How to dance for my man

How To Dance For Man In The Bedroom Inspired By Ciara

Shamika Sanders

, Managing Editor

Posted May 17, 2013


Shamika Sanders is the managing editor for HelloBeautiful where she carries out a vision to uplift Black women by telling their unique stories. She began working at iOneDigital in 2011 and has penned articles for iOneDigital, Essence, Billboard, and has interviewed celebrities like Oprah, Viola Davis, Denzel Washington, and Regina King. Shamika is a seasoned reporter with over 10 years of experience in digital media. She is the mother of an adorable two-year-old, enjoys spending time with her friends and family, enjoys good music, and good eats. Keep up with her on social media. @shamika_sanders

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There’s something so intimate and sexy about dancing for your man. Staring in his eyes while you contort your body in sensual positions always sends shivers down their spine. Ciara has become the poster woman for steamy choreography. Her video “Body Party” is like an instructional for performing the act.

We’ve looked to Cici to help us put together a list of dance moves to incorporate into your next routine! You can find them in her videos “Promise,” “Body Party,” “Love, Sex & Magic,” and “Ride.”

MUST READ: Ciara Releases Risqué ‘Body Party’ Cover & Full Song + 15 Of Her Sexiest GIFS

MUST READ: Ciara’s “Body Party”: 5 Reasons Future Is Winning [PHOTOS]

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1. The Body Roll


Create an S-form with your body by rolling it like Ciara in her video “Promise.”

2. The Strip Tease


Tease him with your naked body, but don’t give too much away!


Utilitize props


Using a chair in your routine adds variety. Use it to show off the arch in your back. High heels help the legs look elongated.

4. Tricks


Putting things between your legs can be tricky, but this trick by Jamie Lee Curtis (borrowed by CiCi) in “True Lies” is a classic move and will impress him!

5. The Big Reveal


Surprise him and reveal your lingerie underneath your robe.

6. Crawl


No dance is complete without the sexy crawl. It ill make him feel dominant!

7. Touch


Don’t be afraid to touch your man during your dance. Get close enough to him and entice him with your girl assets.

8. Use different angles


Ciara had the right idea when she gave Future a different angle of her back then breast.

9. A leg up on the competition


Allow him to feel and explore the length of your body by dancing from the tip of your toes to the reach of your lips!

10. Hip movement


No dance is complete without gyrating hip movement. As R.Kelly would say, “Move ya body like a snake ma!”

More From HelloBeautiful

18 Secrets to Give a Sexy Lap Dance & Leave Your Man Wet In His Shorts

Sometimes we need to pull out all the stops to make an impression. Learn how to give a lap dance and your man will certainly be very pleasantly surprised!

Have you ever considered mastering the secrets behind knowing how to give a sexy lap dance? Most of us want to do our very best to please our partners. Of course, we expect them to do the same in return, but we want to feel that we’re doing all we can to make the relationship happy and harmonious.

When it comes to life in the bedroom, that means thinking outside of the box and coming up with a few sizzling moves he’s never seen before. So how about you learn to give a lap dance to your man?

You know he’d love it, and you KNOW you’d look sexy doing it!

Of course, let’s get this truth out – You don’t have to do it because it’s your job to please your partner per see. We indulge in these crazy and hot antics mainly because it makes us happy to see them happy – about anything.

We actually get joy out of doing whatever we can to please them. That’s why we’re always looking for new and interesting ways to spice things up in the bedroom, too. [Read: 20 sexy things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and why they don’t]

Does the idea of learning how to give a lap dance make you embarrassed?

Now, there’s one thing that stops most people from attempting lap dancing. Embarrassment.

We assume that we look stupid, but do you know what? There’s no chance of looking stupid when you’re moving in that slow and sexy way, showing your man the very best of what you’ve got.

He’ll be so taken with how amazing you look that he won’t even consider how you might be cringing on the inside.

Lap dancing doesn’t make you sluttish, it makes you keen to do what you can to please your partner. It’s sexy, it’s sensual, and when done in the right way, it brings seriously explosive results your way!

