How to be a good lap dancer
How To Give A Lap Dance That Will Drive Your Man Crazy | Pleasure Mechanics
If you've ever fantasized about mesmerizing your man with a slow striptease before sex, rest assured you're not alone.
Wanting to tap into your inner diva and mastering the art of seduction to sexy music is totally natural (not to mention incredibly sexy).
Foreplay is not only just a fun part of initiating sex, but it can actually be an incredible time to bond you to your partner — and what better way than by turning your man on by learning how to give a lap dance with the sexiest movements your hips can offer?
Men enjoy lap dances — but there’s more to it than just watching as you gyrate and dance. It can also be an incredibly freeing moment for you as well, and make you feel sexy and confident before you even touch each other.
But lap dances can also seem a bit intimidating, and that’s okay!
Those of us who aren’t skilled in dancing or have never given a lap dance before might not know where to start. But once you’ve got a good place to begin, you can have an incredible amount of fun learning how to lap dance and showing off your best moves.
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If you want to get your man hot and bothered as a special occasion or even as a new form of foreplay before things really take off in the bedroom, then lap dances can be an intimately fun way to initiate sex.
We know a thing or two about how couples can improve their sex lives and become better lovers, and sharing something as passionate as a lap dance can certainly make for an interesting evening together.
Lap dances should last as long as you want them to, depending on your level of comfort, your playlist, and the overall mood. While the cost of a lap dance typically varies at certain venues, it's totally cool to give your boyfriend a lap dance. (And if you want to charge him, that's up to you.)
One of the most common questions you might have before you start is: “How can I give my man the best lap dance of his life without seeming like an amateur?” And if you’d like to know the answer to that, keep reading!
How to Give a Lap Dance Like a Total Pro
1.Treat the lap dance like it's a (sexy) special occasion.
Lap dancing isn't an everyday activity, but a seductive gift you can offer your man for special occasions.
These days, people automatically assume that erotic dance is only for strip clubs and music videos, but it's so much more than that.
Imagine your lover being completely spellbound by your every move, quivering with desire, ready to follow your every command. Learn to lap dance, and you'll gain tremendous erotic power and confidence.
2. Practice your lap dance moves.
Long before you give your man a lap dance, start dancing for your own pleasure. Find a few songs that you think are sexy and seductive and then practice dancing to them, enjoying the way the moves feel in your body.
Ditch the mirror and don't worry about what looks sexy. Focus on what feels sexy to you.
One of our golden rules is "get out of your head, get into your hips!" Women spend too much energy worrying about how they look, what their lover is thinking and if they are performing adequately enough.
Take all of that energy and focus on how you feel. Bring the focus of your attention down into your body and notice the sensations of pleasurable movement.
Start with your hips. Place your hands on your hips and sway your hips left and right. Notice how your whole body curves in response. Then thrust your hips forward and notice how your spine arches. All of these bends and curves are crazy sexy.
Have a little extra flesh? Use it to your advantage and accentuate your curves as you bend and sway with the music.
Firmly put your hands on the arms of the chair. Sway your hips from side to side.
Next, find a song that you love dancing to. You can choose a fast, booty-thumping song that makes you feel feisty and alive. Or you may prefer a sensual dance to a slow love song.
Find the songs that make you feel most alive, most erotically charged and most ready to seduce your lover. Then dance to the song over and over again until you are at ease, moving your hips and swaying to the rhythm.
You don't have to choreograph a whole routine, just find a few good moves that feel sexy to you. The more confidence you have, the more desire you will build in your audience of one!
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3. Get your space ready.
When you are ready to give your man a lap dance, take a few moments to prepare the space.
Clear the floor around your most comfortable chair. Imagine your man sitting in the chair, beaming at you with love and appreciation. Make sure you can walk all the way around the chair so you can dance in a 360-degree circle of seduction!
Dim the lights if you can or flood the room with candlelight. You may even want to buy colored light bulbs to create a new atmosphere. It doesn't take much to create the thrill of novelty!
Create an atmosphere that makes you feel sexy, seductive and in the mood to dance. As you prepare the space, start taking long deep breaths and get yourself in the zone.
