How to give a strip dance

How To Give A Lap Dance That Will Drive Your Man Crazy | Pleasure Mechanics

If you've ever fantasized about mesmerizing your man with a slow striptease before sex, rest assured you're not alone.

Wanting to tap into your inner diva and mastering the art of seduction to sexy music is totally natural (not to mention incredibly sexy).

Foreplay is not only just a fun part of initiating sex, but it can actually be an incredible time to bond you to your partner — and what better way than by turning your man on by learning how to give a lap dance with the sexiest movements your hips can offer?

Men enjoy lap dances — but there’s more to it than just watching as you gyrate and dance. It can also be an incredibly freeing moment for you as well, and make you feel sexy and confident before you even touch each other.

But lap dances can also seem a bit intimidating, and that’s okay!

Those of us who aren’t skilled in dancing or have never given a lap dance before might not know where to start. But once you’ve got a good place to begin, you can have an incredible amount of fun learning how to lap dance and showing off your best moves.

RELATED: 5 Tried-And-True Foreplay Tips To Tease And Tempt Him

If you want to get your man hot and bothered as a special occasion or even as a new form of foreplay before things really take off in the bedroom, then lap dances can be an intimately fun way to initiate sex.

We know a thing or two about how couples can improve their sex lives and become better lovers, and sharing something as passionate as a lap dance can certainly make for an interesting evening together.

Lap dances should last as long as you want them to, depending on your level of comfort, your playlist, and the overall mood. While the cost of a lap dance typically varies at certain venues, it's totally cool to give your boyfriend a lap dance. (And if you want to charge him, that's up to you.)

One of the most common questions you might have before you start is: “How can I give my man the best lap dance of his life without seeming like an amateur?” And if you’d like to know the answer to that, keep reading!

How to Give a Lap Dance Like a Total Pro

1.

Treat the lap dance like it's a (sexy) special occasion.

Lap dancing isn't an everyday activity, but a seductive gift you can offer your man for special occasions.

These days, people automatically assume that erotic dance is only for strip clubs and music videos, but it's so much more than that.

Imagine your lover being completely spellbound by your every move, quivering with desire, ready to follow your every command. Learn to lap dance, and you'll gain tremendous erotic power and confidence.

2. Practice your lap dance moves.

Long before you give your man a lap dance, start dancing for your own pleasure. Find a few songs that you think are sexy and seductive and then practice dancing to them, enjoying the way the moves feel in your body.

Ditch the mirror and don't worry about what looks sexy. Focus on what feels sexy to you.

One of our golden rules is "get out of your head, get into your hips!" Women spend too much energy worrying about how they look, what their lover is thinking and if they are performing adequately enough.

Take all of that energy and focus on how you feel. Bring the focus of your attention down into your body and notice the sensations of pleasurable movement.

Start with your hips. Place your hands on your hips and sway your hips left and right. Notice how your whole body curves in response. Then thrust your hips forward and notice how your spine arches. All of these bends and curves are crazy sexy.

Have a little extra flesh? Use it to your advantage and accentuate your curves as you bend and sway with the music.

Firmly put your hands on the arms of the chair. Sway your hips from side to side.

Next, find a song that you love dancing to. You can choose a fast, booty-thumping song that makes you feel feisty and alive. Or you may prefer a sensual dance to a slow love song.

Find the songs that make you feel most alive, most erotically charged and most ready to seduce your lover. Then dance to the song over and over again until you are at ease, moving your hips and swaying to the rhythm.

You don't have to choreograph a whole routine, just find a few good moves that feel sexy to you. The more confidence you have, the more desire you will build in your audience of one!

RELATED: 9 Exotic Dancers Offer Sexy Tips For The Perfect Strip Tease

3. Get your space ready.

When you are ready to give your man a lap dance, take a few moments to prepare the space.

Clear the floor around your most comfortable chair. Imagine your man sitting in the chair, beaming at you with love and appreciation. Make sure you can walk all the way around the chair so you can dance in a 360-degree circle of seduction!

Dim the lights if you can or flood the room with candlelight. You may even want to buy colored light bulbs to create a new atmosphere. It doesn't take much to create the thrill of novelty!

Create an atmosphere that makes you feel sexy, seductive and in the mood to dance. As you prepare the space, start taking long deep breaths and get yourself in the zone.

4. Make sure your body and mind are in the zone.

What you wear for your lap-dancing performance is totally up to you.

