How does dance communicate

Communication & Expression – Staying Connected Through Dance – The Dance Ability Movement

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My name is Mara and I am an occupational therapy student from the University of Toronto! For the past eight weeks, I have been working with Mallory and Jade along with three other students to complete our third fieldwork placement. I was ecstatic when I learned I had been matched with the Dance Ability Movement! Dance has always played a big part in my life. I was involved in various dance classes at a young age ranging from ballet to hip-hop and everything in between! I was a competitive dancer for about 12 years and continued dancing all throughout my undergraduate degree at McMaster University on their competitive team. Additionally, I have had various opportunities to work with special populations and kiddos with exceptionalities!

Throughout all of these experiences as well as during my time with The Dance Ability Movement (DAM), I realized how special dance could be especially with respect to communication and connection. Dance can be used as a vehicle for expression. It can help tell a story, convey feelings and emotions, and connect with others and with ourselves. Body movement can be expressive and communicative. It can be used as a means of self-expression where words are not necessary – the body does all the talking! Slow movement can convey feelings of sadness or melancholy whereas sharp, explosive movements can express strength and joy. For me, dance has always been a way to communicate things that I couldn’t verbalize and helped me express myself in a creative and personal way.

I have also learned that there are many parallels between dance and verbal communication. For instance, dance steps can be seen as words and stringing them into a sequence may work as a sentence. The composition of these sequences will reflect how thoughts were composed and the quality of movement may reflect the tone of voice. For individuals who are non-verbal, dance can be used as a tool to express themselves freely. Instead of using words, dancers are able to use movement to share what they are thinking and how they are feeling. No words necessary! Dance can help to tell a story and convey emotions, thoughts and feelings ultimately helping dancers to communicate in a way that is meaningful to them.

In conjunction with communication, dance is also a means to create connections. In class, dancers engage in the same movements, dance to the same song and share the same space ultimately bringing them together as they participate in the same activity. Dance class is also a place where friendships blossom as dancers create connections with other dancers, volunteers and teachers. This environment helps to create a sense of belonging, where dancers feel like they are a part of a community and feel as though they can be themselves!

At the beginning of May, mom’s and maternal figures from across the studios came together (…or on screen) to celebrate Mother’s Day by joining virtual classes and dancing up a storm with their kid(s) to the song Mom by Meghan Trainor. As soon as the moms joined their child on the “dance floor”, the dancer’s faces lit up! With this upbeat, easy to dance song that spoke to just how awesome moms are, moms and dancers were able to let loose and have fun dancing, cultivating joy for the dancer and their moms! Many were smiling from ear to ear as they danced side by side in the middle of their living rooms! What a wonderful way for the dancers to communicate their feelings and gratitude towards their moms through dance!

Here are some wonderful feedback Jade and Mal received from two moms that participated in the Mother’s Day video:

“Thank you very much, Mallory and Jade! Steph and I did enjoy dancing together. Nice to have this keepsake” – Len

“This is awesome. Had me smiling ear to ear! Thanks for this. Best Mother’s Day present ever! You are all the best!” – Elaine

Through these unprecedented times, the Dance Ability Movement (DAM) sought out an opportunity for parents to come together and share the art of Dance with their child as well as the rest of the dancers in class, creating a beautiful sense of connectedness among the DAM community.

DAM’s weekly virtual Dance classes have helped to create some sense of normalcy these past couple months. For some, it has helped to create a routine, a scheduled time to engage in movement and an outlet to release some silly energy. For others, it has been an opportunity to interact with their dance teacher and class peers, a chance to “see” their friends and to still feel connected to their dance community. Whatever the reason for joining, The DAM team has brought the DAM community together virtually, positively contributing to each individual’s mental health. It is truly inspirational to witness the strength and resiliency of the DAM community coming together to support one and other through dance.

As a student OT, I have come to learn that dance provides the opportunity for individuals to create connections and express one’s self, proving to be an extremely valuable occupation for children. It has been such an incredible experience watching these concepts that I have learned in class comes to life within the DAM program through their occupational services and outstanding team of teachers and volunteers!

As we continue to live through this unique time, let’s remember that dance will always be there to support us, help us communicate things that cannot be verbalized and help us stay connected to one another.

Stay well. Stay safe. Stay connected.

And remember…Keep Dancing Like Nobody’s Watching!

