Indiana Girl, go out and find the world. ' We liked the song and Rick Rubin suggested we cut it. It had actually been around for a while, just the basic riff and that chorus. We cut the song and Tom was singing the chorus, and he decided he just couldn't get behind singing about 'Hey, Indiana Girl,' so we went back and about a week later he came in and said 'I've got a better idea,' so he changed the chorus to 'Last dance with Mary Jane.' In the verse there is still the thing about an Indiana girl on an Indiana night, just when it gets to the chorus he had the presence of mind to give it a deeper meaning."

  • Petty never said what this song is about, but there are two common interpretations. It could be about Petty's divorce from his wife Jane, which happened a year before this was recorded. Another possibility is that it is about marijuana, as "Mary Jane" is slang for pot and the lyrics refer to killing the pain, which the drug is known for. Mike Campbell offered this explanation: "My take on it is it can be whatever you want it to be. A lot of people think it's a drug reference, and if that's what you want to think, it very well could be, but it could also just be a goodbye love song."

  • Petty made some strange videos, and this was no exception. Tom played a mortician who takes home a corpse played by Kim Basinger. When he gets her home, he puts her in a wedding dress and dances with her. Then he puts her in a pickup truck and throws her into the ocean, and she opens her eyes as she sinks. It won Best Male Video at the MTV Video Music Awards.

    The clip was directed by Keir McFarlane, who later did Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy." If Petty seems strangely comfortable in the role of mortician, it might be because he used to be a gravedigger.

  • Basinger was not the first choice for the video. Petty wanted Sharon Stone, but she didn't answer his request. Petty wanted a raving beauty to play the corpse so it would make sense why his character keeps her around.

  • Petty played the guitar solo at the end after Campbell persuaded him to do it. Mike is known as an outstanding guitarist, but he thought Tom had a good sound going, so he told him to play a fuzzy sort of guitar solo. Says Mike, "He actually played a nice little bit at the end of that."

  • Mike Campbell told Songfacts: "An interesting thing about that record, the same day we did the last overdubs, that guitar and a few little bits, we did a rough mix here at my house, just did it by hand. Then we went to three or four different studios over the next couple of weeks and tried to do a proper mix, and we could never beat that rough mix, so that was the mix we put out. It's an interesting track, it's very inaccurate, it's kind of greasy and loose. That day we just gelled and every time we mixed it we could clean up the sound and make it more posh, but it just didn't have the juice that one mix had. "

  • In 2006, The Red Hot Chili Peppers released "Dani California," which sounded very similar to this and was also produced by Rick Rubin. Petty showed no interest in suing the band, as they felt it was not malicious. The first eight bars of both songs sound similar, but the chords are different. In this song, the chords are "Am, G, D, Am" and in "Dani California," the chords are "Am, G, Dm, Am." Both of these chord progressions are very common in rock music. >>

    Suggestion credit:
    Bert - Pueblo, NM

  • Petty told Mojo magazine January 2010 that Mary Jane is the same character as the female in "American Girl," "with a few hard knocks."

  • Last dance with Mary Jane

    Views: 2037


    Mary Jane stepped out onto the spacious patio and leaned against the wooden railing to smoke a cigarette. From the hill where she stood, there was a wonderful view of the vineyards going down, the black ribbon of the highway winding through them, the interspersed red tile roofs and what made this estate especially valuable - a flat dark blue field of the Pacific Ocean, foaming with whites, quickly disappearing. ribbons behind speeding boats. The ocean was quite far away and unsuitable for swimming, but still significantly raised the price of this California property just because it was visible from the windows. She always felt good here, despite the fact that the estate did not belong to her, but to the Cooper family, who kept a film studio for elite films for adults right on their estate. The place for the studio was chosen not at all in order to cause a surge of aesthetic emotions among the workers, but because the second half of the house was the residence of the company's owners, James and Liz Cooper, and it was more convenient for them.
    With terrible difficulty, having survived the pornographic boom on the Internet, the Coopers' business still stayed afloat, thanks to the amazing instinct of a talented director - James. It was he who accurately guessed the refined needs of genuine experts in the industry and supplied them with what their sophisticated taste required, as opposed to the crude, primitive mass Internet. It was James Cooper who recognized the star in Mary Jane in time, and, after several questions of a biographical nature, came up with a pseudonym for her by the name of one of his favorite songs, “The Last Dance with Mary Jane”

    She grew up in an Indiana town
    Had a good-lookin' mama who never was around.
    But she grew up tall and she grew up right
    With them Indiana boys on them Indiana nights

    Grew up tall, wanting everything
    with Indian boys on Indian nights.

