How to lab dance

How To Give A Lap Dance That Will Drive Your Man Crazy | Pleasure Mechanics

If you've ever fantasized about mesmerizing your man with a slow striptease before sex, rest assured you're not alone.

Wanting to tap into your inner diva and mastering the art of seduction to sexy music is totally natural (not to mention incredibly sexy).

Foreplay is not only just a fun part of initiating sex, but it can actually be an incredible time to bond you to your partner — and what better way than by turning your man on by learning how to give a lap dance with the sexiest movements your hips can offer?

Men enjoy lap dances — but there’s more to it than just watching as you gyrate and dance. It can also be an incredibly freeing moment for you as well, and make you feel sexy and confident before you even touch each other.

But lap dances can also seem a bit intimidating, and that’s okay!

Those of us who aren’t skilled in dancing or have never given a lap dance before might not know where to start. But once you’ve got a good place to begin, you can have an incredible amount of fun learning how to lap dance and showing off your best moves.

RELATED: 5 Tried-And-True Foreplay Tips To Tease And Tempt Him

If you want to get your man hot and bothered as a special occasion or even as a new form of foreplay before things really take off in the bedroom, then lap dances can be an intimately fun way to initiate sex.

We know a thing or two about how couples can improve their sex lives and become better lovers, and sharing something as passionate as a lap dance can certainly make for an interesting evening together.

Lap dances should last as long as you want them to, depending on your level of comfort, your playlist, and the overall mood. While the cost of a lap dance typically varies at certain venues, it's totally cool to give your boyfriend a lap dance. (And if you want to charge him, that's up to you.)

One of the most common questions you might have before you start is: “How can I give my man the best lap dance of his life without seeming like an amateur?” And if you’d like to know the answer to that, keep reading!

How to Give a Lap Dance Like a Total Pro


Treat the lap dance like it's a (sexy) special occasion.

Lap dancing isn't an everyday activity, but a seductive gift you can offer your man for special occasions.

These days, people automatically assume that erotic dance is only for strip clubs and music videos, but it's so much more than that.

Imagine your lover being completely spellbound by your every move, quivering with desire, ready to follow your every command. Learn to lap dance, and you'll gain tremendous erotic power and confidence.

2. Practice your lap dance moves.

Long before you give your man a lap dance, start dancing for your own pleasure. Find a few songs that you think are sexy and seductive and then practice dancing to them, enjoying the way the moves feel in your body.

Ditch the mirror and don't worry about what looks sexy. Focus on what feels sexy to you.

One of our golden rules is "get out of your head, get into your hips!" Women spend too much energy worrying about how they look, what their lover is thinking and if they are performing adequately enough.

Take all of that energy and focus on how you feel. Bring the focus of your attention down into your body and notice the sensations of pleasurable movement.

Start with your hips. Place your hands on your hips and sway your hips left and right. Notice how your whole body curves in response. Then thrust your hips forward and notice how your spine arches. All of these bends and curves are crazy sexy.

Have a little extra flesh? Use it to your advantage and accentuate your curves as you bend and sway with the music.

Firmly put your hands on the arms of the chair. Sway your hips from side to side.

Next, find a song that you love dancing to. You can choose a fast, booty-thumping song that makes you feel feisty and alive. Or you may prefer a sensual dance to a slow love song.

Find the songs that make you feel most alive, most erotically charged and most ready to seduce your lover. Then dance to the song over and over again until you are at ease, moving your hips and swaying to the rhythm.

You don't have to choreograph a whole routine, just find a few good moves that feel sexy to you. The more confidence you have, the more desire you will build in your audience of one!

RELATED: 9 Exotic Dancers Offer Sexy Tips For The Perfect Strip Tease

3. Get your space ready.

When you are ready to give your man a lap dance, take a few moments to prepare the space.

Clear the floor around your most comfortable chair. Imagine your man sitting in the chair, beaming at you with love and appreciation. Make sure you can walk all the way around the chair so you can dance in a 360-degree circle of seduction!

