How to act during a lap dance

Strippers Explain 9 Strip Club Etiquette Rules

Walking into a strip club is a lot of pressure for the uninitiated. The workers offer a sexy service, but what do you do with your hands? What DON’T you do with your hands? To shed some light on the unwritten rules of interacting with strippers, and thus make the whole experience better for everybody, we went right to the source.

A couple months ago, photographer Amy Lombard and I spent nearly 24 hours in Show Palace, one of the only all-nude clubs in New York City. Although we spent the entire lifecycle of a mayfly there, we sensed that the stories we heard were only the tip of the iceberg. So we decided to go back to learn more from the strippers and the club manager about their job, their clients, and how to behave in a strip club.

Over the course of a lazy Sunday night (lazy because who goes to a strip club on Sunday?) we hung out in the dressing room with the dancers, who told us their best stories, advice, and tips from working in the industry. These are their words:

1. DON'T TRY TO HAVE SEX IN THE STRIP CLUB

A lot of guys get mad—they don't understand that I'm a dancer. I don't have sex for money, and some guys get very upset about that. They won't shut up. "Oh have sex with me, I'll give you money. I'll give you however much money you want." That's probably the most annoying thing.

A lot of the guys are from Asian countries, or they're Middle Easterners or South Americans. I think there might be cultural differences. Very often, in the clubs in those countries, if the woman is in the sex industry, she will have sex for money. There may not be a subset of women that only dance like there is here.

I don't know if they're serious or not, but I've had guys offer me like $1,000. And I'm like, Listen, I don't have sex for money. If you would just sit back and relax, you could enjoy your dance. It's very irritating. Men need to just try to understand the limits. Enjoy the club for what it is instead of wishing it was a brothel. — Jennifer

I had a girl in the private dance room. We have cameras, you know; we watch the private rooms. She was bent over and she broke the cardinal rule: Never let the guy stand up. So the guy was standing up pretending to like dry hump her from the back, and then he pulled his dick out like he was going to put it in and I was here watching the cameras and caught it. But she was scared. We immediately grabbed the guy and let him out (not so nicely). You can't violate the strippers. You cannot do that. — Mike Diaz, Manager

A guy will pull his dick out a couple times a week, usually in the private rooms. I just go, "You got to put that away," and some guys won't. So I just go, "I'm walking out if you don't put that away," and that tends to work. I think I've only had one guy I've had to walk out on in the six years I've been dancing. Most guys are good about it and do what you say. — Jennifer

2.

BE NICE, NOT CREEPY

I turned 18 on January 17. There was a 70-year-old guy here my first night. He was like, "Just don't give me a heart attack." I was like "Yeah, I'm going to try not to." There was another old guy—he was like 63. He was like, "I would so take you out on a date. Are your nipples pierced? I want to suck on your nipples and fuck the shit out of you right now." And I was just like, "What?!" I always end up with the weird ones. And then a lot of guys will tell me that I look like their little sister or something.

There's a guy who came in once. We went to a private room and he was like, "You're so beautiful." And as I'm dancing on him, he goes, "Oh my God, you remind me of my daughter, I'm going to tip you all night." I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. I stopped. I was like, "Excuse me." He was like, "Oh, I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out." I was like, "Oh… OK. I'm just going to proceed with what I'm doing." But after that there was this weird tension. He knew he fucked up. So, he just stayed quiet.

But today he brought me cupcakes! He said, "I was at my job, and I was thinking about how precious you are, and so I made you some cupcakes." — Asia

3. WEAR DEODORANT

I had this one guy who really stunk. He was a college boy. He didn't wear no deodorant. He was sweating nasty. He smelled like onions. I was in there an hour with him and I had to deal with that smell for so long. I kept, like, rubbing my nose trying to give little keys like, you need deodorant. It was horrible. — Asia

4. YOU'VE GOT TO PAY FOR FETISH PLAY

There was this guy who liked to smell butts. We go to a private room and he goes, "I got this freaky fetish. I'll give you a lot of money for it." I was like, "What is it?" And he was like, "I like to smell butts." At first I was kind of creeped out, but… what happens in the champagne room stays there. He just wanted [me] to bend over and catch a whiff. One whiff and that was enough. — Ruby

There was a guy who liked to dress up as a woman. He put on one of the dancer's clothes, G-string, everything. She let him wear them. Recently, on the day that they changed the law where homosexuals could get married everywhere, he walked around the club in a G-string and a dress and he got on the pole and started dancing. Everyone left him alone though. He had a lot of money—like a few thousand. — Paloma

5. Lap Dance Etiquette: Don't Come In Your Pants

I hate when guys come in their pants. It's nasty. You can just dance on them, like you're dancing on their lap, and they come. And it has gone through and soaked someone's pants before, and you'll feel it on the back of your leg, and you'll be like, "What is that?" And they'll look embarrassed and they'll tell you, "Oh, I just came." But I leave after that. It's not funny! Give me a warning sign so I won't sit in it!