    The very appearance of Mary Jane was in stark contrast to the type of professional activity that she had chosen for herself. “A wife and mother, a healthy strong female,” was the first thing that came to mind to anyone who met this blooming twenty-year-old daughter of a farmer from Indiana, whose real name was Anna McCain. On the street, however, there were also such men who, when they met, broke into a smile and saw her off with meaningful glances, as if they knew something more about her, but she was used to this and did not pay attention.
    Why men preferred to see in a pornographic film a woman who fit to play a young housewife in children's TV shows was a mystery to the entire studio, but the discs with her participation were rapidly sold out. Maybe viewers were fed up with smoky city bitches with skinny knees and subconsciously gravitated from painful sex to something physically healthy. It was not clear how in general they found films with her participation in chaotically dumped discs in specialized stores?
    Success and a solid position in the studio instilled confidence in Mary Jane to such an extent that when the secretary asked her to go to the director, she did not feel any anxiety. This usually happened when an actress who was out of consumer demand was fired, but Mary Jane did not for a second admit that something like this could happen to her.
    - If not dismissal, then what? Mary thought. She remembered a couple of dramas of fired actresses unfolding in front of her with tears and rhetorical questions - well, where am I now? But then everything worked out. Actresses got jobs at other lower rank studios, and everything went on as before with a downward adjustment in salaries and a more intense work schedule. People uninitiated in the details of business have always wondered: why do porn actors and actresses need to get a job somewhere? Why not rent an abandoned hangar somewhere in Nevada for pennies, buy equipment and start creating great art. But this business was not easy. In order to attach finished products, connections were needed. It turned out like in Mr. Cooper's favorite joke, when the son, listening to the opera, asks the question, - Dad, how to become an opera singer? - For this, son, powerful connections are needed. At this point, Mr. Cooper laughed for the first time. “What, don’t you need to be able to sing?” - he said a remark for his son in a higher voice. - Not necessarily, but if you can, it will help a little in your career. And then Mr. Cooper laughed a second time, because this anecdote, in Cooper's opinion, reflected the business relations in his business in the best possible way.
    So, Mary Jane was walking down the hallway thinking about what a challenge, a new super project, screen tests for new candidates, a special bonus for the last role? She remembered the second verse of "The Last Dance" and thought that she had something similar in her life:

    Well, she moved down here at the age of eighteen.
    She blew the boys away, was more than they'd seen.
    I was introduced and we both started groovin'
    She said, "I dig you baby, but I got to keep movin' on
    Keep movin' on"

    She came here, she became an adult.
    Everyone was glued to her, but she sent them.
    Then I met her, here's a lucky break.
    She said: "You're great, but I'll find something better."

    She came to California and was surprised to find that it was difficult to get a job here, even in a cafeteria just to stand at the counter and make coffee for customers, which was very easy to do in Indiana. “That's because California,” she was told. There were men who offered help in finding employment, but she kicked them off for obvious reasons. And if not a cafeteria, then what? She did not know how, and factories began, one after another. What stupid and ridiculous work did not have to do, up to chopping off the heads of chickens on a conveyor belt. But even in these miserable jobs, amorphous managers with a vaguely defined figure made pathetic attempts to win favor from her in exchange for some meager allowances. There were, of course, stormy romances that quickly ended when she found out that her boyfriend was either married or preparing for a wedding with the daughter of a famous businessman. She did not experience any strong mental trauma from this, except perhaps a feeling of annoyance. And so she took this step, which dramatically changed her life, arriving at the Cooper estate for a screen test.
    - It's strange why these verses from the song on the way to the office suddenly came to mind, she thought, maybe because Mr. Cooper thought that this song was the best fit for her appearance?

    Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain,
    I feel summer creepin' in and I'm tired of this town again.

    The last dance with Mary Jane, you warm me like anesthesia,
    and the pain is gone, it's summer again, and I hate this city.