*Important Disclaimer: stories are shared with the intention of promoting an inclusive society and increasing knowledge and awareness of our community. Views expressed are not representative of all participants and may not be indicative of your potential experiences.

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The Power of Dancing it Out

Dance is a powerful and compelling communication technique that humans have used since we came into being, and it lives on in our modern world in a wide variety of forms. We use it to celebrate, mourn, emote, connect, communicate, and express. Whether you're dancing it out in the privacy of your own home, tuning in for a special event presented by a local ballet company, or getting ready to watch Dance Dreams: Hot Chocolate Nutcracker on Netflix, dance has the power to impact our lives well past the end of the performance.

It’s a powerful tool that can connect us both deeply to ourselves and to our fellow humans regardless of whether we're in the theater or tuning in remotely.

Dance as a universal tool for communication

Dance has been around since humans began living in groups. In 2006, Steven Mithen wrote a book entitled, The Singing Neanderthals: The Origins of Music, Language Mind and Body, that argues that the evolution of music, and eventually dance, has had a significant impact on the development of our language and communication abilities. He also published a study in the genetics journal for the Public Library of Science that argued that dance was elemental to our survival because it offered us a way to bond and communicate, especially during difficult times.

Scientists believe that early humans with coordination and rhythm had an evolutionary advantage.

Dance through the ages has continued to offer a way for humans to connect, too. Robert Battle is the Artistic Director at the famed Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater in New York. He says that dance, even today is simply a part of our human DNA. "I think it's no coincidence that all cultures have a form of dance passed down — a form of movement that comes from it serving a function in society, not just entertainment. I think there is something in there that is kind of a part of us, a part of our history and our makeup," Battle says.

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Celia Fushille, the Artistic Director at the Smuin Contemporary Ballet in San Francisco, echoes Battle’s thoughts.

"For millennia, dance has been a non-verbal form of communication and expression. It's a form of movement using symbolic gestures. It's such a natural expression," she says.

Dance as a tool for celebration and resistance

Dance has always been used to communicate deep feelings — whether sad or happy. Most recently, thousands of people took to the street to celebrate Biden’s presidential win all over the nation. Both those who study the cultural significance of dance and those who perform believe that dancing has a far wider reach than just a communication tool.

"There's been a record of dance over the last 9,000 years or more. It's what makes us human. We can have this form of communication and movement that is planned even though it may be improvised, just like when people ran into the streets after the election," Fushille says.

Battle echoes a similar sentiment. "There's the question of what came first — was it sound or movement? Well, you have to open your mouth to make a sound, so movement came before sound. Dance is not just what you see on the stage, it's what happens when people dance at church or in a club. It's everywhere, and it's all spiritual for me, regardless of where it happens. It releases all kinds of things in the brain that we haven't even really begun to understand," he says.

Dance can also be a tool for resistance. As Chris Smith, a professor, chair of musicology and founding director of the Vernacular Music Center at Texas Tech University wrote in this Washington Post story, "These dance celebrations — the most recent and visible manifestation of years of in-the-trenches organizing, registration and activism — are not a new feature in American life and politics. They are part of a centuries-long history of marginalized groups using street dance as a revolutionary and celebratory tactic...At various moments throughout U.S. history, those disenfranchised from the corridors of power have taken to the streets, using movement and noise as emblems of resistance. The streets, in turn, have become a battleground in which contests between enclosure and access, control and freedom and assent and dissent have played out."

Suzanne Martin is the lead physical therapist and wellness consultant at Smuin Ballet, and she says that the urge to dance when faced with overwhelming emotions is, in fact, biologically coded.

A group celebrates President-Elect Joe Biden’s win in Washington, D.C.

Samuel Corum//Getty Images

"In celebratory times, dance offers a way to express joy. Any person who gets a jolt of joy makes involuntary movements and vocalizations. It's hard to say where that originated, but I think that cultures figured out this early on, and it was a way to share news throughout a group," she says.

What happens to our brains when we dance?

As humans, we have all experienced the uncontrollable urge to dance, tap our toes or our fingers in response to great music that literally moves our body — but why does that happen? Martin says that it's really just down to our biology.