Dim the lights if you can or flood the room with candlelight. You may even want to buy colored light bulbs to create a new atmosphere. It doesn't take much to create the thrill of novelty!

Create an atmosphere that makes you feel sexy, seductive and in the mood to dance. As you prepare the space, start taking long deep breaths and get yourself in the zone.

4. Make sure your body and mind are in the zone.

What you wear for your lap-dancing performance is totally up to you.

You can go all out and dress up in your finest dress and high heels, go out on a date and give your lover a lap dance as dessert. Or you can hide gorgeous lingerie under casual clothes and surprise him on Sunday morning.

Make it your own. After all, a lap dance is an authentic expression of your sexuality!

You'll be getting very close and intimate with your lover, so take the time to take a long shower or bath and anoint yourself with a scent you love.

You'll feel more confident and relaxed if you take a few moments to tend to your body before you present yourself to your lover.

Set aside all worries about mundane life. Ditch your to-do lists. Mindfully step into the role of seductress.

Your only job for the next stretch of time is to feel so good in your body that you cast a spell, seducing your lover into your pleasure zone.

As much as you are giving a gift to your lover, you are also giving yourself the gift of a time to feel sexy, fully alive and sensually awake.

5. Build up the anticipation — it will drive him wild!

Don't tell your man what he has in store for him, but hint that you have something special to offer him. Let him wonder what's coming next.

Start your lap dance in whatever style you prefer. You can put the music on and strut your stuff.

Or just turn away, look over your shoulder as the song begins, wink at him and start to move. Whatever you do, commit fully.

Trust us, he is not going to evaluate your dance moves. He'll get excited at the opportunity to take in all of your beauty and will love the confidence in your body.

Don't worry about getting every move right and just let yourself have fun with it. Your own pleasure is the secret sauce that will make your lap dance the most memorable of his life.

So own your power, move for your own pleasure, and know that you are giving him the profound gift of watching your gorgeous body dance!


Ladies, strip tease it out.

Start far away from him, and time your approach with the song so the last few moves are right on his lap.

As you gain confidence, you can even create a playlist for a multi-song seduction, starting slow and working up to serious grinding on his lap. But to start, pick one sexy song and know that you have three to five minutes to give it your all.

From far away, make eye contact with him and slowly start moving into your dance. Then peel away one item of clothing at a time — or leave it all on! You can even combine striptease and lap dancing, and he will love it, no matter how nervous you are.

If it makes you feel more confident, leave all your clothes on and leave the undressing for later. Or strip down just to your lingerie. This is your expression, so do what makes you feel best.

As you move, slowly approach him and then back away. Then move around behind him, lightly stroking his hair and shoulders. Let him feel your breasts and hair graze the nape of his neck.

Then circle back around. Your goal is to tease him as much as possible, making him ache to touch you.

RELATED: I Learned How To Striptease For My Wife To Save My Marriage

7. Keep it simple.

You don't have to go crazy with your lap dance!

Once you have built up anticipation, start dancing closer to him. When you feel ready, let the climax of the lap dance begin.

Turn so you are facing away from him and slowly let your hips sink closer and closer to his lap. Whether he gets fully erect or not, remember that an erection is not a full measure of his arousal. So don't worry about how hard he is.

Here are four simple moves for once you are dancing in his lap:

1. Start by swaying your hips left and right.

This simple move is surprisingly powerful. Add a little dip by bending your knees as you sway.

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2. Lower your hips so they are just barely above his pants and then move your body in circles in time with the music.

3. Try a pelvic tilt by thrusting your hips forward and back.

Give your hips an extra push as you move back to make your booty bounce in a delicious way!

4. The fourth move you can try is a simple bounce squat.

Position yourself squarely above his lap and then squat quickly up and down, bouncing on his lap without ever making full contact. This move is a huge tease and turn-on. Play with speed; start with slow squats and then bring up the tempo until you are bouncing in the air, just above him.