    - What did they mean by this in the song? Everyone knows that Mary Jane is the second name for marijuana, and that it really relieves pain. And what about Indiana? Marijuana doesn't really grow in Indiana. In the south of the state, it can and can be grown, but not where she lived. Guitarist Mike Campbell did not refute or confirm the drug hypothesis in his interview, but simply said - let everyone understand the song as they want.
    Near the door, she ran into Liz Cooper. Liz somehow smiled strangely, not like usual. It was Mr. Cooper's wife and co-owner of the company.
    - Is it really a dismissal after all? Mary thought, - what kind of conversation is this with both owners at once?
    She entered the spacious office she had been to before. The appearance of the office did not betray the type of business of its owner. Everything about him was as usual. You might have thought that Mr. Cooper was an oil tycoon. He stood with a glass of whiskey in his hand in the middle of the room, and without smiling or saying hello, he immediately pointed to the leather sofa and said, - Sit down, Anna.
    The use of the real name cut the ear and dispelled doubts. Since she is no longer Mary Jane, this means that from here she will be escorted to the car, assured that the check has already arrived in her bank account, wish her success, and when she leaves, they will tell the guards that from now on she is no longer supposed to appear on the territory Cooper estates and near it.
    - Am I fired? Mary asked calmly.
    - No, James said, but there are problems.
    - Mary, - Liz intercepted the conversation, - we love you very much ...
    - Are they firing everyone like that? - thought Mary, - now I'm Mary again, she got up and said aloud, - can I go?
    - Well, sit down, you fool, - James suddenly exploded, - dismissal is nonsense compared to what you are about to hear.
    "James, stop right now," Liz cut in, "and let me talk."
    - Forgive Mary, - James was embarrassed, - let Liz speak, and you sit down and listen, we are not your enemies.
    - Mary, - Liz continued again, - what happened is not your fault, and we are very sorry that this happened, but I have to tell you that you may no longer be suitable for our business, I will repeat , Maybe. You should get checked by a doctor for the immunodeficiency virus.
    - How... what am I... - muttered Mary confused, - I don’t ... I have nothing like that lately ...
    - Mary, - Liz spoke again, - I already said, you have nothing to do with it, you are just a victim, we are very sorry. For obvious reasons, I can't tell you all the details. But on the last shoot, not everyone in your group was healthy, and some of you may have also become infected. It is absolutely not necessary that you are sick, but you must urgently get checked out, and until the final clarification of the situation, we cannot allow you to film, as this will put other actors at risk. Please, Mary, keep calm, people live with it, but not in our business. Here's Dr. Bernstein's business card, he's a good friend of ours, he'll run all the necessary tests. It may very well be that you are healthy, then we will take you back. The analysis takes quite a long time, because you could have been infected at the last shooting, which was just a few days ago. You may just have to wait a couple of weeks, we, of course, will pay you for the forced absence, the money will be electronically transferred to your account.

    Apparently, over the years of evolution, the human brain has developed a defense against stress. As Mary got into her red Ferrari and started toward the house, her brain hadn't yet fully appreciated the drama of the situation. But as she moved away from the Cooper estate, her new position began to manifest itself more and more clearly.
    - Yes, they don’t die from this now, but they swallow some kind of pills all their lives, - she thought, - where did this rubbish come from. It seems from Africa, from some monkeys. Someone caught a monkey and fucked it right on a branch, so what? Maybe, indeed, this was sent to mankind by God as a punishment, then it is not clear why God should have spared lesbians, because they do not get sick. Why don't they get sick, the devil knows, but they don't get sick. How does she remember all this? Yes, from these stupid television debates about morality and morality. Every time someone says that the bible is the biggest bestseller on the planet, a book whose circulation exceeds everything else, someone will certainly remind you that pornography comes in second place by a small margin, i. e. she's in the second largest business in the world. Yes, God bless her with morality, but who in their narrowly professional community was tempted by a monkey and brought this rubbish? Liz said about the last shooting - clearly: John, Linda and Jennifer, however, the investigation will not change anything, but Linda needs to be met.
    She drove up to her three-story mansion and thought - how much beautiful life is left? There are savings, but for a long time, a year or two, if you save. Yes, and sex just for relaxation during leisure hours will have to be thrown out of your head. Now schoolchildren already know that a condom protects against the HIV virus, but the sick person should not have sexual contact with healthy people in any form, even if they know and agree. And then how? A chance acquaintance in a bar, or maybe, as in one funny story that she recently came across on the Internet, some Russian with a funny surname Bunion. There, the prosperous mother and wife decided to relax a little on the steamboat and spend a good time with the young lieutenant, and in the morning she acted out remorse and took off. This role will work for me. Everyone who sees me, for some reason, interprets me that way. And what to do with my innocent face, so well exposed in that porn that is stacked in adult stores. We'll have to unwind on the plastic, let it be slightly redrawn. After all, one Russian programmer-inventor came to the owner with a business proposal. He is a specialist in video and some kind of three-dimensional images. He offered to buy a program that will go through the film, and the faces of all porn actors will be slightly redone. No, they will all remain attractive, and even facial expressions will be preserved, but no one will recognize them on the street. So the owner regretted the money - a lousy miser, he says our girls like popularity. Damn, why so tired…