"Repetitive motion will create endorphins, but in dance, there are several systems that offer a double hit, if you will. One is that dance works with the reward center in our brains (which, Martin notes, is also responsible for addiction). The other part is that pleasure is reinforced because we coordinate our bodies with music. That happens a lot in other centers of the brain that give auditory stimulus pleasure. It gets coordinated with physical movement, and that gives a double hit in the cerebellum. You have a positive experience and want to do it more," she says.

Dance is not just what you see on the stage, it's what happens when people dance at church or in a club, it's everywhere, and it's all spiritual for me, regardless of where it happens.

It’s no secret that movement is also beneficial for stress management as well — but it has a wide variety of other benefits, too. A 21-year study published in 2003 in the New England Journal of Medicine showed that dancing helped people 75 years of age and older stay mentally sharp well into their golden years. The study showed that frequent dancing protected older adults from developing dementia.

Dancing can also help slow down aging and boost your memory. Dancers use marking to remember choreography, and in marking, they create new neural pathways, helping them remember cues and develop more neuroplasticity, which can decline with age. This 2013 study published by the Association for Psychological Science noted that marking improved muscle memory indicates that dancers are continually building new neural pathways.

As Martin notes, "Dance, especially elite level dancing, is more of a mind game than a physical one. You have to become and have such command over your internal processes to get into the zone, and that's when true artistry happens. So being able to access that through your interoception and coordinate that with your proprioception makes dance both internal and external for the dancer."

Dance in the era of Covid-19

Dance in the current pandemic has evolved to meet the needs of both dancers and audiences. Alvin Ailey has offered their entire season for free online and will offer Revelations, Ailey’s masterpiece that celebrates his African-American heritage, online starting on December 2. The company has also taken their dance classes online at the Ailey Extension too. Like Ailey, the Smuin Ballet offers everything from online classes, recorded performances, and safe, real-life events in the San Francisco area.

While coronavirus has made many classes and events more accessible for those who can't travel to major dance centers like New York or San Francisco, it has had a significant impact on the dance community.

Dancing it out has incredible mental health benefits.

Artur Debat//Getty Images

"Dance is such a social experience," Battle says. "You can kind of reinvent the notion of being in a live performance no matter how wonderful the videos are or the filming is. All of that stuff that happens, you can't duplicate in the virtual world, and that hits our bottom line. Our whole virtual season is free, but I hope this whole experience makes us all appreciate when we are back and able to be in close proximity, the value of having moments together. I hope there will be a greater appreciation for coming together and dancing together that we neglected and took for granted in a lot of ways prior to the pandemic."

"The pandemic has been a lot like having a coronary blockage," Fushille says. "At the same time, that blood has to flow, and it will find a way. It's the same thing with our art and our creation. Dancers have to dance, and they will. One of my dancers was quoted as saying that the art has never stopped, and that's very true. We are finding these new ways to share our form of expression, and it's been so well received."

Whether you are a regular dancer or just a weekend dance-in-your-living-room type, just the movement of dancing can offer a ton of benefits if you do it consistently. It can help stave off depression, give you mental focus and clarity, and strengthen your body. It can connect you to a community both in real life and online, and it can simply help you express things that you may not have the words to communicate.

"You can't call yourself a healthy person if you don't also feed the soul," Battle says. "Dance offers more than just a kind of need to be entertained, which is wonderful, but it offers a way to be inspired. Dancing in and of itself is cloaked with hope because movement says that I am alive, I resist being stationary, I resist going down, I am going to keep moving."

Abigail Bassett is an Emmy-winning journalist, writer and producer who covers wellness, tech, business, cars, travel, art and food. Abigail spent more than 10 years as a senior producer at CNN. She’s currently a freelance writer and yoga teacher in Los Angeles. You can find her on Twitter at @abigailbassett.

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Dancing: communication, entertainment or treatment?

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There are many different ways to express yourself through art. Someone writes poetry, someone writes prose, someone draws pictures, and someone sings. What if the Creator didn't reward you with special talents? Do not lose faith and try again to find them in yourself. With the help of... dance.