Glance over your shoulder once in a while and make eye contact. He'll want to both look in your eyes and at your beautiful body — the desire to do both will be a delightful form of erotic tease!

8. Remember to finish the lap dance strong.

When you are ready to finish off as the song comes to an end, turn around so you are facing him, straddling one or both of his legs. Then do the same four moves: sway, thrust, circle and bounce.

Facing your lover means that your breasts (covered or not, they will still be a treat) will be at about face level. Use this to your advantage, and as you move your hips around his lap pay attention to all the delicious ways you can tease him.

When the song comes to an end, you have two choices. You can settle right into his lap and then let the charge take you into making out (and whatever other intimate activities you have on your mind!).

Or, you can get up and strut right out of the room, leaving him out of breath and dazzled by your presence. Remember, you are in charge!

9. Give your sexy self a pat on the back.

Choosing to give your lover a lap dance is a very powerful step toward more sexual confidence, in and out of the bedroom.

When you can accept the fact that you are gorgeous and a worthy object of his attention, you start to forget to care about the little imperfections and instead focus on the incredible pleasure your body can feel.

Lap dancing is a gift for both of you. Your lover gets the joy and arousal of watching you dance, and you get all of the pleasure of feeling like a powerful seductress.

Remember, start the journey by setting aside time to dance in private and bring your awareness to how much pleasure you can feel just by moving to one of your favorite songs.

Once you feel great and are ready to seduce your lover with a lap dance, follow the steps in this guide and you'll create a potent pleasure spell that is sure to transport you both.

RELATED: 14 Dirty Talk Phrases That Turn Men On

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The Pleasure Mechanics are a team of sex educators and touch experts dedicated to providing people around the world with the tools and strategies they need to experience maximum sexual pleasure. Their books and videos offer time-tested strategies based on human anatomy, psychology and an understanding of the social nature of human sexuality.

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How to Give a Lap Dance

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don’t have to be an amazing dancer to give someone a lap dance. Seriously. Even if you have zero coordination and can't hold a beat to save your life, lap dances have little to do with "skill" and more to do with confidence. (It's like the saying look good, feel good, do good.)

In other words, there's no right or wrong way to give someone a lap dance, so long as both parties are enjoying themselves.

That said, there are a few things you should know before diving head first into it. And luckily for you, we've tapped experts Jaclinne Cheng, CEO and founder of Spicy Lingerie, and Rori Gordon, owner of gentleman’s club Billy Deans Showtime Café to drop all the tea.

Here's what to do when you literally don’t know what to do. Enjoy!


The average lap dance should last at least two songs.

This would equal a total of six or so minutes, but obviously adjust this to your own preferences and add time as you see fit, says Gordon. If two songs seems excruciatingly long to you, remember that it's not. You can watch 6-7ish TikTok vids in that same amount of time, don’t let your anxiety win this one.


. Plan your song playlist ahead of time.

Just like you check your PowerPoint before giving a big presentation, make sure you have your music cued up and ready to go. Depending on what kind of vibe you're going for, picking from this playlist of sex songs may be ideal.

“A lap dance is supposed to be seductive, so choose songs that inspire your sexuality,” says Cheng. Her picks: “Climax” by Usher, “Girl With the One Eye” by Florence and The Machine, and “Naughty Girl” by Beyoncé.


Wear the right clothing.

You should put on anything that makes you feel extremely sexy, says Gordon. “I love lingerie, garters and thigh-high stockings with a long sheer gown,” she says. You can also pair your outfit with some slip-on heels since they accentuate the hell out of your body. Just make sure you walk around in the shoes beforehand to get used to them, suggests Gordon. No shoe is worth breaking an ankle over.

It's also important to layer your clothing, especially if you want the lap dance to lead to sex. This may involve stripping down as you give your partner a lap dance, which is like a super-sexy added bonus.

4. Do a quick lil stretch before.

“It’s important to stretch before you perform to prepare yourself for any extraneous movements,” says Cheng. There's no greater buzzkill than bending over your partner and killing your back in the process.