4. Make sure your body and mind are in the zone.
What you wear for your lap-dancing performance is totally up to you.
You can go all out and dress up in your finest dress and high heels, go out on a date and give your lover a lap dance as dessert. Or you can hide gorgeous lingerie under casual clothes and surprise him on Sunday morning.
Make it your own. After all, a lap dance is an authentic expression of your sexuality!
You'll be getting very close and intimate with your lover, so take the time to take a long shower or bath and anoint yourself with a scent you love.
You'll feel more confident and relaxed if you take a few moments to tend to your body before you present yourself to your lover.
Set aside all worries about mundane life. Ditch your to-do lists. Mindfully step into the role of seductress.
Your only job for the next stretch of time is to feel so good in your body that you cast a spell, seducing your lover into your pleasure zone.
As much as you are giving a gift to your lover, you are also giving yourself the gift of a time to feel sexy, fully alive and sensually awake.5. Build up the anticipation — it will drive him wild!
Don't tell your man what he has in store for him, but hint that you have something special to offer him. Let him wonder what's coming next.
Start your lap dance in whatever style you prefer. You can put the music on and strut your stuff.
Or just turn away, look over your shoulder as the song begins, wink at him and start to move. Whatever you do, commit fully.
Trust us, he is not going to evaluate your dance moves. He'll get excited at the opportunity to take in all of your beauty and will love the confidence in your body.
Don't worry about getting every move right and just let yourself have fun with it. Your own pleasure is the secret sauce that will make your lap dance the most memorable of his life.
So own your power, move for your own pleasure, and know that you are giving him the profound gift of watching your gorgeous body dance!
6.Ladies, strip tease it out.
Start far away from him, and time your approach with the song so the last few moves are right on his lap.
As you gain confidence, you can even create a playlist for a multi-song seduction, starting slow and working up to serious grinding on his lap. But to start, pick one sexy song and know that you have three to five minutes to give it your all.
From far away, make eye contact with him and slowly start moving into your dance. Then peel away one item of clothing at a time — or leave it all on! You can even combine striptease and lap dancing, and he will love it, no matter how nervous you are.
If it makes you feel more confident, leave all your clothes on and leave the undressing for later. Or strip down just to your lingerie. This is your expression, so do what makes you feel best.
As you move, slowly approach him and then back away. Then move around behind him, lightly stroking his hair and shoulders. Let him feel your breasts and hair graze the nape of his neck.
Then circle back around. Your goal is to tease him as much as possible, making him ache to touch you.
RELATED: I Learned How To Striptease For My Wife To Save My Marriage
7. Keep it simple.
You don't have to go crazy with your lap dance!
Once you have built up anticipation, start dancing closer to him. When you feel ready, let the climax of the lap dance begin.
Turn so you are facing away from him and slowly let your hips sink closer and closer to his lap. Whether he gets fully erect or not, remember that an erection is not a full measure of his arousal. So don't worry about how hard he is.
Here are four simple moves for once you are dancing in his lap:
1. Start by swaying your hips left and right.
This simple move is surprisingly powerful. Add a little dip by bending your knees as you sway.
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2. Lower your hips so they are just barely above his pants and then move your body in circles in time with the music.
3. Try a pelvic tilt by thrusting your hips forward and back.
Give your hips an extra push as you move back to make your booty bounce in a delicious way!
4. The fourth move you can try is a simple bounce squat.
Position yourself squarely above his lap and then squat quickly up and down, bouncing on his lap without ever making full contact. This move is a huge tease and turn-on. Play with speed; start with slow squats and then bring up the tempo until you are bouncing in the air, just above him.
Glance over your shoulder once in a while and make eye contact. He'll want to both look in your eyes and at your beautiful body — the desire to do both will be a delightful form of erotic tease!
8. Remember to finish the lap dance strong.
When you are ready to finish off as the song comes to an end, turn around so you are facing him, straddling one or both of his legs. Then do the same four moves: sway, thrust, circle and bounce.
Facing your lover means that your breasts (covered or not, they will still be a treat) will be at about face level. Use this to your advantage, and as you move your hips around his lap pay attention to all the delicious ways you can tease him.
