How to give someone a good lap dance

How to Give a Lap Dance

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don’t have to be an amazing dancer to give someone a lap dance. Seriously. Even if you have zero coordination and can't hold a beat to save your life, lap dances have little to do with "skill" and more to do with confidence. (It's like the saying look good, feel good, do good.)

In other words, there's no right or wrong way to give someone a lap dance, so long as both parties are enjoying themselves.

That said, there are a few things you should know before diving head first into it. And luckily for you, we've tapped experts Jaclinne Cheng, CEO and founder of Spicy Lingerie, and Rori Gordon, owner of gentleman’s club Billy Deans Showtime Café to drop all the tea.

Here's what to do when you literally don’t know what to do. Enjoy!


The average lap dance should last at least two songs.

This would equal a total of six or so minutes, but obviously adjust this to your own preferences and add time as you see fit, says Gordon. If two songs seems excruciatingly long to you, remember that it's not. You can watch 6-7ish TikTok vids in that same amount of time, don’t let your anxiety win this one.


. Plan your song playlist ahead of time.

Just like you check your PowerPoint before giving a big presentation, make sure you have your music cued up and ready to go. Depending on what kind of vibe you're going for, picking from this playlist of sex songs may be ideal.

“A lap dance is supposed to be seductive, so choose songs that inspire your sexuality,” says Cheng. Her picks: “Climax” by Usher, “Girl With the One Eye” by Florence and The Machine, and “Naughty Girl” by Beyoncé.


Wear the right clothing.

You should put on anything that makes you feel extremely sexy, says Gordon. “I love lingerie, garters and thigh-high stockings with a long sheer gown,” she says. You can also pair your outfit with some slip-on heels since they accentuate the hell out of your body. Just make sure you walk around in the shoes beforehand to get used to them, suggests Gordon. No shoe is worth breaking an ankle over.

It's also important to layer your clothing, especially if you want the lap dance to lead to sex. This may involve stripping down as you give your partner a lap dance, which is like a super-sexy added bonus.

4. Do a quick lil stretch before.

“It’s important to stretch before you perform to prepare yourself for any extraneous movements,” says Cheng. There's no greater buzzkill than bending over your partner and killing your back in the process.

5. That said, please don't do anything your body can't handle.

If you can't do a somersault, it's probably not worth trying a backbend. Same goes for the splits. But if you are flexible, definitely show it off. Going for a backbend while sitting on your partner’s lap is definitely a crowd pleaser too, says Cheng.

6. Set the mood with dimmed lights and candles.

But don't make it too dark to which your partner can't see you. You might also want to play into a role-play fantasy if it's something you and your partner have discussed beforehand. Dress up as a nurse, devil, teacher, whatever—just make sure your setting resembles the theme at least a little bit too.

7. Make sure you have mastered some moves beforehand.

No need to plan a full-on dress rehearsal, but you should have an idea of what you want to do, how you want to touch yourself, how you want your partner to touch you, etc. before just going into it blindly. Here are some v common moves you can add to your routine:

  1. Stand between your partner's legs and lean your upper body forward with your back arched and your butt up in the air. This gives your partner a super-hot view of your body. Trust me.
  2. Turn around and hover your butt just above their crotch, moving your butt in circles like you're painting their lap with your cheeks. (Feel free to place your hands on their thighs or the arms of the chair for balance.)
  3. When in doubt, know your hottest seduction tool is your hips. So slowly start swaying your hips from side to side, and then move them in a figure eight to the beat of the music.
    1. 8. Choose your setting wisely.

      This can be in a bed, on the couch, on a chair, or wherever you’re most comfortable. Just make sure that with whatever setting you choose, you can switch between standing above your partner, sitting, and squatting easily and whenever you want.

      9. Think less about dancing and more about connecting with your partner.

      If you’re not a dancer, taking the pressure off of a lap dance can help. I don’t know any receiver who isn’t going to enjoy the view (the view being you, someone they’re already super into, stripping and undressing right before their eyes). I can promise you, the last thing they’re thinking about is how on-beat you are with the music.