5. That said, please don't do anything your body can't handle.

If you can't do a somersault, it's probably not worth trying a backbend. Same goes for the splits. But if you are flexible, definitely show it off. Going for a backbend while sitting on your partner’s lap is definitely a crowd pleaser too, says Cheng.

6. Set the mood with dimmed lights and candles.

But don't make it too dark to which your partner can't see you. You might also want to play into a role-play fantasy if it's something you and your partner have discussed beforehand. Dress up as a nurse, devil, teacher, whatever—just make sure your setting resembles the theme at least a little bit too.

7. Make sure you have mastered some moves beforehand.

No need to plan a full-on dress rehearsal, but you should have an idea of what you want to do, how you want to touch yourself, how you want your partner to touch you, etc. before just going into it blindly. Here are some v common moves you can add to your routine:

  1. Stand between your partner's legs and lean your upper body forward with your back arched and your butt up in the air. This gives your partner a super-hot view of your body. Trust me.
  2. Turn around and hover your butt just above their crotch, moving your butt in circles like you're painting their lap with your cheeks. (Feel free to place your hands on their thighs or the arms of the chair for balance.)
  3. When in doubt, know your hottest seduction tool is your hips. So slowly start swaying your hips from side to side, and then move them in a figure eight to the beat of the music.
    1. 8. Choose your setting wisely.

      This can be in a bed, on the couch, on a chair, or wherever you’re most comfortable. Just make sure that with whatever setting you choose, you can switch between standing above your partner, sitting, and squatting easily and whenever you want.

      9. Think less about dancing and more about connecting with your partner.

      If you’re not a dancer, taking the pressure off of a lap dance can help. I don’t know any receiver who isn’t going to enjoy the view (the view being you, someone they’re already super into, stripping and undressing right before their eyes). I can promise you, the last thing they’re thinking about is how on-beat you are with the music.

      10. Have fun and be confident.

      “If you’re not having a good time, your partner will be able to tell, and it won't be an enjoyable experience for both of you,” says Cheng. Let loose and don't be afraid to move to the music in whatever way you want to. There's nothing you can do here that would be wrong or incorrect. Remember, so long as everything is consensual, it's literally impossible to fuck up a lap dance.

          Contemporary-laboratory - what is it? Interviews with teachers.

          Laboratory practices are gaining popularity, but still remain something new and not fully understood. We interviewed Maria Terekhova and Olga Beloglazova - contemporary teachers and leading laboratories - in order to understand what research classes are like.

          Maria Terekhova - teacher of contemporary dance, leader and participant of dance and movement laboratories, graduate of the IPPiP in the direction of "Creative dance and developmental movement".

          Maria Terekhova, dance studio Under Stand, Voronezh

          – What attracts you to laboratory activities in dance?
          – Laboratory activity is always a study, where you will always find something new: about yourself and your internal patterns that are broadcast through movement, and about enriching your dance vocabulary. Observation is a very cool thing, just learning the links, at some point you become a hostage to the same thing, and the laboratory is a great way to go beyond this. And the sweetest thing in laboratory practices is surprise, such an always unique result even with repetitive tasks, because all participants are unique, with their own mood, motor experience, and imagination.

          – What does laboratory practice give to a dancer and what does it give to a non-dancing person?
          - What gives a dancer - probably answered above, because I judge by myself. And if you don’t dance, everything is the same) + in general, getting to know this kind of work, feeling your physicality, it’s so interesting! We do not consist of one head that works at work and legs that move us from place to place. We are always the whole whole, and everything that is emotional inside of us can be expressed through movement, and how beautiful it will be.

          – Is the laboratory more important to you than technique or choreography, or are these things not comparable?
          – Oh, everything is important. It would be great to combine. These are different but complementary practices. The laboratory is always searching, observing, researching. Choreography is the aesthetic embodiment of the dancer's technique and bodily experience.