    Well, I don't know, but I've been told
    You never slow down, you never grow old.
    I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going down,
    Tired of myself, tired of this town

    Oh, my my, oh, hell yes.
    Honey, put on that party dress.
    Buy me a drink, sing me a song.
    Take me as I come 'cause I can't stay long.

    Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain.
    I feel summer creepin' in and I'm tired of this town again.

    No, I don't know what will happen to you,
    but you stay like this forever.
    I'm tired of dynamizing everyone, I'm tired of talking,
    I'm tired of myself, I'm tired of this city.

    Hello, I want anesthesia
    put on the outfit that I brought,
    buy me a drink and sing as a reward,
    let's fuck now and I need to run.

    The last dance with Mary Jane, you warm me like anesthesia,
    and the pain is gone, it's summer again, and I hate this city.

    The gloomy and depressive mood of the next morning was slightly dispelled by the meeting with Linda. They met and decided to have a chat at a restaurant table outside under the palm trees overlooking the ocean, where young people with beautiful figures were speeding past the restaurant on roller skates. It was not the peak season and it was possible to take a break from the usual crowds. From the side of the beach came the sound of the surf, which somewhat reassured both women who were in a difficult life situation. Linda fanatically followed some ancient Chinese philosophy with the comically sounding name of Feng Shui, so she walked around the tables for a long time, choosing the correct direction of the mouth for eating relative to the parts of the world, and also estimated the angles and distances from the surrounding buildings and trees growing around. Mary looked at all this with a detached and expectant look, letting Linda calmly choose a seat in an almost empty restaurant.
    - She is a Feng Shuist, - Mary explained to the waitress who was watching these movements in amazement, she nodded understandingly.
    As the women sat down at the table, Linda delved into the menu. Here, too, she should not be distracted. She did some calculations in her mind, periodically asking what day and date it was. Finally the order was placed and we could talk. Linda began to tell everything she knew at the moment in that specific style of what could be called a system of positive thinking. In accordance with this system, all problems had to be told at ease with a slight smile, as if the drama was happening not with you, but with your good acquaintance and, in the end, was safely resolved. This, according to the theory, should have led to the very successful resolution of the difficult situation.
    Linda was well informed. The disease was brought by this sugary athletic John. It is not clear why, but almost all porn actresses did not like their film partners, despite all their external attractiveness. From these seemingly pumped athletes, nothing masculine blew, and porn actresses interpreted them as women with other anatomical data. All these boys were sculpting themselves at three months, taking anabolic steroids. Most of the uninitiated think that chemicals can quickly bring a person to the grave, which is true only if the drugs are abused. Doping kills only professional athletes who take it for life for the result and give all the best in competitions. And if you take a couple of months, build muscle and then only maintain them with light workouts three times a week, then it works great and is almost harmless. These steroid muscles and John's purely feminist gesture, when he tucked behind his ear, long hair that had come out during sex, irritated Mary all the time, it seemed to her that she was filming a lesbian video.
    So, with a casual smile, Linda told how handsome John went on vacation to the carnival in Rio de Janeiro. Considering the way John makes a living, it would be reasonable to assume that he would devote this time to studying Confucius and meditating by the ocean, but that was not the case. On some day of his stay, John joined the carnival procession and merged with the crowd dancing in ecstasy. Charged with sexual emotions from the vibrating hips of mulattos, he began to look for the object of draining the sperm accumulated over several days of absence from work and did not find anything better than an ordinary Brazilian prostitute. And the one, as luck would have it, did not have a condom, apparently that day she had already worked hard and used up the entire supply, and John decided to play Russian roulette and lost. That's the whole story. Of course, he now raises his eyes to heaven like a penitent Magdalene and asks the Lord to punish him for all the evil that he caused to his colleagues, but this does not make it any easier for them all. Linda has already been tested by Dr. Bernstein, but it takes a long time to wait for the result and several tests may be needed, since the period after a possible infection is very short and at this stage the disease is difficult to detect.
    Here Linda glanced at the fat man at the next table and said, - I think it's time for us to leave, because that fat man at the table opposite recognized us and seems to be wanking quietly under the table, perhaps he has a conditioned reflex to us.
    Mary finally laughed. The idea that a man who has seen their joint porn more than once suddenly meets them alive, sitting at a restaurant table, seemed funny. Here, indeed, a conditioned reflex may well work.