If you’re super-nervous, have a glass of wine beforehand *only one* or take some deep breaths. Wear the clothes that make you feel great and do some work on the lighting in the room.

This will make sure that it shows you at your very best. By setting the scene to make you comfortable, you’ll be able to focus on your moves without worrying about how you look.

When did the idea of sexy lap dances begin?

When you think of a lap dance, it’s likely your mind is filled with images of a strip club with half-naked women grinding on perverted old businessmen. Right?

Well, it’s likely that lap dances within a relationship could have been around for many years without anyone knowing, because it was in private! [Read: The girl’s guide to strip clubs and female strippers – What happens inside?]

However, lap dancing in a club setting and being paid for it has been around since Medieval times. Women of lower classes would perform for men for a fee. Although prostitution was also linked to these types of establishments, it is where stripping and giving lap dances are most likely to have started.

That doesn’t mean you can’t take the best of it and use it to show your partner a great time!

How to give a lap dance and give him an unforgettable night

Not all of us are magically blessed with the hips of Shakira. Some of us have to work extra hard in order to give a sexy lap dance that doesn’t make us look like an ungraceful fool and risk ruining the hot mood.

[Read: How to strip tease – 19 sexy moves for newbies to undress like a stripper]

There is a lot more strategy involved in a truly sexy lap dance than just being able to wiggle your hips to the thumping beat of a erotic song. If you want to know how to give a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget, you’ll need these tips.

1. Build up the anticipation in his mind

Giving your man a heads up that he’ll be experiencing something fun and sexy that night. It’s the perfect way to initiate his sexual anticipation.

You don’t have to give him an exact itinerary for the night, but sending him naughty clues throughout the day should be enough to pique his curiosity. Even just a snapshot of a lace corner from your outfit would suffice.

2. Set the mood

You can’t give him a sexy lap dance without creating a hot and steamy atmosphere. You have to set the mood so the second he walks in the door he knows he’s in for a wild night.

Keep the lights low, the music at a soft but audible decibel, and leave a single chair in an empty space so he realizes what he’s in for. [Read: How to grind for a guy sexily and discreetly and get him hard in seconds]

3. Choose an outfit that makes you feel amazing

You don’t have to go spend a ton of money on some lingerie that you feel weird and uncomfortable in. You should wear something that not only you feel sexy in, but something that he really loves seeing you in – and out of. You can even wear a sundress if that’s what he really likes!

4. Practice your dominant attitude

A sexy lap dance is all about power, and women hold all of the power during this sex act. So you have to become a dominant, in-charge woman.

Pull him into the house, demand that he takes off his coat, and shove him onto the chair that you’ll be using for the dance. [Read: 17 femdom secrets to be a dominatrix mistress and dominate a man in bed]

5. Before learning how to give a lap dance, work out your rules and set them down

Since you’re now in charge, you get to make all the rules. If you don’t want him to make a peep throughout the whole thing, tell him that.

If you don’t want him to touch you at all, then make sure he knows. And make sure he knows that if he breaks those rules, he’ll have to pay.

This not only makes it fun for you, but he’ll also get riled up even more when he knows he can’t even so much as touch the amazing body that’s grinding all over him and luring him in. [Read: The sexy ways to tease your man and make him want to F you right there!]

6. Relax a little beforehand

If you haven’t ever given him a lap dance before and you’re more than a little nervous, have a drink! Hell, have two and a shot on top of that.

Lap dances can only be successful if you’re relaxed and willing to have a good time. If you fear that your nerves will hinder that, then drink up. You’ll be feeling relaxed and ready to dance in no time!

7. Pick some sexy music that gets your hips wiggling

Add both sexy music, and music that you love dancing to. The goal of this is to ensure that you’re comfortable enough to let go and have fun.

So throw on some mood music that you love, so your dance moves seem genuine and effortless. [Read: The absolute lovemaking playlist guide you need]

8. Start slowly and build up

You should start dancing while you’re still standing a couple of feet away from him. This means he can take in the whole view. Then slowly dance your way toward him with slow and seductive moves.