      10. Have fun and be confident.

      “If you’re not having a good time, your partner will be able to tell, and it won't be an enjoyable experience for both of you,” says Cheng. Let loose and don't be afraid to move to the music in whatever way you want to. There's nothing you can do here that would be wrong or incorrect. Remember, so long as everything is consensual, it's literally impossible to fuck up a lap dance.

          18 Secrets to Give a Sexy Lap Dance & Leave Your Man Wet In His Shorts

          Sometimes we need to pull out all the stops to make an impression. Learn how to give a lap dance and your man will certainly be very pleasantly surprised!

          Have you ever considered mastering the secrets behind knowing how to give a sexy lap dance? Most of us want to do our very best to please our partners. Of course, we expect them to do the same in return, but we want to feel that we’re doing all we can to make the relationship happy and harmonious.

          When it comes to life in the bedroom, that means thinking outside of the box and coming up with a few sizzling moves he’s never seen before. So how about you learn to give a lap dance to your man?

          You know he’d love it, and you KNOW you’d look sexy doing it!

          Of course, let’s get this truth out – You don’t have to do it because it’s your job to please your partner per see. We indulge in these crazy and hot antics mainly because it makes us happy to see them happy – about anything.

          We actually get joy out of doing whatever we can to please them. That’s why we’re always looking for new and interesting ways to spice things up in the bedroom, too. [Read: 20 sexy things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and why they don’t]

          Does the idea of learning how to give a lap dance make you embarrassed?

          Now, there’s one thing that stops most people from attempting lap dancing. Embarrassment.

          We assume that we look stupid, but do you know what? There’s no chance of looking stupid when you’re moving in that slow and sexy way, showing your man the very best of what you’ve got.

          He’ll be so taken with how amazing you look that he won’t even consider how you might be cringing on the inside.

          Lap dancing doesn’t make you sluttish, it makes you keen to do what you can to please your partner. It’s sexy, it’s sensual, and when done in the right way, it brings seriously explosive results your way!

          If you’re super-nervous, have a glass of wine beforehand *only one* or take some deep breaths. Wear the clothes that make you feel great and do some work on the lighting in the room.

          This will make sure that it shows you at your very best. By setting the scene to make you comfortable, you’ll be able to focus on your moves without worrying about how you look.

          When did the idea of sexy lap dances begin?

          When you think of a lap dance, it’s likely your mind is filled with images of a strip club with half-naked women grinding on perverted old businessmen. Right?

          Well, it’s likely that lap dances within a relationship could have been around for many years without anyone knowing, because it was in private! [Read: The girl’s guide to strip clubs and female strippers – What happens inside?]

          However, lap dancing in a club setting and being paid for it has been around since Medieval times. Women of lower classes would perform for men for a fee. Although prostitution was also linked to these types of establishments, it is where stripping and giving lap dances are most likely to have started.

          That doesn’t mean you can’t take the best of it and use it to show your partner a great time!

          How to give a lap dance and give him an unforgettable night

          Not all of us are magically blessed with the hips of Shakira. Some of us have to work extra hard in order to give a sexy lap dance that doesn’t make us look like an ungraceful fool and risk ruining the hot mood.

          [Read: How to strip tease – 19 sexy moves for newbies to undress like a stripper]

          There is a lot more strategy involved in a truly sexy lap dance than just being able to wiggle your hips to the thumping beat of a erotic song. If you want to know how to give a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget, you’ll need these tips.

          1. Build up the anticipation in his mind

          Giving your man a heads up that he’ll be experiencing something fun and sexy that night. It’s the perfect way to initiate his sexual anticipation.

          You don’t have to give him an exact itinerary for the night, but sending him naughty clues throughout the day should be enough to pique his curiosity. Even just a snapshot of a lace corner from your outfit would suffice.

          2. Set the mood

          You can’t give him a sexy lap dance without creating a hot and steamy atmosphere. You have to set the mood so the second he walks in the door he knows he’s in for a wild night.