Now that it's happened to me before, I'll tell them, "Listen. When I'm dancing you need to not do that. If you are going to come, please give me a warning so I can stop dancing." — Ruby

6. RESPECT THE DANCERS

Some guys come in with the wrong idea and they want to treat the dancers like garbage. I had a guy come in the other day, a well-dressed kid. He comes out of the cab and I was standing at the front. You know those guys who get overly familiar right away? He was like, "Hey, what's going the fuck on?" I'm like, "Kid, what are you talking about?" He's like, "You got fucking bitches in there?" I'm like, "All right, first of all, you come in here with that kind of attitude and I'm going to end up throwing you out. Second, you come in and talk to these girls like that, I'm going to throw you out. And you're not getting any refunds either." The guy looked flabbergasted. But you got to defend the girls before they even come in sometimes.

Some of these guys—they just look at them like they're nothing. Nothing. Some of these girls are mothers. Some of these girls are students. My ex-girlfriend, she became a world-class surgeon, but she started as a stripper. There's articles about her. — Mike

7. DON'T ASK STRIPPERS TO MARRY YOU

Of course I get the guys who want to marry me. They say I shouldn't be doing this job. It's a bad job and I should go marry them. And it's almost always Indian guys. They say it's not good that I'm here; that I should be married.

I just tell them that I don't want to be married, and then they tell me that it's terrible that I want to be single. I should be home and having babies. And I'm like, "Nah, I like my independence." — Jennifer

8. BE COOL AND KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL

Sometimes, if you give a customer your number, they'll call like they're dating you. They have no chill. I'll block them and they'll call from other numbers. There was one I met that I liked. He liked the fact that I was very nice, but he got on my nerves because he talked a lot, but he was spending a lot of money. The first time I danced with him, I got $1,200 from him. I gave him my number the second time I saw him. But once he couldn't get in contact with me, he was actually coming to my job to find me. He tried to pull "I'm going to stop going to the club, we should hang out outside." He wanted pictures in his phone of us together like we were dating. — Paloma

"If I went out with everyone that asked me, I wouldn't have free time." –Jennifer

I get asked out five to ten times a night and I'm just like… I tell them they have to come back if they want to. They got to see me here a couple times first because otherwise how do I separate the good from the bad? I can't tell who you are in a half-hour. If there's a genuine chance I might want to see them again I tell them to come back and we'll see. I try to be pretty honest about it, and guys that I would never see outside I'm like, "Sorry, I don't see customers outside of work. " Plus, if I went out with everyone that asked me, I wouldn't have free time.

But I have a couple people that I've made friendships with inside the club and I see them sometimes. I used to have a customer who, on my birthday every year and at Christmas, would take me to a Broadway play and a nice dinner at one of the restaurants around Broadway. That was cool. — Jennifer

9. BUT IT'S OK TO MAKE A PERSONAL CONNECTION

The hour-long private rooms are always a lot of talking. You almost never dance for a straight hour. I have a bunch of customers who come in who just like to talk to me. I have guys who I don't even get undressed for. One of my best customers here is a French guy. He'll do like two hours with me and we mostly just talk. Guys love to confess to us things they wouldn't tell other people, like their sexual secrets. They like the affection. They like the attention.

Once or twice, someone has gotten emotional and started to tear up. I used to have this customer who would come see me. One time after he got some stuff out of his system, he told me about his life, his childhood—he teared up a little and was just like, "I had a really good time, that really relaxed me. Thank you."

Part of this job is practically being a therapist. It's funny, but as a dancer you don't make the most money because you're the prettiest. You make the most money because you can connect with people. I've seen gorgeous girls not make any money at all and girls who weren't traditionally good-looking do really well just because they knew how to talk. They knew how to connect with people basically. That's what they come here for. These men just want a connection. — Jennifer

Follow Zach Schwartz and Amy Lombard on Twitter.