9. Undress slowly and teasingly

Don’t just rip all of your clothes off at once. The point of a proper lap dance is to slowly remove pieces of clothing in a way that makes him WISH he could rip them off.

To do this, take off an item of clothing every couple of minutes, while never removing your eyes from his.

10. Spend equal amounts of time on and off his lap

This can be confusing since it is called a “lap” dance, but it works. Really great lap dances do a lot of teasing, and you want to make him crave actually having sitting on his lap.

To do this, stand over him with your back to him. Give him some sexy visuals of your backside dancing before leaning back and touching his lap.

Doing things like this will give him equal viewing time and touching time – two things that can work together to create a powerful lap dance he’ll never forget. [Read: 28 hot ways to be sexier for your boyfriend and make him lust for you]


Gauge his reaction and change your tactics accordingly

Some men prefer to have the lap dancer facing the other way so they can get a view of their booty. Others prefer to have a woman’s boobs right in their face.

Make sure you’re gauging your man’s reactions and adjusting your body accordingly so he has the most pleasure. [Read: How to ride a man and look sexy doing it]

12. Practice before you go for it

To get more comfortable with your moves and finding the right pace for taking your clothes off, practice when you’re alone. You can even practice in front of a trusted friend and get some of their advice if you’re feeling really anxious about it.

13. Make sure you choose a sturdy chair!

There are many people who have tried giving their boyfriends a sexy lap dance only to end up breaking a chair or falling over in it! So you want to ensure the chair can hold the weight of both of you! [Read: Fun sex games to play with your boyfriend]


Don’t push yourself too far – stick with what feels comfortable

Don’t try belly dancing like Shakira if you really don’t have much mobility in your hips. Just do what you can to feel sexy. Don’t go overboard with the music, outfit, or dancing. Simple is always best when it comes to giving a sensual and sexy lap dance.

15. Choose the right lighting

No matter what time of day you’re attempting to learn how to give a lap dance, you need to choose the right lighting.

Candles are perfect because they’re instantly sexy from the get-go. A full-on light could be enough to make you feel self-conscious – it’s harsh and if you feel uncomfortable you’re not going to enjoy it as much.

However, candles and fairy lights give you that half-light that is super-flattering from the start! [Read: 24 sex room ideas to make any room look and feel sexy]

16. Always work the hips

Whilst there are no specific moves to remember when learning how to give a lap dance, it’s normally all in the hips.

By circling your hips, jiggling them up and down, moving them back and forth, and basically doing anything in a slow manner when it comes to this part of your body, you’ll get the trick just right.

The hips are a super-sexy part of the female body. This is probably because they’re directly connected to the butt!

If you want to move your shoulders in line with your hips, a little like a belly dancer, go for it. Yet, usually moving your hips means moving your butt and that’s a good place to start.

17. Cut out the distractions when learning how to give a lap dance

It goes without saying that you shouldn’t choose a time when you’re going to be distracted or when one of you has to be somewhere. Your lap dance doesn’t need to have a time limit on it.

Make sure that he leaves his phone in another room and yours is turned off. If one of you needs to go somewhere, that’s the wrong time and you need to reschedule! The likelihood of your lap dance turning into something else is very high, so bear that in mind. [Read: 16 sex tips for women to make sex so much more exciting]

18. Remember to have fun!

Don’t think so much about your insecurities! Giving a lap dance is supposed to be fun. If you’re having a good time, then it is guaranteed that your lover is going to have an amazing time, too. So relax and just have fun with it!

There are no rules to learning how to give a lap dance

The bottom line is that you can’t do anything wrong when you learn how to give a lap dance. All you need to do is move your body, remove your clothes *or just wiggle in sexy ones if you prefer*, and drive him crazy. The very fact that you’re willing to do this for him is likely to be enough to start with. [Read: How to spice up the bedroom – 22 tips to set the bed on fire]

There are no rules. You don’t have to turn your back to him, you don’t have to face him, you don’t need to follow any guidelines, you just go with what feels good to you.

Watch his reaction and if he looks like he’s excited, push it a little further. He’s not going to be bored, so you don’t have any worries there.