    After passing the medical analysis, senseless and tedious days of waiting began. Mary had never spent her time so aimlessly in her life. The flying hours looked like severed chicken heads on a conveyor belt. Mary tried to read everything on the Internet, wandered around the house, answering the friendly nods of neighbors walking their dogs, or sat in cafeterias, staring at one point until she began to feel that someone recognized her. Or maybe it just seemed to her that she found out, but she, nevertheless, left.
    Finally got a call from the doctor's office and invited for a second analysis. She was told in advance that there would be at least two analyzes, since the period is very short and the probability of error is high. In the event that the results of the two analyzes diverge, more will be required, and if they match, then the result can be considered final.
    In the office, she was simply escorted to the laboratory nurse without speaking or explaining anything. So simple, businesslike: sit down… put your hand… work with your fist, etc. She expected something more. She was about to leave, but she thought it would be nice to know the result of the first analysis. The secretary behind the counter at the entrance received instructions by phone.
    - Yes, Dr. Bernstein... I understand, Dr. Bernstein... of course, Dr. Bernstein... don't worry, Dr. Bernstein...
    - Finally she said, "Thank you very much, Dr. Bernstein," and looked up at Mary.
    - Two weeks ago I had an analysis with you, well, for this ... well, you remember ...
    - Yes, of course, Miss McCain, I remember you, as far as I know, you were informed that there would be several analyzes.
    - Tell me, is the first analysis ready?
    The secretary slightly turned the monitor screen towards her and began to quickly click on the keyboard and move the mouse.
    - Yes, it is already ready, but our rules do not allow this result to be brought to the attention of the patient, but it is written here, since it is considered as intermediate.
    - You know, - said Mary, suppressing her irritation, - I'm actually interested in the intermediate result too.
    "I understand, Ms. McCain, but it's against our rules, besides, you agreed to our terms, so your signature is worth it," she said, nodding at the monitor screen turned to her.
    It seemed to Mary that this fat, ugly woman was simply mocking. She already knows the nature of her work. Or maybe she herself bought her husband porn with her participation in order to raise what no longer reacts to her thick hips and hanging belly, covering what should be covered with beautiful underwear.
    - I didn't understand something, - Mary said in a defiant voice, - don't you want to show me this fucking analysis done in your fucking office with the money that I paid you here, do I understand your fucking rules correctly?
    - Ms. McCain, I ask you to leave the office immediately or I will call security.
    - I will leave your fucking office, but first I will find out the result that you made for my money. Mary grabbed the monitor screen and tried to turn it towards her.
    - What are you doing? - the secretary shouted, practically leaning on the monitor with her whole body, only so that there would be no violation of the rules established by the doctor, - security ... guard ... guard ...
    Someone's obviously strong male hands grabbed Mary and dragged her to the exit.
    - Let me in... I need to know... let me in, - Mary kicked and resisted as best she could, then everything suddenly went dark

    There's pigeons down on Market Square.
    She's standin' in her underwear.
    Lookin' down from a hotel room.
    Nightfall will be comin' soon

    Oh, my my, oh, hell yes.
    You got to put on that party dress.
    It was too cold to cry when I woke up alone.
    I hit my last number and walked to the road.

    And the doves coo in the square all summer,
    and she is almost naked at the window,
    looks down from the hotel room,
    and the night crawls to her bed.

    Hello, I want anesthesia,
    put on the outfit I brought.
    I woke up alone, well, thank God,
    thought - another one - and went to the road.

    As if from afar she heard a voice, - Miss, are you okay, miss, can you hear me, miss, do you understand what I'm saying?
    She saw a policeman, her head ached, next to the policeman, pale and embarrassed, stood some tall man and muttered, - I tried carefully ... she herself against the door frame ... would have seen how she kicked ... healthy as a horse ... she almost killed herself.
    - Shut up, - said the policeman and, turning to her, repeated, - Miss, how are you feeling?
    - What happened?
    - Yes, this guard did not remove you very carefully from the office, tell me you want to proceed to the police station and make a statement, then I will quickly put handcuffs on this moron.
    "Yes, she herself," the guard began again.
    - Shut up, - while I'm talking to the victim, - again the pass of his policeman.
    - No, - said Mary, finally realizing what happened, - everything is fine, he was just doing his job, nothing personal, we are all doing our job and that woman in the office, who should have gone on a diet long ago, and I, and he and you. I'll go, everything's fine.
    She got up and swayed, the policeman supported her by the elbow - maybe you need a doctor?
    - No thanks, I just got back from him.