Gentlemen's Club & Lap Dance Etiquette

If you’re a Gentlemen’s club first-timer, not knowing the unwritten rules of gentlemen’s club etiquette can leave you feeling more than a little confused. The good news is, figuring out how to act in a Gentlemen’s club is pretty straightforward, and just a few simple tips and help you make the most of a seriously sexy good time.

Here at Bucks, our first priority is making sure that all our guests have the time of their lives – but it’s also important that all our gorgeous dancers feel respected too. Keeping basic club and lap dance etiquette in mind will ensure that nothing comes between you and the ultimate Gentlemen’s club experience you’ve been dreaming of.

The Gentlemen’s Guide to Strip Club Etiquette

When you’re planning a visit to the Gentlemen’s club, whether it’s your first or five hundredth time, a little etiquette can go a long way. The dancers at Bucks love nothing more than showing guests a good time, especially those who treat them with respect. No matter if you’re grabbing a casual seat at a table or getting a one-on-one experience in a private room, be considerate towards all dancers and club staff – and you can bet that they’ll go above and beyond to provide excellent service in every way possible.

Treating yourself to a lap dance is one of life’s greatest pleasures, especially when it’s provided by a stunningly sexy, completely nude dancer. Here are a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to enjoying a lap dance like a pro:

Do stick with a friendly, positive attitude if you want to have a good time. Lap dances are intended to be a fun, sexy experience for the guest – but if you come in with an aggressive or overly cocky attitude, odds are that it will detract from your good time.
Do be generous with your tips. Be aware of the standard charge for a lap dance in your club of choice, and be sure to show appreciation for the sultry talents of the dancers. Keep in mind that the dancer is a working professional, and deserves to be treated as such.
Don’t try to grope, kiss, or grab the dancer – ever. As tempting as a beautiful dancer may be, laps dances are not an opportunity to get handsy. It is also, illegal in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex to touch the dancers. Admire visual but keep your hands to yourself is the golden rule.
Don’t take photos without permission. It’s not uncommon for guests to want to send their buddies a few photos of the great time they’re having, but it’s generally considered terrible etiquette to take photos of dancers – especially without asking first.
Don’t proposition the dancer for sex. Not only is it incredibly rude, but it’s also one of the fastest ways to get yourself kicked out of the club.

Plan a Sultry Night Out at Bucks

Now that you’re essentially a Gentlemen’s club professional, you’re primed and ready for a trip to Bucks. There are plenty of reasons we’re counted among the best Gentlemen’s clubs in Texas and beyond – our fully-nude dancers are the hottest, our specials are unbeatable, and our menu of food and drinks are sure to satisfy.

Visit your nearest Bucks for an adult entertainment experience unlike anything you’ve had before and discover why we’re one of the top-rated gentlemen’s clubs in the industry.

How to behave in strip clubs

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For some men, spending time in a strip club or gentlemen's club is perceived as a rite of passage. Whether you've never been in a club before or are a regular at a club, there are some things that strippers would like to know about before you walk through the next darkened door. The more you know about how to proceed and what to expect from other customers, strippers and bar staff, the better, safer, sexier and more fun your visit can be. And, yes, I'm speaking from experience: I've been a stripper for half a dozen years, from local dive bar to upscale New York gentlemen's clubs, so I offer these tips with the utmost respect to all involved. nine0003

1. Strippers are human

This should be taken for granted, but it is an important reminder that is needed. You see a stripper dancing on stage and you can look at her as an object of desire. Okay, strippers understand what you're here for: fantasy. Just be a gentleman and remember that she is human too. Treat her with the respect that she deserves and that you expect members of your own family to demand. Speak respectfully and be kind, and you will probably end up being treated very well. nine0003

2. Strippers work

Often clients seem to forget that exotic dancers work to make a living. While it's normal for you to feel flattered when a stripper sits with you between performances, remember that she expects you to tip her. Even if you just chat with her, enjoy her company and make friends, her time is valuable. Be careful not to forget that although she shows interest in you, more often than not it is professional. Strippers are expected to chat and flirt as part of the job and should receive tips from the clients they prefer to hang out with, even if you don't buy a lap dance from them. nine0003