When the song comes to an end, you have two choices. You can settle right into his lap and then let the charge take you into making out (and whatever other intimate activities you have on your mind!).
Or, you can get up and strut right out of the room, leaving him out of breath and dazzled by your presence. Remember, you are in charge!
9. Give your sexy self a pat on the back.
Choosing to give your lover a lap dance is a very powerful step toward more sexual confidence, in and out of the bedroom.
When you can accept the fact that you are gorgeous and a worthy object of his attention, you start to forget to care about the little imperfections and instead focus on the incredible pleasure your body can feel.
Lap dancing is a gift for both of you. Your lover gets the joy and arousal of watching you dance, and you get all of the pleasure of feeling like a powerful seductress.
Remember, start the journey by setting aside time to dance in private and bring your awareness to how much pleasure you can feel just by moving to one of your favorite songs.
Once you feel great and are ready to seduce your lover with a lap dance, follow the steps in this guide and you'll create a potent pleasure spell that is sure to transport you both.
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The Pleasure Mechanics are a team of sex educators and touch experts dedicated to providing people around the world with the tools and strategies they need to experience maximum sexual pleasure. Their books and videos offer time-tested strategies based on human anatomy, psychology and an understanding of the social nature of human sexuality.
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How to Give a Lap Dance
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don’t have to be an amazing dancer to give someone a lap dance. Seriously. Even if you have zero coordination and can't hold a beat to save your life, lap dances have little to do with "skill" and more to do with confidence. (It's like the saying look good, feel good, do good.)
In other words, there's no right or wrong way to give someone a lap dance, so long as both parties are enjoying themselves.
That said, there are a few things you should know before diving head first into it. And luckily for you, we've tapped experts Jaclinne Cheng, CEO and founder of Spicy Lingerie, and Rori Gordon, owner of gentleman’s club Billy Deans Showtime Café to drop all the tea.
Here's what to do when you literally don’t know what to do. Enjoy!
1.The average lap dance should last at least two songs.
This would equal a total of six or so minutes, but obviously adjust this to your own preferences and add time as you see fit, says Gordon. If two songs seems excruciatingly long to you, remember that it's not. You can watch 6-7ish TikTok vids in that same amount of time, don’t let your anxiety win this one.
2. Plan your song playlist ahead of time.
Just like you check your PowerPoint before giving a big presentation, make sure you have your music cued up and ready to go. Depending on what kind of vibe you're going for, picking from this playlist of sex songs may be ideal.
“A lap dance is supposed to be seductive, so choose songs that inspire your sexuality,” says Cheng. Her picks: “Climax” by Usher, “Girl With the One Eye” by Florence and The Machine, and “Naughty Girl” by Beyoncé.
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3.Wear the right clothing.
You should put on anything that makes you feel extremely sexy, says Gordon. “I love lingerie, garters and thigh-high stockings with a long sheer gown,” she says. You can also pair your outfit with some slip-on heels since they accentuate the hell out of your body. Just make sure you walk around in the shoes beforehand to get used to them, suggests Gordon. No shoe is worth breaking an ankle over.
It's also important to layer your clothing, especially if you want the lap dance to lead to sex. This may involve stripping down as you give your partner a lap dance, which is like a super-sexy added bonus.4. Do a quick lil stretch before.
“It’s important to stretch before you perform to prepare yourself for any extraneous movements,” says Cheng. There's no greater buzzkill than bending over your partner and killing your back in the process.5. That said, please don't do anything your body can't handle.
If you can't do a somersault, it's probably not worth trying a backbend. Same goes for the splits. But if you are flexible, definitely show it off. Going for a backbend while sitting on your partner’s lap is definitely a crowd pleaser too, says Cheng.6. Set the mood with dimmed lights and candles.
But don't make it too dark to which your partner can't see you. You might also want to play into a role-play fantasy if it's something you and your partner have discussed beforehand. Dress up as a nurse, devil, teacher, whatever—just make sure your setting resembles the theme at least a little bit too.