          Keep the lights low, the music at a soft but audible decibel, and leave a single chair in an empty space so he realizes what he’s in for. [Read: How to grind for a guy sexily and discreetly and get him hard in seconds]

          3. Choose an outfit that makes you feel amazing

          You don’t have to go spend a ton of money on some lingerie that you feel weird and uncomfortable in. You should wear something that not only you feel sexy in, but something that he really loves seeing you in – and out of. You can even wear a sundress if that’s what he really likes!

          4. Practice your dominant attitude

          A sexy lap dance is all about power, and women hold all of the power during this sex act. So you have to become a dominant, in-charge woman.

          Pull him into the house, demand that he takes off his coat, and shove him onto the chair that you’ll be using for the dance. [Read: 17 femdom secrets to be a dominatrix mistress and dominate a man in bed]

          5. Before learning how to give a lap dance, work out your rules and set them down

          Since you’re now in charge, you get to make all the rules. If you don’t want him to make a peep throughout the whole thing, tell him that.

          If you don’t want him to touch you at all, then make sure he knows. And make sure he knows that if he breaks those rules, he’ll have to pay.

          This not only makes it fun for you, but he’ll also get riled up even more when he knows he can’t even so much as touch the amazing body that’s grinding all over him and luring him in. [Read: The sexy ways to tease your man and make him want to F you right there!]

          6. Relax a little beforehand

          If you haven’t ever given him a lap dance before and you’re more than a little nervous, have a drink! Hell, have two and a shot on top of that.

          Lap dances can only be successful if you’re relaxed and willing to have a good time. If you fear that your nerves will hinder that, then drink up. You’ll be feeling relaxed and ready to dance in no time!

          7. Pick some sexy music that gets your hips wiggling

          Add both sexy music, and music that you love dancing to. The goal of this is to ensure that you’re comfortable enough to let go and have fun.

          So throw on some mood music that you love, so your dance moves seem genuine and effortless. [Read: The absolute lovemaking playlist guide you need]

          8. Start slowly and build up

          You should start dancing while you’re still standing a couple of feet away from him. This means he can take in the whole view. Then slowly dance your way toward him with slow and seductive moves.

          9. Undress slowly and teasingly

          Don’t just rip all of your clothes off at once. The point of a proper lap dance is to slowly remove pieces of clothing in a way that makes him WISH he could rip them off.

          To do this, take off an item of clothing every couple of minutes, while never removing your eyes from his.

          10. Spend equal amounts of time on and off his lap

          This can be confusing since it is called a “lap” dance, but it works. Really great lap dances do a lot of teasing, and you want to make him crave actually having sitting on his lap.

          To do this, stand over him with your back to him. Give him some sexy visuals of your backside dancing before leaning back and touching his lap.

          Doing things like this will give him equal viewing time and touching time – two things that can work together to create a powerful lap dance he’ll never forget. [Read: 28 hot ways to be sexier for your boyfriend and make him lust for you]


          Gauge his reaction and change your tactics accordingly

          Some men prefer to have the lap dancer facing the other way so they can get a view of their booty. Others prefer to have a woman’s boobs right in their face.

          Make sure you’re gauging your man’s reactions and adjusting your body accordingly so he has the most pleasure. [Read: How to ride a man and look sexy doing it]

          12. Practice before you go for it

          To get more comfortable with your moves and finding the right pace for taking your clothes off, practice when you’re alone. You can even practice in front of a trusted friend and get some of their advice if you’re feeling really anxious about it.

          13. Make sure you choose a sturdy chair!

          There are many people who have tried giving their boyfriends a sexy lap dance only to end up breaking a chair or falling over in it! So you want to ensure the chair can hold the weight of both of you! [Read: Fun sex games to play with your boyfriend]


          Don’t push yourself too far – stick with what feels comfortable

          Don’t try belly dancing like Shakira if you really don’t have much mobility in your hips. Just do what you can to feel sexy. Don’t go overboard with the music, outfit, or dancing. Simple is always best when it comes to giving a sensual and sexy lap dance.