3. Drinks are expensive for a reason.

Be prepared to pay more for a beer or cocktail and you won't be surprised. It's the same with the drinks you offer the stripper to buy. In fact, some clubs charge more for a drink you buy for a stripper or waitress because they get a cut of every drink you buy. The worst thing you can do is refuse to pay a woman for a drink when you know how much it costs. You pay not only for a drink, but also for the opportunity to spend time with a woman. But remember this last piece of advice and keep tipping the dancer more when she apologizes because the amount she gets for a drink is only a few dollars. nine0003

4. No one has time for your drunken stupidity.

Yes, you may be at a club celebrating your best friend's bachelor party or trying to impress a potential client, so you may drink too much. You may want to show off or look cool, in which case you may temporarily lose your normal chivalrous tone. Is not nobody got time for that. Strippers definitely don't want to deal with you being a jerk, and trust me, if you piss off the stripper, you'll most likely piss off the bouncer too. If you know you get stupid when you drink, then set a limit for yourself. You really don't want to end up on the floor or in jail for drinking. nine0003

5. Most strippers are not sex workers

Strippers have a bad reputation that has been built up through movies, TV shows and celebrity gossip. Keep in mind that these are just fairy tales. Not all strippers are sex workers. In fact, most strippers will not have sex with you for money. If you're going to a strip club hoping to bring home a dancer, your chances are slim. I'm just presenting it to you as it really is. I'm not saying none of them go home with their customers, but most of them don't. So, if this is your M.O., I recommend you tread carefully. If you ask a stripper if she will go on a date with you, be prepared for the answer to be no. And respect her. When she says no, don't hit on her. She said no; she means it. nine0003

6. Stay at home if you don't have money

Whatever you do, don't go to a strip club if you don't have money. Yes, some clubs will charge you cash for a credit card, but don't count on it. And don't go to a strip club unless you're willing to pay for the entertainment. There are names that strippers call customers who sit by the stage, watch them carefully and don't tip, but I can't say them in public. As tasteless as it is for you to sit in a bar and watch strippers from afar and not tip them, the worst thing you can do in a strip club is to sit right in front of the stage and not tip them. And just so you know, looking away when they're dancing right in front of you and thinking that means you don't have to pay them doesn't count. If you are sitting by the stage, you are participating in the entertainment. You are watching her and you need to tip her. Oh, and dollar bills are like 1970s. Inflation must mean something. Always give at least two or three dollars.

7. Don't sit right next to the stage if you're not going to watch

Based on the last piece of advice, it's silly to sit on the stage of a strip club and not look at the dancers. In the eyes of the dancers, it seems rude. It might even feel worse than watching and not tipping, if you can believe it. Going back to tip #1, strippers are people. Just imagine how you would feel standing half-naked on stage and women sitting in front of you looking somewhere else. I have even seen clients reading a book or a newspaper. Why sit on stage if you're not going to watch? It's the same if you're watching sports on the TV above the stage. Don't just sit there, watch the game and yell at the TV while the dancer wonders why you're not paying any attention to her. nine0003

8. Don't believe everything a stripper tells you.

Remember what I said about the work of strippers? When a stripper sits with you and you ask her questions about her boyfriend or her sex life, don't expect the answers she gives to be correct. Do you really want to know about her excellent sex life? Well, yes, I guess many of you probably do, but my point is that a stripper's job is to entertain you, engage you, and make you think you have a chance with her. She may make you think that she is single, when in fact she is not. Why did she do this to you? Especially after being so nice to her and tipping her? Strippers want to make as much money from you as possible. If the stripper is a good salesperson, she may try to convince you that you have a chance so that you give her a lot of money. nine0003

9. Strip clubs are fantastic

The owner of a strip club expects you to impress the women on stage. Managers want you to spend a lot of money on strippers because the more you spend on them, the more the club makes. While the strip club mimics the adult entertainment world of pornography, it's still not about selling sex. Strip clubs are about selling an opportunity or a fantasy about what you can imagine about strippers. It can be hard to remember when you're drinking or hanging out with friends and having a good time and then dating a stripper who really likes you. Just remember that the actual percentage of strippers who meet clients on a real date is negligible. I repeat, the strippers are at work. They are not meant to make a love connection, so put it out of your mind and just enjoy your fantasy. nine0003

10. Don't be offended by strippers who leave you.

I have seen far too many clients who get seriously offended if a stripper walks away from a conversation. If she thinks you're not going to tip her, she'll move on. Remember, she earns a living there. Also, if she is called on stage or taken to a lap dance by the manager, she must go. If you behave appropriately, her departure, most likely, has nothing to do with you. Don't be offended; Don't immediately think that she doesn't like you. nine0003

