How to dance at a rock concert
A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Dance to Any Type of Music
All photos, except this one, are by Dan Evans
Like anything that requires continuous excursion of the limbs, dancing will render you breathless and inadequate. Formative years can be spent trying to learn; girls developing their flair at a Street Dancing class in a village hall every Thursday; boys sliding across the floor at every school disco - but it’s mostly useless. Reach the legal age for adult-dancing and all skill will be replaced with the rhythmic coordination of a beer-stained sloth on MDMA.
However, the ability to bust out sweet-ass moves isn’t completely unattainable. Even if you have a gut that restricts physical activity to a brisk walk up a flight of stairs, a boilerplate exists for every genre, each movement requiring minimal effort but ensuring average comfort among a crowd full of strangers with condoms inside their wallets and bad thoughts in their brains.
I learnt about the dance-move boilerplate after spending some time on Howcast, a YouTube channel that aims to teach people “How to Kiss Harder” and “How to Win The Lottery”, assumedly created for humans without common sense. Here it was confirmed that, actually, “dance like nobody is watching” is a lie and the real quote is “dance like everybody is watching and judging your ability to conform to clichéd expectations”. With that in mind, this is a step-by-step guide on how to do just that.
How to Dance to Dubstep…
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve witnessed a person successfully dance to dubstep; mostly because it’s almost impossible to oscillate to the musical equivalent of a small-child repeatedly throwing up the contents of a twelve-pack of smell gel-pens, but also because it’s definitely impossible if you’re trying to do it while on ketamine. In this case, patiently await the drop by staring at the floor and asking yourself why you’re at a dubstep night. When the Skrillex branded-bass-bomb finally climaxes, contort your face and treat your body like an octopus, resulting in the accidental spill of a drink all down your chin. Leave before the desire to stand on the toes of the dickhead behind you becomes as inexorable as the mental frustration that comes from listening to dubstep for more than five-minutes.
How to Dance to Rock Music…
I would write a paragraph on air-guitaring, but the idiots at Howcast are on point:
“The basic thing that you want to do when you’re listening to rock if you’re at a concert or at a club or anything is basically just to feel the beat and your attitude right?”
"As cliche as it might be that's what feels good and that's just kind of like, how it goes"
“If you stay on the beat and really feel the pulse, people around you will pick up on that, and you’re going to look like a cool guy.”
“And you’re going to be rocking out! It’s going to be awesome.”
How to Dance to House Music…
Initially, buy a pair of trainers, ideally a model that is equivalent in price to two days of full-time work. They won’t help you dance, but they’ll ensure that you look as fresh as every other dickhead with a disposable income. Then, while wearing the trainers, stand in the corner of the dance-floor, making a space for yourself. Move your feet in an inexplicable format and wait for an enthusiast to write an article debating if the frequency of your foot movement is the end for House Music.
How to Dance to Pop Music…
As anyone that has witnessed the euphoria attained by vaguely connected relatives at a wedding reception will tell you, dancing to pop music is easy, especially if you’re five flutes deep. First, find your best group of best friends forever. Preferably these will be people that will boost your attractiveness, a crucial quality while nestling in the bosom of Real Life Tinder where the only swipe right is an uncomfortably long eye-fuck. Once you’ve determined a beautified Hitler Youth dressed in All Saints, stand in a circle, mouthing all the wrong words like you mean it. Make a decision to rock forward or backward and move your torso like an ornament in the back window of a car, occasionally peering into your friend’s eyes and catching a moment that cannot be described with a word. Clap your hands out of time. Check your phone. Take a selfie. Congratulate yourself for being beautiful and having the best best friends EVER. Then order some shots, render the rest of the evening a black-out, and end it tripping down the stairs in front of everyone queuing for the cloak-room.
How to Dance to Hip Hop…
In their quest to teach the world everything, Howcast created a video for dancing to rap music, stating “the main thing with hip-hop is to relax, and have fun”. But really, we all know that dancing to hip-hop is something that TBH, beyond the Honey DVD and unrealistic music videos, is limited to guy’s waving their arms and shouting one word at the end of each bar. Still, if you really really really want to dance to rap music. it’s possible. Pick a hand-signal, the Hov triangle; the Fred Durst rollin’ wave; the A$AP Rocky bounce, and ride with it, feeling like a baller because you managed to spit the first verse to “99 Problems” without fucking up.
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How to Dance at a Rock ConcertHow to Dance at a Rock Concert
Rock concerts are considered to be one of the most fun things to be a part of. This is because all hell breaks loose when you are at a rock concert, and there is nothing holding you back.
In fact, you can go all out and do just about anything, with no one really caring about what it is that you are going to be doing in the first place.
Dancing at rock concerts has always been fun for most people, since it lets them express themselves and really break free from the norms of society and what it expects them to do.
The standard issue rock concert dance move is the head bang. The head bang sees everyone bob their heads up and down.
Now what is great about this dance move, is the fact that you don’t need any dancing experience to actually excel at it. In fact, you can become pretty good at it, in almost an instant.
Head banging is regarded to be the primary dance move for every rock show, and if you are to dance at one, you shouldn’t miss out on the opportunity to do so.
Another alternative is to not dance at all. Rock and roll is all about sticking it to the man and going up against the norms of society. Now imagine all of that in dance form, you simply can’t because it is very hard to do, and close to impossible to imagine.
This is why the nothing dance is the best way to represent the true essence of rock and roll. This would have people believe that you are about to do some crazy dance moves and really express yourself. However, with you not doing anything, not only are you truly expressing yourself as an individual, but you are also leaving everyone confused, with them wondering just what it is that you will end up doing.