          15. Choose the right lighting

          No matter what time of day you’re attempting to learn how to give a lap dance, you need to choose the right lighting.

          Candles are perfect because they’re instantly sexy from the get-go. A full-on light could be enough to make you feel self-conscious – it’s harsh and if you feel uncomfortable you’re not going to enjoy it as much.

          However, candles and fairy lights give you that half-light that is super-flattering from the start! [Read: 24 sex room ideas to make any room look and feel sexy]

          16. Always work the hips

          Whilst there are no specific moves to remember when learning how to give a lap dance, it’s normally all in the hips.

          By circling your hips, jiggling them up and down, moving them back and forth, and basically doing anything in a slow manner when it comes to this part of your body, you’ll get the trick just right.

          The hips are a super-sexy part of the female body. This is probably because they’re directly connected to the butt!

          If you want to move your shoulders in line with your hips, a little like a belly dancer, go for it. Yet, usually moving your hips means moving your butt and that’s a good place to start.

          17. Cut out the distractions when learning how to give a lap dance

          It goes without saying that you shouldn’t choose a time when you’re going to be distracted or when one of you has to be somewhere. Your lap dance doesn’t need to have a time limit on it.

          Make sure that he leaves his phone in another room and yours is turned off. If one of you needs to go somewhere, that’s the wrong time and you need to reschedule! The likelihood of your lap dance turning into something else is very high, so bear that in mind. [Read: 16 sex tips for women to make sex so much more exciting]

          18. Remember to have fun!

          Don’t think so much about your insecurities! Giving a lap dance is supposed to be fun. If you’re having a good time, then it is guaranteed that your lover is going to have an amazing time, too. So relax and just have fun with it!

          There are no rules to learning how to give a lap dance

          The bottom line is that you can’t do anything wrong when you learn how to give a lap dance. All you need to do is move your body, remove your clothes *or just wiggle in sexy ones if you prefer*, and drive him crazy. The very fact that you’re willing to do this for him is likely to be enough to start with. [Read: How to spice up the bedroom – 22 tips to set the bed on fire]

          There are no rules. You don’t have to turn your back to him, you don’t have to face him, you don’t need to follow any guidelines, you just go with what feels good to you.

          Watch his reaction and if he looks like he’s excited, push it a little further. He’s not going to be bored, so you don’t have any worries there.

          If you want to, practice in the mirror beforehand but know that the very fact you’re willing to wiggle your hips just for him, will be enough to drive him crazy.

          [Read: 24 minxy secrets to turn your boyfriend on and leave your man hard and horny]

          Giving your man a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget is one of the best ways to get the night moving in the right direction. And these tips on how to give a lap dance the right way will ensure you look amazing, and he’ll remember the night for a long time to come.

          Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

          Strip plastic training for beginners in Moscow

          Get rid of stiffness and tightness, wake up your sensuality and plasticity! Striptease classes for beginners
          Development of flexibility and femininity
          Excellent physical activity without boring fitness
          Online lessons in a group of up to 10 people and individual convenient
          you hall Moscow
          Lessons in groups of up to 6 people in a hall 10 minutes from metro station Ulitsa 1905 Goda
          Private dance staging for him

          Become a student of our school and receive individual guidance from top teachers in Moscow!

          I want to try!

          Get to know us! Watch the video of our teachers and students

          Each of our teachers puts their heart into revealing the potential of students
          Our teaching system is perfect for adult girls who have never danced
          You can choose any teacher as an individual tutor

          Clip of Yulia in the style of High Heels & strip plastic

          Performance of Yulia at the competition in the style of strip plastic

          Clip with Alexandra's MK

          Alexandra's clip with the students of our school

          Why should you pay attention to this style?

          Increasing flexibility, revealing femininity, increasing self-esteem and self-confidence - all this is a strip of plastic

          Strip plastic or strip dance is the most sensual and feminine direction of all types of dance!