You can go all out and dress up in your finest dress and high heels, go out on a date and give your lover a lap dance as dessert. Or you can hide gorgeous lingerie under casual clothes and surprise him on Sunday morning.

Make it your own. After all, a lap dance is an authentic expression of your sexuality!

You'll be getting very close and intimate with your lover, so take the time to take a long shower or bath and anoint yourself with a scent you love.

You'll feel more confident and relaxed if you take a few moments to tend to your body before you present yourself to your lover.

Set aside all worries about mundane life. Ditch your to-do lists. Mindfully step into the role of seductress.

Your only job for the next stretch of time is to feel so good in your body that you cast a spell, seducing your lover into your pleasure zone.

As much as you are giving a gift to your lover, you are also giving yourself the gift of a time to feel sexy, fully alive and sensually awake.

5. Build up the anticipation — it will drive him wild!

Don't tell your man what he has in store for him, but hint that you have something special to offer him. Let him wonder what's coming next.

Start your lap dance in whatever style you prefer. You can put the music on and strut your stuff.

Or just turn away, look over your shoulder as the song begins, wink at him and start to move. Whatever you do, commit fully.

Trust us, he is not going to evaluate your dance moves. He'll get excited at the opportunity to take in all of your beauty and will love the confidence in your body.

Don't worry about getting every move right and just let yourself have fun with it. Your own pleasure is the secret sauce that will make your lap dance the most memorable of his life.

So own your power, move for your own pleasure, and know that you are giving him the profound gift of watching your gorgeous body dance!

6.

Ladies, strip tease it out.

Start far away from him, and time your approach with the song so the last few moves are right on his lap.

As you gain confidence, you can even create a playlist for a multi-song seduction, starting slow and working up to serious grinding on his lap. But to start, pick one sexy song and know that you have three to five minutes to give it your all.

From far away, make eye contact with him and slowly start moving into your dance. Then peel away one item of clothing at a time — or leave it all on! You can even combine striptease and lap dancing, and he will love it, no matter how nervous you are.

If it makes you feel more confident, leave all your clothes on and leave the undressing for later. Or strip down just to your lingerie. This is your expression, so do what makes you feel best.

As you move, slowly approach him and then back away. Then move around behind him, lightly stroking his hair and shoulders. Let him feel your breasts and hair graze the nape of his neck.

Then circle back around. Your goal is to tease him as much as possible, making him ache to touch you.

RELATED: I Learned How To Striptease For My Wife To Save My Marriage

7. Keep it simple.

You don't have to go crazy with your lap dance!

Once you have built up anticipation, start dancing closer to him. When you feel ready, let the climax of the lap dance begin.

Turn so you are facing away from him and slowly let your hips sink closer and closer to his lap. Whether he gets fully erect or not, remember that an erection is not a full measure of his arousal. So don't worry about how hard he is.

Here are four simple moves for once you are dancing in his lap:

1. Start by swaying your hips left and right.

This simple move is surprisingly powerful. Add a little dip by bending your knees as you sway.

18 Secrets to Give a Sexy Lap Dance & Leave Your Man Wet In His Shorts

Sometimes we need to pull out all the stops to make an impression.

Learn how to give a lap dance and your man will certainly be very pleasantly surprised!

Have you ever considered mastering the secrets behind knowing how to give a sexy lap dance? Most of us want to do our very best to please our partners. Of course, we expect them to do the same in return, but we want to feel that we’re doing all we can to make the relationship happy and harmonious.

When it comes to life in the bedroom, that means thinking outside of the box and coming up with a few sizzling moves he’s never seen before. So how about you learn to give a lap dance to your man?

You know he’d love it, and you KNOW you’d look sexy doing it!

Of course, let’s get this truth out – You don’t have to do it because it’s your job to please your partner per see. We indulge in these crazy and hot antics mainly because it makes us happy to see them happy – about anything.

We actually get joy out of doing whatever we can to please them. That’s why we’re always looking for new and interesting ways to spice things up in the bedroom, too. [Read: 20 sexy things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and why they don’t]

Does the idea of learning how to give a lap dance make you embarrassed?

Now, there’s one thing that stops most people from attempting lap dancing. Embarrassment.

We assume that we look stupid, but do you know what? There’s no chance of looking stupid when you’re moving in that slow and sexy way, showing your man the very best of what you’ve got.

He’ll be so taken with how amazing you look that he won’t even consider how you might be cringing on the inside.