    A few more monotonous and meaningless days passed. She lay on the bed and listened to the meaningless ringing of the phone. Someone clearly wanted her to pick up the phone and repeat calls at intervals of half an hour either to her home number or to her mobile. The answering machine did not work after she dropped the phone on the floor, but the phone itself continued to work.
    Finally she got tired of it and decided to answer. On the next call, she picked up the phone. It was Liz Cooper.
    - Oh my God, Mary, finally, I'm going crazy here, you don't pick up the phone, I really think you didn't do something stupid, thank God you answered. And I have good news. Your tests are in perfect order, you can come back, we are waiting for you, you know how much we love you, James asks about you every five minutes.
    - How do you know about analysis?
    - Well, you yourself set the option allowing them to report the result to us as proxies, don't worry, Dr. Bernstein never breaks the rules like all his staff.
    - Yes, yes, I had a chance to verify this, but what about Linda?
    "Linda, Jennifer and John don't work for us anymore," Liz replied bluntly.
    - Yes, thanks for the good news, I'll be there tomorrow afternoon, and sorry for what I did in Dr. Bernstein's office, you probably know?
    - Oh my god, what a trifle, a bad girl from bad movies made a little ruckus, it would be strange if you behaved differently, we are waiting for you tomorrow.

    Mary hung up. So this is not the last dance, at least for her, but Linda is sorry and Feng Shui did not help and the system of positive thinking did not save her.

    Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain.
    I feel summer creepin' in and I'm tired of this town again.

    The last dance with Mary Jane, you warm me like anesthesia,
    and the pain is gone, it's summer again, and I hate this city.

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    Mary Jane's last dance - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

    Mary Jane's last dance

    Mary Jane's Last Dance

    She grew up in an Indiana town
    Had a good lookin' mama who never was around
    But she grew up tall and she grew up right
    With them Indiana boys on an Indiana night she moved down here at the age of eighteen
    She blew the boys away, it was more than they'd seen
    I was introduced and we both started groovin'
    She said, "I dig you baby, but I got to keep moving 'on
    Keep movin' on."

    Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain
    I feel summer creepin' in and I'm tired of this town again

    Well, I don't know, but I 've been told
    You never slow down, you never grow old
    I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going down
    Tired of myself, tired of this town

    Oh, my, my, oh, hell yes
    Honey, put on that party dress
    Buy me a drink, sing me a song
    Take me as I come cause I can't stay long

    Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain
    I feel summer creepin' in and I'm tired of this town again

    There's pigeons down on Market Square
    She's standin' in her underwear
    Lookin' down from a hotel room
    Nightfall will be comin' soon

    Oh, my, my, oh, hell yes
    You got to put on that party dress
    It was too cold to cry when I woke up alone
    I hit my last number and walked to the road

    Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain
    I feel summer creepin' in and I'm tired of this town again

    She grew up in Indiana, in a remote town nights.

    She came here at eighteen,
    Slayed the local boys who had never seen anything like it.
    Our acquaintance took place, the two of us went into the gap.
    She said, "You're a cool kid, but I gotta move on,
    Always move on.”

    One last dance with Mary Jane, one more to numb the pain.
    I feel the approach of summer, and I'm sick of this town again.

    I don't know, but they told me:
    Who doesn't slow down, doesn't get old.
    I'm tired of failures, tired of failures,
    Tired of myself, tired of this town.

    Oh my God, yes, damn it,
    Honey, put on your evening dress.
    Buy me a drink, sing me a song,
    Seize the moment while I'm here, I won't stay long.

    One last dance with Mary Jane, one more to ease the pain.
    I feel the approach of summer, and I'm sick of this town again.

    Pigeons roam the market square.
    She is standing in her underwear
    And looking out of the hotel window.
    Twilight will fall soon.

    Oh my God, yes, damn it,
    You were wearing that evening dress.
    I woke up alone, I couldn't cry from the cold,
    I took a last drag and went out onto the road.

    One last dance with Mary Jane, one more to numb the pain.
    I feel the approach of summer, and I'm sick of this town again.

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