          Distinctive features of this style are a large number of elements in the stalls (on the floor), tight-fitting and rather open costume, seductive movements. But don't confuse it with striptease! The strip is inherently deeper.

          This direction will teach you to accept and love your body, to move in such a way that it drives HIM crazy, but without vulgarity. You will feel confident and attractive.

          Increasing flexibility and keeping fit will be a nice bonus, because the physical activity in the strip is very worthy!

          Why girls from all over the world choose strip plastic lessons at Ladies Dance&Mind

          Not only girls from Moscow, but also girls from the CIS countries, the EU and the USA are trained with us!

          Groups up to 6 people in the hall, up to 10 people online

          Attentive feedback and technique correction. You can always ask a question and get a detailed analysis of the movements. In the online format, you get real-time video feedback.

          High-quality and thoughtful modular teaching system

          Lessons are built in logical blocks, the material is given from simple to complex. Dance links are taught in blocks, that is, the same link is gradually and carefully analyzed several lessons in a row.

          Professional teachers with more than 10 years of experience, winners of national and international dance competitions

          Learning from an experienced teacher is much easier and more effective than from a beginner. Our teachers not only dance at the highest level, but also know how to explain the movements in such a way that even those who have never danced can do it.

          Taking care of your health. Teachers apply knowledge from the field of fitness, as well as knowledge of anatomy and physiology.

          Each of our teachers is not only a dancer, but also has either an education in the field of fitness or personal sports experience. This allows you to make the lesson program as safe as possible so that dancing strengthens your health.

          A toned body as a result of excellent physical activity

          More than 90% of the students after a trial lesson of strip plastic surgery report that they are satisfied with the level of physical activity: high, but not exhausting. The back, abdominal muscles and arms are strengthened.

          Increasing flexibility and plasticity

          After 3 months, students who practice 2 times a week rise to such a level of plasticity that they can already act in clips with simple choreographic performances and enjoy how they look on video

          Unique system individual mentoring

          Ladies Dance&Mind students can choose their favorite teacher as a mentor. The mentor helps to formulate personal goals and choose the best way to achieve, and also supports on the way. You can always ask for feedback or advice from a teacher in a convenient messenger and get individual recommendations in order to move towards your goal as quickly as possible!

          Answers to frequently asked questions about strip lessons at the Ladies Dance&Mind school

          Find the answer to your question here!


          Who are our classes for?


          For all girls who want to relax, develop sensuality, learn how to move beautifully, form a beautiful and flexible body. Level of training - any!


          What does a strip plastic lesson consist of?


          1) warm-up with elements of strength and functional training to strengthen the necessary muscles, stretching elements for performing stunt elements
          2) working out the basic elements of strip dance
          3) learning dance sequences and strip dances


          How much do classes cost?


          You can find the full price list here


          Where and when are classes held?


          Group lessons - in a spacious hall 10 minutes walk from metro station Ulitsa 1905 Goda, as well as online on the ZOOM platform. The current schedule is here.

          Individual - we rent a hall in a place convenient for you, at a convenient time for you (by agreement with the teacher), individual lessons are also possible online.


          What should I wear to class?


          Comfortable sportswear that does not restrict movement, socks, heels at will. For the execution of parterre elements, knee pads are required.


          I dream of doing a lap dance for him, but I'm a beginner. Is it possible?


          Of course! Girls who regularly attend group classes at our school learn dance and, if desired, participate in the filming of the video solo or in a group. If you're worried that you won't be able to dance live, then you can give him a video of your dance!

          If you want to quickly stage a private dance for him, taking into account all your wishes - we have a dance staging service, the cost is from 7000 rubles, depending on the number of individual lessons.

          Feedback from our students about the lessons of strip plastics

          Our teachers strip plastics

          Learn from professionals!

          Aleksandra Mironova

          Teacher of the Ladies Dance&Mind dance school in strip, latina solo, stretching, yoga. Professional artist and dancer, choreographer, dance teacher with more than 10 years of experience.