Lap dancing doesn’t make you sluttish, it makes you keen to do what you can to please your partner. It’s sexy, it’s sensual, and when done in the right way, it brings seriously explosive results your way!

If you’re super-nervous, have a glass of wine beforehand *only one* or take some deep breaths. Wear the clothes that make you feel great and do some work on the lighting in the room.

This will make sure that it shows you at your very best. By setting the scene to make you comfortable, you’ll be able to focus on your moves without worrying about how you look.

When did the idea of sexy lap dances begin?

When you think of a lap dance, it’s likely your mind is filled with images of a strip club with half-naked women grinding on perverted old businessmen. Right?

Well, it’s likely that lap dances within a relationship could have been around for many years without anyone knowing, because it was in private! [Read: The girl’s guide to strip clubs and female strippers – What happens inside?]

However, lap dancing in a club setting and being paid for it has been around since Medieval times. Women of lower classes would perform for men for a fee. Although prostitution was also linked to these types of establishments, it is where stripping and giving lap dances are most likely to have started.

That doesn’t mean you can’t take the best of it and use it to show your partner a great time!

How to give a lap dance and give him an unforgettable night

Not all of us are magically blessed with the hips of Shakira. Some of us have to work extra hard in order to give a sexy lap dance that doesn’t make us look like an ungraceful fool and risk ruining the hot mood.

[Read: How to strip tease – 19 sexy moves for newbies to undress like a stripper]

There is a lot more strategy involved in a truly sexy lap dance than just being able to wiggle your hips to the thumping beat of a erotic song. If you want to know how to give a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget, you’ll need these tips.

1. Build up the anticipation in his mind

Giving your man a heads up that he’ll be experiencing something fun and sexy that night. It’s the perfect way to initiate his sexual anticipation.

You don’t have to give him an exact itinerary for the night, but sending him naughty clues throughout the day should be enough to pique his curiosity. Even just a snapshot of a lace corner from your outfit would suffice.

2. Set the mood

You can’t give him a sexy lap dance without creating a hot and steamy atmosphere. You have to set the mood so the second he walks in the door he knows he’s in for a wild night.

Keep the lights low, the music at a soft but audible decibel, and leave a single chair in an empty space so he realizes what he’s in for. [Read: How to grind for a guy sexily and discreetly and get him hard in seconds]

3. Choose an outfit that makes you feel amazing

You don’t have to go spend a ton of money on some lingerie that you feel weird and uncomfortable in. You should wear something that not only you feel sexy in, but something that he really loves seeing you in – and out of. You can even wear a sundress if that’s what he really likes!

4. Practice your dominant attitude

A sexy lap dance is all about power, and women hold all of the power during this sex act. So you have to become a dominant, in-charge woman.

Pull him into the house, demand that he takes off his coat, and shove him onto the chair that you’ll be using for the dance. [Read: 17 femdom secrets to be a dominatrix mistress and dominate a man in bed]

5.

Before learning how to give a lap dance, work out your rules and set them down

Since you’re now in charge, you get to make all the rules. If you don’t want him to make a peep throughout the whole thing, tell him that.

If you don’t want him to touch you at all, then make sure he knows. And make sure he knows that if he breaks those rules, he’ll have to pay.

This not only makes it fun for you, but he’ll also get riled up even more when he knows he can’t even so much as touch the amazing body that’s grinding all over him and luring him in. [Read: The sexy ways to tease your man and make him want to F you right there!]

6. Relax a little beforehand

If you haven’t ever given him a lap dance before and you’re more than a little nervous, have a drink! Hell, have two and a shot on top of that.

Lap dances can only be successful if you’re relaxed and willing to have a good time. If you fear that your nerves will hinder that, then drink up. You’ll be feeling relaxed and ready to dance in no time!

7.

Pick some sexy music that gets your hips wiggling

Add both sexy music, and music that you love dancing to. The goal of this is to ensure that you’re comfortable enough to let go and have fun.

So throw on some mood music that you love, so your dance moves seem genuine and effortless. [Read: The absolute lovemaking playlist guide you need]

8. Start slowly and build up

You should start dancing while you’re still standing a couple of feet away from him. This means he can take in the whole view. Then slowly dance your way toward him with slow and seductive moves.

9. Undress slowly and teasingly

Don’t just rip all of your clothes off at once. The point of a proper lap dance is to slowly remove pieces of clothing in a way that makes him WISH he could rip them off.