History of dance and dance therapy

Even before a person learned to talk and communicate with his own kind using speech and words, his assistant in this complex matter was ... his own body. In those glorious prehistoric times, the means of communication between our Dances: communication, entertainment or treatment? the progenitors were dance, human movements. Moreover, with the help of dance, the hunters asked for good luck from the pagan gods, they marked rich prey with dances, they even escorted their dead tribesmen on their last journey with dances. The dance was used by people, including as part of religious rituals and public holidays. Very receptive to the harmony of soul and body, the early Greeks turned the art of dancing into a system expressing various passions. Aristotle equated dance with poetry and argued that dancers, thanks to body movements in a certain rhythm, can convey manners, passions and actions. Gradually, the dance acquired the character of secular entertainment. Very little time will pass (only a few centuries) and everyone will begin to feel the need for dance, regardless of status, age and gender. In the Middle Ages and later, both kings and courtiers danced - after communicating with kings, and peasants - resting after hard work. Such social unity will then be destroyed only by ... the achievements of our modern civilization.

Unfortunately, in modern society there is an opinion that dance is an elite art form, an activity that is inaccessible to ordinary people. Some of us seriously discuss the point of view "only professionals should do dancing." As a result, people prefer to watch beautiful dances at concert venues or on TV screens. Since modern dances, especially ballet, are very difficult to perform, few people are ready to take this occupation as seriously as they take the choice of a profession, for example. To enroll in a choreographic school and practice dance professionally all your life? This is not for me! the majority will say. Meanwhile, dance classes are useful! And not only as a means for self-expression, but also as a way to "treat" many mental illnesses.

Dancing - what is it? Psychotherapy!

The famous dancer Isadora Duncan considered the main thing in the dance not the technique of performance, but its emotional component. After all, our body actually always expresses what we experience in life, how we build relationships with ourselves, with people around us and the world. The whole personality is involved in the dance - both the body, and the intellect, and the soul. After all, the body, psyche and mind are a single whole. It's no secret - looking at how a person moves, you can understand what problems he has in life. In psychology, it is generally accepted that there is a relationship between the emotional state of a person, his mental experiences and bodily illnesses (somatics), and vice versa - bodily clamps can affect the emotional state. It happens that a person realizes this only after removing the clamp, physically feeling the difference "before" and "after".

The arrival of dance in psychotherapeutic practice is associated with Marian Chase. Some of the students in her dance studio were patients of psychotherapists. Psychotherapists have noticed that positive changes are happening with their patients, and found that Chace's studio sessions contributed to this. Soon they themselves began to refer their patients to this studio, and Marian shifted her focus from the direct study of dance technique to the expression of the individuality of the individual through movement, studying the relationship of body movements with emotional problems. At 1946 Marian Chase was invited to work in one of the world's first humanistically oriented psychiatric clinics - St. Elizabeth Hospital in Washington.

Dance therapy in detail

All dance therapists adhere to the thesis in their practice that psychological and physiological processes are interconnected, that dance is not only and not so much a technique, but an expression of the deepest essence of the human soul.

Our body does not know how to lie, it always shows us as we are. Often a person is frightened by the discovery of this knowledge about himself, a person is afraid to recognize something in himself, he denies something. Gradually, contact with our own body is lost, and at some point it can be found that our knowledge of ourselves is fragmentary, partial, and there is no holistic idea of ourselves. The dance involves not only the conscious side of the personality, but also the unconscious. So, using dance as a psychotherapeutic tool, you can strengthen either one or another aspect of the personality, coming to their natural harmony. If a person cannot control his emotions, is captured by them, a mental breakdown is not excluded. With the help of an ordered rhythm of movements, set in space and time, a dance therapist helps a person to strengthen his conscious side, teaches him to control both his body and his emotions. It also happens the other way around, a person controls himself too much, every gesture, every movement. In this case, the task of a specialist is to help activate creativity, spontaneity of movement, to teach to listen to one's inner impulses.

How do muscle clamps appear?

The life of modern man is full of stress and worries. Our ancestors reacted to all external stimuli with action, and immediately. The prey runs away - you need to catch up, the enemy attacks - you need to defend yourself. All emotions and experiences resulted in muscular actions. As before, any irritation leads to the release of "hormones of action", for example, adrenaline, into the blood. But modern society leaves a certain imprint on the behavior of the individual, decisive actions are no longer approved. As a result, the release of hormones occurs, but muscle implementation does not, although the muscles tense up, ready for action. There remains a muscle clamp, at first insignificant and quickly passing. But if stimuli act constantly and there is no constant discharge of muscle tension, then over time this very tension accumulates. There is a persistent clamping of a certain muscle group.

What are muscle clamps?

Each person has his own problems that cause muscles to tense up. Someone has more tense back muscles, someone has neck muscles. According to the theory of dance therapists, different muscle clamps speak of different internal problems of a person.