          – What inspires you to create laboratories? What inspires you within the process?
          - Personal need - both as a participant, and as a leader, and as a choreographer, for whom observations are important for performances like air. The request that has appeared inside begins to buzz about itself more and more clearly, at some point you understand - that's it, it's time to formalize desires into a process.

          Olga Beloglazova - contemporary-dance teacher, leader and participant of dance-movement laboratories, member of the Trinoga creative association.

          Olga Beloglazova, dance studio Under Stand, Voronezh

          – Why does the laboratory attract you to dance? Why research and not choreography or technique?
          – I am interested in all these aspects of dance, they do not exclude each other, but complement each other. Ideally, it is good to build up your technique, master choreography, develop bodily sensitivity in yourself and participate in laboratory processes.
          What is the value of the laboratory for me? Probably, first of all, that this is a space for creativity, research and experimentation.

          – Is there a common goal for all laboratories? Or does each new stream have its own meaning?
          - Each laboratory is a separate project with its own theme, goals, objectives and processes.

          – What do participants get from the lab process? Is the end result more important or the process itself?
          - About the participants, I would ask the participants, they can tell a lot of interesting things! It seems to me that the participants of the laboratory, first of all, open up, manifest themselves in the laboratory process through their dance. We improvise a lot, and even in a very narrow and specific task there is always room for creativity and our bodily and dance self-expression. There is definitely a place in the laboratory for personal research, personal interest and discovery.
          For me, both the process and the result are important, in general, the whole path that we go through together with the group. After the end of each laboratory, we always "harvest", celebrating and discussing both the final work and the process of its creation.

          – What inspires you to create laboratories? What inspires you within the process?
          – I am often led by music that deftly brings out intriguing themes and sentences from somewhere in the unconscious. But poetry also burst into the last laboratory. Inside the process, life inspires - as it happens in the hall. I love moments of absolute beauty - when I look at the group as if spellbound, enjoying the beauty of each member.

          Of course, it is impossible to fully understand the process that takes place in the hall - dance, movement - even from a thousand stories. But we hope that interviews with those who dance and conduct laboratories will help you to get acquainted with this type of dance.

          Author: Svetlana Vorobieva

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          Everyone can be trained! The founder of the dance laboratory about his wards | SOCIETY:People | SOCIETY

          Pavel Samoilov, a talented dancer and founder of the dance laboratory, has nothing to stop him from making people of different ages start dancing. His movements are precise and easy. He walks through life dancing. And he does it with all his heart.

          Born in childhood

          Ulyana Goncharova, AiF-Kirov: Pavel, tell us why you decided to connect your life with dancing? What were your first steps in your career?

          Pavel Samoilov: Passion for dancing began with my mother's initiative, she saw in me the desire for dancing even when I was little at my grandmother's, putting on records and dancing. From the age of 6 I began to study in the variety dance group "Rainbow", then ballroom dancing appeared in my life, which I really did not like. But my mother insisted on doing them. Now ballroom dancing is one of the favorite directions in dance.

          - How did you get the idea to create your own dance laboratory?

          - In 2007 I worked with other club dancers in one of the city's nightclubs. At first it was just a company of dancers who wanted to do some numbers. And when the idea arose to develop on a large scale, put on professional numbers, I officially registered the PASHA-2309 dance laboratory.

          - Why did you choose this name?

          - A person's attention is arranged in such a way that everything unusual catches him. In this case, these are directly the numbers that are in the title, so I decided to focus on them. Yes, and besides, the name turned out to be unique - there are hardly more than a few dancers in the world named Pavel, born on September 23rd.

          Dance laboratory students PASHA-2309 Photo: Pavel Samoilov's personal archive

          - Only those who are professionally connected with choreography visit it, or do you also take “mere mortals”? What drives those who come to practice?

          - We have both children from 4 years old, and, for example, we had one 70-year-old man, although his rather jealous wife later became against his hobby. There are older people even now - 40, 45, there are 55-year-olds.