The last possible way to dance at a rock concert is to be random. Now this is probably the easiest way to really convey your message in dance form at the concert.
The random has you doing just about anything that you wish to do, since there is no set law or rule to what you have to do.
This is a nice dance, and you should try it if you can.
Posted by diego-sanchez in Concerts & Festivals, Events
How people dance at heavy music concerts
September 20, 2016 12:21 pm
Tags: Dancing Metal Rock
Mosh and slam. Post for those who are in the subject
With the development of heavy music, Mosh began to gain more and more popularity. This "dance" has gained its distribution in the circles of youth. As a rule, mosh suits extreme genres of music, for example, such musical styles as Deathcore, Metalcore, Moshcore and many others. Today, many people confuse Mosh (mosh) and Slam (Slam) - these are two extreme dances at rock concerts that are radically different from each other. An uninitiated person simply will not understand them, moreover, will not distinguish them from each other. On the other hand, these demeanors at rock concerts are rarely broken. Today they are used together by all lovers of music heavier and more aggressive.
Mosh and Slam appeared around the 70s. The impetus for development was punk concerts. The manner of behavior of listeners to the sounds of the guitar (distortion) was firmly entrenched in that generation. The idea of such behavior and breakaway to heavy music was quickly picked up by representatives of metal bands, i.e. Mosh and Slam began to spread rapidly throughout the United States, where rock music was constantly progressing, developing and covering more and more masses of people.
By 1980, these two dances were inseparable parts of rock concerts, but with the advent of new musical trends such as Grunge (Grunge) and Nu-Metal, the violence of slamming and moshing increased exponentially. This was done consciously, as the new styles of music featured a much tighter concert sound and a stronger aggressive presentation, both from the stage and from home tape recorders. However, Mosh was developed not only by the listeners, the musicians themselves brought a lot of new things into this direction. Once the Nu Metal style hit the mainstream, the aggressiveness of moshing became even higher. Systematic jumping and pushing people into the crowd has already been observed.
Mosh and Slam look very aggressive from the outside - this is a delusion of all beginners or people who have a remote idea of holding rock concerts. All the participants of Slem and Mosha watch each other, it makes no sense to beat with all their might, since you need to enjoy it, not grass, although the latter, to varying degrees, arise all lovers of this musical extreme.
Only people with good stamina and strength are engaged in this entertainment, because otherwise it will not be possible to get any pleasure, and numerous injuries, bruises and fractures will radically change the idea of \u200b\u200bmosh style dance.
If you don't know Mosh yet, listen to Bring Me The Horizon to get a feel for the atmosphere that the heavier music lovers bask in.
From mosh, a new musical style Moshcore was born, the music of which is aimed exclusively at the hall of brawls, for a splash of aggression.
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Tags: Dancing metal rock
How not to embarrass yourself at a concert
When you look back at yourself of the past, a sample of, say, five years ago, you invariably become ashamed of your behavior. When I remember how I behaved at concerts at the age of 18, my still not bearded cheeks are flooded with a blush of shame. I'm actually very ashamed of what an idiot I was and how I prevented others from enjoying music. Maybe in another five years I will look back at myself again and think that “five years ago I was a complete idiot” - who knows? One thing I know for sure: I certainly won’t make any of the mistakes described below, which I sincerely wish you too, dude.
1. Don't come drunk
This is what schoolchildren do when they don't earn their own living. They beg their parents for money for a ticket, and what they get for pocket money, they don’t spend a whole two weeks to buy a half a cheap cocktail and get drunk right before the concert. You came, you don’t remember anything, and besides, you’re already drunk.
If you want to drink, you will drink already inside. If you don’t want to, it’s even better: you will more adequately assess the sound, repertoire and skill of the musicians. And in general, it is a pity to consider any event that goes beyond the usual working days as a reason to get drunk.
2. Buy your tickets in advance
There is nothing worse than dancing in front of a club in the cold, tapping your feet against each other, and expecting someone to sell an extra ticket. Even if the tickets still remain at the box office, it will still be unpleasant for you to buy them in a crush, crush, kilometer-long queue, and even with extra charges. Going to a concert not sure if you will get there is not a great pleasure.
Ticket must be purchased in advance. First, in most cases it is cheaper. Secondly, this way you will definitely get inside and hear the same music. Thirdly, a ticket in your pocket gives you a sense of calm and certainty, and this, as they say in everyone's favorite advertising, is priceless.
3. Don't yell
All those "Ooo" and "Aaaa" are for 16-year-old girls. I understand that at the concert everyone is happy and excited, everyone is looking forward to the long-awaited miracle. There will be an opportune moment to yell: when the vocalist says: “Hi, Kryzhopol!”, talks about the tour and introduces the members of the group. Then God himself ordered to yell. But is every little thing worth it for you to tear your lungs and my eardrums?
For example, if a vocalist asks, “Does anyone else in this room like to eat?” that's not a reason for you to yell in my ear. Eating is great, I love it myself, but you didn't win the lottery.
4. Don't pretend that you are a light music player
We all know how the concert is built: songs from the last album, old hits, improvised losses (if you're lucky) and a slow jam so that people don't go crazy with excitement and tension. At this time, everyone relaxes, take a breath, look around and stock up on strength for the next familiar track. The older you get, the more you appreciate these moments.
What do dudes that hurt to look at do? They are dancing. Is always. In any incomprehensible situation - and always the same. Fast music is playing - they are dancing. Slow music is playing - they are dancing in the same way. It even seems to me that they are dancing, even when the radio is turned on in the bus. Even when the funeral march is playing. Even when the bride and groom go to register the marriage. And always this person performs the same awkward movements, as if he does not know our recommendations.
Don't do that. You don't have to dance.