Stoop and flatness of posture - sometimes it can be an indicator that a person is trying to take on an unbearable burden of worries and obligations, or cannot solve some problem on his own, or even just waiting for this problem. As if carrying a very heavy bag.

The appearance of symptoms of radiculitis is also possible in a completely healthy person in this regard. Radiculitis pains appear when the back muscles tense asymmetrically (for example, if a load is carried in one hand for a long time). Then a large muscle distortion occurs in the lumbar region, which causes pain. In psychology, it is generally accepted that the right side of the human body denotes social actions (with the right hand we write, work, etc. ), and the left side symbolizes personal, intimate reactions and thoughts (and the heart on the left side ...). And if a person “raises with his right hand” unbearable problems at work or in business for a long time, he develops muscle tension on the right side of his back. Or if he has to “drag with his left hand” difficulties in bed or in the family, then the clamp on the left side of the back gradually accumulates. This is how radiculitis pains appear.

Clamping of the neck muscles - the tension of the collar zone often gives out some kind of material tension, the presence of a material burden or an unjustified dependent sitting on this neck.

Clamping of the abdominal muscles - in Russian there is another meaning of the word "stomach" - "life". Muscle tension in the abdomen betrays a person's fear for his physical well-being, the expectation of a threat to his own life.

A head pulled into the shoulders indicates that a person is limited in his social growth "from above", as if he lives in a room with a very low ceiling.

Tension of the anterior surface of the thigh - indicates that a person once broke off relations with someone very difficult, parting was painful and caused unpleasant emotions, including the desire to "give a kick". It is clear that a cultured person will not allow himself this, and therefore cannot understand where this tension comes from.

Clamp in the buttocks area - an indicator of the expectation of punishment from the side. This comes from childhood, when a child could be spanked for some offense, a kind of conditioned reflex to punishment is developed. At the same time, this is a very intimate area, and besides, it is unprotected, because covering it with your hands in which case is considered indecent.

Muscles can tense to varying degrees and in various combinations, creating a very complex mosaic and forming a kind of body language - or rather, the language of the unconscious. In addition, the reaction to certain problems is individual for everyone, therefore, when working with muscle clamps, it is necessary to find out in a conversation an individual reaction, features of perception.

Dance - just what the doctor ordered

Any dance, even a waltz, even a lambada, even rock and roll, is a powerful weapon against complexes, stress, black thoughts and feelings of loneliness. The part of the motor cortex that is responsible for our motor activity is located close to the structures that control our feelings. Changes in the motor cortex give rise to changes in feelings. Athletes, after a successful workout, have a feeling of so-called "muscle joy" ... When we dance, we release "hormones of joy" - endorphins. They drive out sadness and longing.

Any pair dancing can be a good way to deal with family conflicts and quarrels. Dancing in pairs, partners get a feeling of unity with each other, joint movement. Choose a dance according to your temperament and mood. It can be a slow and smooth classical waltz, incendiary Latin American dances, or a languid and passionate tango. Sometimes a movement, a gesture, a look in a pair dance can tell a partner more than a lot of words.

Group dances affect the human psyche even more, thanks to a special sense of "team". The general mood is so strong that it can infect anyone and get out of the worst mood and depression. Group dancing is especially good for women who have problems in their personal lives. It is not for nothing that in the culture of every nation there is practically such a dance as a round dance. And it was danced most often by unmarried girls looking for a mate. But in order to feel the spirit of a group dance, it is not necessary to go to the village and organize a round dance there.

Modern fitness centers offer a wide range of different group dance classes, this can be the so-called "belly dance" - or Belly dance. It has become very popular lately. Only positive emotions - beautiful bright costumes, incendiary music, and unlike Western dances, this one is based almost exclusively on muscle work. It has a good effect on the spine, back muscles and abdomen. At the same time, active movements of the hips form a beautiful waist. Or dance aerobics is aimed not only at body shaping, but also at general recovery and toning, fast rhythmic movements strengthen the cardiovascular system, develop plasticity and grace. Step aerobics - helps to develop joints and form the arch of the foot, develops coordination and balance, the vestibular apparatus, trains the heart.

Whatever dance you choose, maybe you just want to move rhythmically to the music at home, in any case it will be good for your body and soul, much better than just watching dances on TV.