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No need to plan a full-on dress rehearsal, but you should have an idea of what you want to do, how you want to touch yourself, how you want your partner to touch you, etc. before just going into it blindly. Here are some v common moves you can add to your routine:
- Stand between your partner's legs and lean your upper body forward with your back arched and your butt up in the air. This gives your partner a super-hot view of your body. Trust me.
- Turn around and hover your butt just above their crotch, moving your butt in circles like you're painting their lap with your cheeks. (Feel free to place your hands on their thighs or the arms of the chair for balance.)
- When in doubt, know your hottest seduction tool is your hips. So slowly start swaying your hips from side to side, and then move them in a figure eight to the beat of the music.
8. Choose your setting wisely.
This can be in a bed, on the couch, on a chair, or wherever you’re most comfortable. Just make sure that with whatever setting you choose, you can switch between standing above your partner, sitting, and squatting easily and whenever you want.9. Think less about dancing and more about connecting with your partner.
If you’re not a dancer, taking the pressure off of a lap dance can help. I don’t know any receiver who isn’t going to enjoy the view (the view being you, someone they’re already super into, stripping and undressing right before their eyes). I can promise you, the last thing they’re thinking about is how on-beat you are with the music.10. Have fun and be confident.
“If you’re not having a good time, your partner will be able to tell, and it won't be an enjoyable experience for both of you,” says Cheng. Let loose and don't be afraid to move to the music in whatever way you want to. There's nothing you can do here that would be wrong or incorrect. Remember, so long as everything is consensual, it's literally impossible to fuck up a lap dance.
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5 tips to help you make progress in dancing
Is it possible to quickly improve your dancing skills with a few simple and effective steps? Yes! Read our tips to improve your dance technique.
Whether you're a beginner or an experienced dancer, whether you're into ballet, modern jazz, hip hop, or any other style, these 5 tips will help you reach your peak.
Would you like to change your dance costume while keeping the same clothes? This can be done with a single accessory or piece of clothing - a favorite item that can be worn in many ways.
Depending on your style of dancing or how you feel at the moment, you can wear this piece however you want right now to give yourself a whole new look.
Your dancewear is part of your expression, so get creative by choosing an outfit that reflects your personality. Mix styles and develop your creativity.
What dancer has not had difficulty maintaining balance during the batman retreat or when performing a pirouette without a somersault?
To keep a good balance, remember this: when you move into a half-pointe position, automatically think about getting taller, as if someone is pulling you up. Press down on the ground with the foot that touches the floor to keep a firm footing. Also pay attention to the muscles of the core: tighten the stomach, imagining that the navel should touch the spine, and tighten the gluteal muscles.
Dancing is not always easy to gracefully express yourself and see your body moving smoothly and elegantly. However, viewers often pay attention to the upper half of the dancer's body. To become more graceful, try to move in a relaxed way and keep a natural expression on your face. No one should notice the slightest sign of effort in your eyes!
Free your head and let it move, don't tense up. Do not spread or close your fingers as if you are holding something. A good dancer should have "light" hands. Your fingers should be controlled but relaxed (imagine water dripping from your fingertips and focus on the sensation).
Watch how you hold your hand: from the shoulder blades to the very nails. Keep your elbow from "falling" by taking care to support your wrist. Good support and resistance will help you shape curves that are smooth and elegant!
Flexibility is not required in dance, but it remains a highly sought-after characteristic for many dancers nonetheless. If it is not an inborn trait, it can be developed gradually, with patience and care, taking into account the capabilities of your body.
To make your body more flexible, we recommend a special exercise - splits . It is recommended to perform it only under the supervision of trainer ! Find a trainer at All Do Sport to train efficiently and safely.
First, warm up for 10 minutes, alternating several basic exercises. Sit on the floor with your legs together in a butterfly position and do a few rolls on your back. Then warm up your legs with a few exercises, do a series of jumps and a few deep lunges, and move on to the next:
- Execution: lie on your back and put your feet on the wall. Use your hands to move as close to the wall as possible. Touch the wall with your buttocks. Straighten your legs up and stretch your toes, keeping your feet and knees together. Legs and buttocks should rest on the wall. Start slowly spreading your legs apart. Lower them down to the most extreme position. Fix this position and try to relax, allowing gravity to push your legs towards the floor. Lightly press your hands on your feet. Gradually open your legs wider and wider, stretching your muscles.