          Alexandra is a master of staging bright dance numbers, an attentive and at the same time demanding teacher. Works with both beginners and those who continue their journey in dance.

          Here is a partial list of Alexandra's victories at prestigious dance competitions and festivals:

          • silver medalist of international festivals: Scarab 2012, Oasis dance 2013, Magic ORTO 2013
          • silver medalist of the Cappuccino Cup 2015, Hot Winter ORTO in the nominations Lady1 ORTO, 2 Style1 nominations
          • gold medalist of the Cappuccino Festival 2017 in the EXOTIC DANCE nomination.
          • silver medalist, audience award - the international festival "Live Lights" (St. Petersburg, 2013) - Fire show
          • title "Miss Living Lights" St. Petersburg, 2015

          Alexandra: "I see creativity as my main mission. Creating a fairy tale, bringing beauty and joy to people is the highest happiness for me! If you have any creative idea - put dance for your loved one, stir up a crazy flash mob, creatively cut a T-shirt ... - I will help you to realize it with joy and enthusiasm!"

          Yulia Tsvetkova

          Dance teacher at the Ladies Dance&Mind dance school in the direction of strip plastic. Author of an online course on high heels. Dance experience over 10 years. Creator of his own dance team and winner of All-Russian competitions.

          Julia - winner and prize -winner of prestigious dance competitions:

          • Fame Your Choreo,
          • Project 818 and other less well -known competitions

          and Julia:

          • , participant in the top -end creative groups of Moscow
          • team SK FAM
          • led her team to the winners of the AMF Dance Festival in 2020, as well as the winners of other dance competitions
          • took part in the filming of clips and performances with show business stars.

          It is interesting that Yulia is not limited to strip plastic and develops in different styles from high heels to hip-hop and regularly attends classes of the world's top choreographers.

          "Delicate or daring, so different, but definitely sensual and graceful - these are my performances! In my lessons you will develop femininity and plasticity. We will go through the basics of strip plasticity, dance technique in heels while standing and on the floor in the stalls, acrobatic elements

          P.S. Heels are desirable but not required."

          Sign up for a trial lesson!

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          Questions about striptease - The Perch Street Clubs in Moscow

          What is a lap dance in a club?

          Lap dance is a service provided by the artist (dancer) of the club, waiter or bartender. This service lasts 5 minutes. During promotions and promotions, the duration of the dance changes.

          During a private dance, the girl is completely naked, she dances only for you. The dance happens with you in contact. The purpose of a private dance is aesthetic pleasure or getting a state of excitement.

          Sexual contact, masturbation, exposure of one's penis, palpation of the girl's genitals are not allowed. Any other contact is possible only by mutual agreement.

          If the guest does not comply with the rules of the private dance, it will be completed and must be paid at its cost.

          What is a promo or promotion?

          Promotions are promotions for private dances. In our striptease club you can get them in different versions. The most popular is 2 private dances for the price of one. You pay for 1 melody, the second one you get as a gift. Each subsequent melody after the promotion will go at its full cost.

          What is a feature in a strip club?

          The chip is the local currency of the club, which you can exchange at any convenient time during your visit. Chips are used to pay for private dances or other crazy menu items. When buying 10 club chips at once, you get 2 chips as a gift.

          What are gatherings?

          During the work of a strip club, each artist must perform on its stage, dance private dances for guests who invite her and participate in the show program of the club. If you have a desire for the girl to spend time only with you, then you can use the service - gatherings (there are various options in the crazy menu section). When acquiring this position, a gathering for an hour, the girl will be with you all this time, and you will also receive 2 private dances as a gift.

          I am 18 years old, will the club let me in?

          Yes, they will let you through. Take your passport or driver's license.

          Visiting an institution of an erotic nature is possible for persons who have reached the age of 18.

          What kind of music is played in the club?

          Music styles and trends are quite diverse, mainly modern music, commercial, commercial pop-music, Euro-pop, R&B, remixes of various compositions.

          Learn more