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Communication in the language of dance - New Style0004

Do you know what is the hardest thing about dancing? It's start dancing. Everything else (too difficult, no partner, no experience) are just excuses. And for those who do not agree with this and mentally throw tomatoes at the author, I will tell you how, recently, dancing, which I have never done, has become an integral part of my life. And I will share the secret of how to light up with a stranger as if you have long been a dancing couple.

It all started when, while walking around Barcelona, I saw young people dancing salsa, while every now and then the partners changed among themselves, continuing to move very harmoniously. It was fascinating, but the apogee for me was the moment when the music ended and the guy said to the girl: “Thank you, it was nice to meet you.” That is, they met for the first time, and they danced as if they were given a number! How is this possible?

– Salsa, bachata, kizomba are social dances, later the trainer of the Social Dance Orsk project explained to me. - Here the partners constantly alternate, this is a prerequisite, so even if someone came alone, he will still dance in pairs. Every man must learn to lead any girl, and every girl must learn to follow the lead of any man.

This was the secret of those Spanish dancers - in the competent management of partners and unconditional following of partners. So, dear ladies, you can only be feminists outside the dance floor, otherwise no dance will work.

“Give me some weight so I can lead you,” the coach instructs. - Pounce on me. Wow. And now turn off the bulldozer mode...

When you first start dancing, this mode turns on automatically. Or nothing turns on at all, and all thoughts are only about which foot to step where. Once it got to the point that, returning home from class, I hung for a second before getting out of the car, thinking which foot to take a step into the street, and in my head the voice of the coach sounded: “One, two, three ... Five, six, seven". But after a while, when I had already learned to feel my partner, keep the frame and balance, the "bulldozer" was replaced by lightness. Although, to be honest, sometimes I still hear the phrase from the coach: “Tanya, stop playing tank”.

A special feature of social dances is that it is not a jagged sequence of figures, but a continuous improvisation, for which the partner is responsible. The girl does not know which element he wants to perform, so she must be ready for anything. And in this uncertainty there is a special pleasure. It's like participating in a win-win lottery: you know for sure that you will receive a prize, but you have no idea which one. Only in order for the “dance lottery” to turn out to be truly win-win, there must be a dialogue in a pair. And this conversation in the language of dance gives incredible emotions, erases boundaries and unites people around the world!

* * *

Alexander Kostenko, Moscow .

Top club Latin teacher, founder of the Universal Bachata Association, instructor of international and Russian festivals and master classes .

“Bachata is one of the many social dances that is based on being able to dance with anyone, even if you are seeing them for the first time. Bachata is native to the Dominican Republic.

The music for this dance is very romantic. It can be funny, perky, but always about love. As a rule, about unrequited love. I, like millions of people around the world, are close to these Latin American rhythms, they touch the soul. And I love bachata, first of all, for the music. In any dance, music is primary, because we dance to it. Plus, this dance allows you to disconnect from the real world, relax, rest, be alone with the partner with whom I am dancing at the moment.

Beautiful music, simple movements at the initial stage, communication in the circle of a large number of positive people - this is waiting for everyone who starts dancing bachata, which is gaining more and more popularity in the world.

* * *

Adonis Santiago, Moscow.

Dance show artist and choreographer, coach.

“Salsa is a Cuban dance that was born on the street. Before him, there were many other dances, many different styles that changed over time, the evolution of the dance took place. And the result is modern salsa. In Cuba, this dance is called casino.

Originally danced in Cuban streets and parties, salsa is now becoming popular internationally, with more and more people around the world interested in it.

Since I was born and raised in Cuba, salsa is my native dance. When I do it, I feel free. Salsa opens up a new world, changes your life, your state… Yes, and it is elementary good for health. You can find a lot of new friends at dancing, and single people can meet their soul mate, so be sure to come to class and try your hand at salsa!”

A dance is a three-minute relationship. And everything is just like in life.

A good partner will always make his partner happy! For this, millions of figures, dizzying poses and a perfect fit into a complex musical rhythm are not needed at all. A good partner will simply make a woman feel secure. Soft, graceful, soaring, eye-catching.

A good partner always gives confidence to her partner. She makes him feel special. And the very thought that she feels good with him is a high reward! She does not expect him to support in the splits and somersaults in the air, she allows him to feel like a man, where he decides and leads, and she trusts and follows.