- Breathing: inhale deeply and exhale slowly throughout the exercise to relax and oxygenate your muscles. This will gradually help your body become more flexible.
- Safety tips: make sure you keep your buttocks firmly against the wall and your back against the floor throughout the exercise. Pull in your stomach and lower your legs as low as possible, but not with force!
Do this exercise once every 15 minutes.
If you are already flexible enough, put on ankle weights such as Gym Weight Domyos. They will increase muscle tension and add extra inches to your stretch!
Before the performance, it is important to take time for yourself and relax. Every dancer has their own set of tips for overcoming fear on stage. Do you want to know the proven way? Learn to relax through conscious and deep belly breathing.
Really deep breathing brings a sense of calm and awakens your mental powers. It also helps to better oxygenate your muscles. To feel good about your body and mind, do this relaxation exercise while preparing for the performance and on the day of the event itself:
- Sit with your back against a wall or lie on your back
- Breathe in through your nose, slowly and deeply
- Place one hand on your belly and exhale through your mouth (you can gently press on your belly with your hand)
- Then inhale through the nose, expanding only the belly (the belly should rise)
- Exhale slowly through your mouth. Your exhalation should be slower than your inhalation.
- Repeat the whole sequence three times
Now you know 5 secrets that will help you improve your dancing skills or just feel good in your body before going on stage. On the day of your performance, forget about everything else and focus on just one thing - the pleasure of dancing!
Life rules of a dancer - Simple magazine - LiveJournal
Robert Schumann's legacy in the music world is not only as one of the brightest representatives of German romanticism.
Being a subtle teacher, he left us a legacy of "Life Rules for Musicians". More than one generation of musicians has grown up on these simple and wise rules. There is simply nothing to add to them.
When I first started teaching classical dance, I really wanted, by analogy with Schumann's rules, to create rules for dancers that would help students develop in accordance with the high standards of ballet art.
This is what I got then:
Life rules of a dancer
2. If you want to dance every time you hear music, then you have the gift of a dancer - develop it.
3. When you learned to read, you first learned the alphabet, when a musician learns to play a musical instrument, he first learns the notes, so, in order to become a good dancer, you must first learn the alphabet of classical dance well. It will teach you how to move musically, coordinate your body and train it for complex movements.
4. Listen to good music - both the great masters of the past and modern rhythms. A good dancer should be able to dance everything. Do not forget the folklore heritage - these are the origins of any choreography.
5. Love and respect your teacher - he will teach you not only to dance beautifully, but also to think beautifully.
6. Never be late and don't miss classes - this is how you steal precious learning time from yourself.
7. Always come to class in a good mood, ready to accept new knowledge, be calm and focused, otherwise all the words of the teacher will pass you by.
8. Repeat at home what you learned in class, otherwise you will stand still.
9. Be respectful of the accompanist - he introduces you to music, the dancer's best friend.
10. Always be careful. Your rehearsal uniform is your first stage costume. Treat him with love.
11. Learn to be independent. You have to wash your own uniform, darn ballet shoes, do your hair every day, collect everything you need for the lesson.
12. A dancer has no days off, no holidays, because dance is life, and there can be no breaks in life.
13. Learn musical literacy - this will allow you to better understand music, and therefore dance more expressively.
14. Each time dance as if you were performing on stage in front of an audience or a great master is watching you. Never dance "in full," otherwise you will never get up on both.
15. If you don't succeed with a complex movement, don't despair - repeat the simpler movements one more time, the ones that make up your complex one.
16. Do not eat sweets, white bread, buns, cakes, etc. - no child will grow up healthy on such food, but eat more vegetables and fruits. Especially you need to eat cottage cheese, nuts and honey.
17. Don't be afraid of words: battement0082 DE Jamb PAR Terre , Arabesque , etc.; and they will welcome you kindly if you do the same for them.
18. It is necessary that not only the legs master the dance, you must also be able to dance "inside the head." Develop your imagination enough to be able to invent movements without dancing them.
19. When you dance, don't worry about who is watching you.