To do this, take off an item of clothing every couple of minutes, while never removing your eyes from his.

10. Spend equal amounts of time on and off his lap

This can be confusing since it is called a “lap” dance, but it works. Really great lap dances do a lot of teasing, and you want to make him crave actually having sitting on his lap.

To do this, stand over him with your back to him. Give him some sexy visuals of your backside dancing before leaning back and touching his lap.

Doing things like this will give him equal viewing time and touching time – two things that can work together to create a powerful lap dance he’ll never forget. [Read: 28 hot ways to be sexier for your boyfriend and make him lust for you]

11. Gauge his reaction and change your tactics accordingly

Some men prefer to have the lap dancer facing the other way so they can get a view of their booty. Others prefer to have a woman’s boobs right in their face.

Make sure you’re gauging your man’s reactions and adjusting your body accordingly so he has the most pleasure. [Read: How to ride a man and look sexy doing it]

12. Practice before you go for it

To get more comfortable with your moves and finding the right pace for taking your clothes off, practice when you’re alone. You can even practice in front of a trusted friend and get some of their advice if you’re feeling really anxious about it.

13. Make sure you choose a sturdy chair!

There are many people who have tried giving their boyfriends a sexy lap dance only to end up breaking a chair or falling over in it! So you want to ensure the chair can hold the weight of both of you! [Read: Fun sex games to play with your boyfriend]

14. Don’t push yourself too far – stick with what feels comfortable

Don’t try belly dancing like Shakira if you really don’t have much mobility in your hips. Just do what you can to feel sexy. Don’t go overboard with the music, outfit, or dancing. Simple is always best when it comes to giving a sensual and sexy lap dance.

15. Choose the right lighting

No matter what time of day you’re attempting to learn how to give a lap dance, you need to choose the right lighting.

Candles are perfect because they’re instantly sexy from the get-go. A full-on light could be enough to make you feel self-conscious – it’s harsh and if you feel uncomfortable you’re not going to enjoy it as much.

However, candles and fairy lights give you that half-light that is super-flattering from the start! [Read: 24 sex room ideas to make any room look and feel sexy]

16. Always work the hips

Whilst there are no specific moves to remember when learning how to give a lap dance, it’s normally all in the hips.

By circling your hips, jiggling them up and down, moving them back and forth, and basically doing anything in a slow manner when it comes to this part of your body, you’ll get the trick just right.

The hips are a super-sexy part of the female body. This is probably because they’re directly connected to the butt!

If you want to move your shoulders in line with your hips, a little like a belly dancer, go for it. Yet, usually moving your hips means moving your butt and that’s a good place to start.

17.

Cut out the distractions when learning how to give a lap dance

It goes without saying that you shouldn’t choose a time when you’re going to be distracted or when one of you has to be somewhere. Your lap dance doesn’t need to have a time limit on it.

Make sure that he leaves his phone in another room and yours is turned off. If one of you needs to go somewhere, that’s the wrong time and you need to reschedule! The likelihood of your lap dance turning into something else is very high, so bear that in mind. [Read: 16 sex tips for women to make sex so much more exciting]

18. Remember to have fun!

Don’t think so much about your insecurities! Giving a lap dance is supposed to be fun. If you’re having a good time, then it is guaranteed that your lover is going to have an amazing time, too. So relax and just have fun with it!

There are no rules to learning how to give a lap dance

The bottom line is that you can’t do anything wrong when you learn how to give a lap dance. All you need to do is move your body, remove your clothes *or just wiggle in sexy ones if you prefer*, and drive him crazy. The very fact that you’re willing to do this for him is likely to be enough to start with. [Read: How to spice up the bedroom – 22 tips to set the bed on fire]

There are no rules. You don’t have to turn your back to him, you don’t have to face him, you don’t need to follow any guidelines, you just go with what feels good to you.

Watch his reaction and if he looks like he’s excited, push it a little further. He’s not going to be bored, so you don’t have any worries there.

If you want to, practice in the mirror beforehand but know that the very fact you’re willing to wiggle your hips just for him, will be enough to drive him crazy.

[Read: 24 minxy secrets to turn your boyfriend on and leave your man hard and horny]

Giving your man a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget is one of the best ways to get the night moving in the right direction. And these tips on how to give a lap dance the right way will ensure you look amazing, and he’ll remember the night for a long time to come.

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