11. Don't try to save anyone

You can be in a club for a bachelor party, and not be the one who usually wants to be in a strip club. Please be respectful of the people who work there. It's possible to talk to a stripper to ask her about her life, but don't expect to hear a sob story. You don't know her, even if you think all strippers have the same backstory; it is not true. You do not know what she will choose to work in a strip club. Assuming that you know better or that you can save her from herself is a very sexist idea. She may love her job. She may have chosen this career and will be very happy with what she does, so please don't make any assumptions about her morals. nine0003

12. Don't ruin your girlfriend or wife

Often strippers end up being therapists for clients who have failed marriages or relationships. Just remember, a stripper (most often) does not have a psychological education. Chances are, she'll be happy to listen to you and agree with you because she thinks you're going to tip her. Please remember that strippers are women. If you walk in and start berating women in general, or even your girlfriend in particular, she won't find it funny - even if she laughs. Respect everyone. nine0003

13. Strippers have bad days too

Don't doubt your local stripper if she thinks she's in a bad mood. Never call a stripper a derogatory name. If she isn't smiling and is standing on stage shuffling from heel to heel, show some respect. She may have just had an argument with her boyfriend, or she may be having a disagreement with her manager. Whatever you do, don't tell her to smile. Don't tell her that she would be prettier if she looked happier. How would you feel if you had just had an argument with your boss and some woman came up to you and said why don't you smile? Just. No need. Make. This. nine0003

14. Have fun

After all this advice, I want to leave you something positive. When you go to a strip club, have fun. Don't take it too seriously. Don't get too stupid. If you treat everyone with respect and are willing to spend money, you will have a good time. And, you know, you can even make a stripper day. Give her a compliment. And I don't mean that you have the best stance I've ever seen. Yes, some people might take that as a compliment, but you might want to try a slightly cooler line than this. Basically, if you're good to the strippers, they'll be good to you - and everyone can go their own way home with a fun, fantastic night together. nine0003

How to behave in a strip club in Moscow? · Leisure in Moscow · Directory of Russian Companies

A visit to a strip club can be a fun way to spend an evening with friends. The dancers are beautiful, the atmosphere is fun, and the drinks often flow like water. If you are new to the strip club or have only been there a few times, this might seem like a wonderful experience. Be sure to arrange a safe way to get home if you decide to have a drink, and be polite and respectful to the dancers, bartenders, and security guards. Going to a strip club is fun, and if you follow the basic rules of conduct, you shouldn't have any problems. nine0003

The best strip club in the center of Moscow is Egoist http://egostrip. ru/ on Bolshaya Sadovaya 5. It is near the Smolenskaya metro station.

Order a drink at the bar at the entrance to the club. Drinks in strip clubs are often overpriced, but that's how the club makes some money. Even if you don't drink alcohol, when you enter a club, go to the bar and order a drink to show that you plan to be a good customer.

If you don't plan on drinking alcohol, order a non-alcoholic cocktail such as cranberry juice with soda and lime. nine0003

Find a relaxation area for yourself and your group. Don't sit next to the stage unless you plan on tipping the dancers frequently.

Make sure everyone in your group knows where the table or seating area is so they can find you if they part ways because of a lap dance or going to a bar.

Check the rules of conduct in the strip club. Strip club rules and etiquette can vary widely, especially when it comes to things like tips and lap dances. nine0003

Answer "no" to a stripper. If you don't feel comfortable, don't want to spend money on a lap dance, or don't want to buy the dancer a drink, you can say no. Don't make excuses and don't feel compelled to do so.

You don't have to do what you don't want to do. Don't feel the need to give in to peer pressure if your friends are trying to get you to do something you're uncomfortable with.

Ask for a price before accepting any offer. In order not to fall for expensive dances, drinks or promotions, it is important to know the price of the service in advance. Don't wait until the lap dance is over to negotiate the price. nine0003

Respect the dancers, security guards and bartenders. Strippers are people who deserve respect just like everyone else. Don't be rude, derogatory, or offensive to those who work at the strip club.

Do not ask for the dancers' phone number or make a date.

If a dancer refuses your request or turns away from you, don't be offended and don't chase.

Don't ask the dancers for their real names. Most dancers have alter egos that they have developed for the strip club and prefer to keep their personal information and personal lives private.