          The motives of all students are different. Some want to get recognition, others want to try themselves on stage, others just want to do it for themselves. The main goal of the student should not be performances, but the dance itself. If a person comes only with the thought of the upcoming glory, he is not that doomed to failure, but, having achieved his goal, he can leave at any moment. You can not learn to dance, but already perform. Therefore, the student achieves the greatest success only when he wants to learn to hear the body, listen to music, work in a team, overcome his fears. If there is no goal, the person in the hall is not for long.

          Everyone is dancing!

          - I didn't imagine that "aged" students also study in your studio...

          - In general, the term "youth dances", in my opinion, is very stereotypical, it has no clear definition. There is just a dance - and that's it, dancing beautifully is possible for people of absolutely different ages, despite the style or audience of the dance.

          The biggest problem for a person is just to come to the hall. Many are afraid to take the first step, afraid of how they will be accepted, that everyone will look at them, that they will look funny in class. But most of the students in the gym have a goal - to develop themselves, so at first you, except for the coach, will not particularly interest anyone, no one will pay attention to you. Yes, the very first fear is the strongest, but it is overcome with the help of one lesson. It is enough just to come to the studio, and everything will fall into place.

          - What is your method of teaching dance?

          - My methodology... I think it's a kind of synthesis of methods and techniques that I know from psychology, pedagogy, choreography techniques and the experience of modern teachers. I often observe foreign teachers and analyze their "chips". Of course, some things may not be entirely suitable for Russia, so I try to combine the accumulated knowledge with modern methods and teaching techniques.

          - Every year you prepare a final concert. How is the preparation going? How do you choose numbers?

          - Not so long ago we held the tenth reporting concert. Tickets were sold out in half an hour - this is a kind of record. All our "reporters" are held in the form of a show, so that the viewer is interested and that the guys show what they have learned. The criteria for selecting numbers are different. Five choreographers make their own numbers, they can offer specific dancers if they see that a person lives by dancing, tries, works, because in dancing, as in any activity, it is impossible to get something if you don’t give something away. You want to be smiled at, smile first. If you want to learn how to dance, you must sweat in the hall, give your time, perseverance, and you will be rewarded.

          Reporting concert of the dance laboratory Photo: Pavel Samoilov's personal archive

          - How do you select music for your productions?

          - Dance music must be liked by all those who dance to it, although it is very difficult to find it in this way. But, if the teacher can “start” the group, arouse and keep interest, then in the end the song itself can really please all the dancers, even if initially someone didn’t like it. Music and movement should be one. But it can be the other way around - you can make such a choreography that will cause negative emotions and the composition, on the contrary, will cease to please.

          Each person has his own dance, his own style, his own preferences, so for each person the answer to this question will be different

          - Pavel, I can't help but note your excellent physical shape, how do you maintain it?

          - I used to not like my body, and I always wanted to look beautiful. Therefore, in addition to dancing, I work out in the gym. I like working on myself. At the same time, I note that my diet can by no means be called correct - I love sweets.

          - Now there are many styles and trends in dance, which one is yours?

          - Each person has his own dance, his own style, his own preferences, so for each person the answer to this question will be different. As for me, I like to dance almost all styles, I try to try myself in everyone, be it at least salsa, at least hip-hop, at least modern. I really want to learn how to tap dance, but due to lack of time, it is still difficult to do it. For me, dance is a way of life and a way of thinking. I direct myself to the world. It is also an opportunity to express your love for music. I believe that dance cannot exist without rhythm, however, nothing can exist without rhythm. The seasons are also rhythm... Since childhood, we have a sense of rhythm, if a person is deprived of this feeling, I believe that people simply cannot live.

          -What advice would you give to those who want to start dancing?

          - It's important to remember that it's never too late to start dancing! All these frames are only in my head. We live within these limits - “to marry so much”, “to finish college at so much” ... Many people do not live their own lives, listening to the opinions of others, and living life as is customary in society.

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