If you want to, practice in the mirror beforehand but know that the very fact you’re willing to wiggle your hips just for him, will be enough to drive him crazy.

[Read: 24 minxy secrets to turn your boyfriend on and leave your man hard and horny]

Giving your man a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget is one of the best ways to get the night moving in the right direction. And these tips on how to give a lap dance the right way will ensure you look amazing, and he’ll remember the night for a long time to come.

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Dancing for men - why do men need dancing classes?

In Russia, it is customary to believe that dancing is not a male occupation at all. Known to every Russian person, the aphorism “Men don’t dance” is a confirmation of this. However, this stereotype is no longer true. More and more men of different professions and ages are fond of dancing and, above all, Argentine tango, as the most masculine dance. After talking with the students of the La Boca club, we tried to understand why men start dancing, how dancing helps in everyday life and how their environment relates to this hobby.

Alexander Tyutyutnik

Dancing tango for about 3 years

How did you decide to start dancing?

Three years ago I ended up with a group of friends in Buenos Aires, who took me to some very popular tango show (at that time I didn’t know anything about tango, so I didn’t remember the name), they put me in the front row ... and incredible action began. For me, it was a cross between striptease and ballet. Everything that happened on the stage made a huge impression on me. I came back to Moscow and told my wife: "We are going to learn to dance the tango. " During the year I was intimidated by all kinds of teachers. They tried to explain to me about beats, bars, and because I am not originally a musical person, for me all this was a Chinese letter, but I am not used to giving up. Why are you dancing now? The dance erases all the events of the working day. It doesn't matter what happened at work. If you dance in the evening, all the tension, all the stress - tango wipes clean.

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Besides, dancing is also a sport. Rather, sports and creativity. Often a creative person gets bored of lifting the bar after five minutes, and when your instrument is a woman, a completely different story comes out. How does your environment perceive such a hobby?

Mostly as an oddity. After all, they usually come to dances, if there is some kind of predisposition, dance experience in childhood. And when like this, all of a sudden, for many it causes bewilderment.

What kind of women do you like to dance with?

You know, tango opens up a lot of new things. For example, that even adult men do not know what kind of women they like. It happens like this: you look at a girl, she is attractive in appearance, she dances well from the outside, but you get in a couple and ... nothing happens. It also happens exactly the opposite. Still, there is this body chemistry. Why do you think men come to dance? Here, just like in real life. Everyone dances for something of their own: someone lacks romance, and someone has so much of it that they have to put it somewhere. Someone tries to be distracted, and someone, on the contrary, to attract. It seems to me that there is no underlying reason, every time there is a whole story behind the dance.

Konstantin Lavrov

Has been dancing tango for about a year and a half

How did you start dancing tango?

A year and a half ago, literally, I'm not afraid of this word, she brought me to the dance by force. Now I have already got used to it a little, although I understand that I am at the very beginning of the journey.

How do your friends feel about your new hobby?

Everything is different. But in general, we are glad, because my wife and I finally had a common hobby, this had a great effect on our relationship. Some friends, by the way, are even offended because we do not always have time to meet with them: we constantly have a lesson, then a milonga, then a festival, then a concert.

Do you have uncomfortable moments in your personal life? Does your wife get jealous when you invite other women?

On the contrary! At milongas, she pushes me: “Go invite me!” He rejoices with me at my successes, very supportive. And me too. It's great when she enjoys dancing. For me, while each dance is like a race, there is tension.

Dancing man - what is he like?

I've noticed that some men have a thing for dancing. It seems to me, absolutely in vain. Dancing helped me become more relaxed. Recently my wife and I started doing kizomba in addition to tango.

Also, if I visit other cities, I look at what tango events are taking place there. Quite recently I was on a business trip in Munich, there was a tango festival. Quite by chance, I happened to be near that place, and said aloud "tango ...". The girl standing there heard me and realized that I was Russian. We spontaneously began to communicate, it was very nice that thanks to tango people just get to know each other on the street.

Lanshakov Valery

Dancing tango for 2.5 years.

How did you start dancing tango?

I was invited by a classmate who started teaching tango and was recruiting his own group. So, having decided to support a friend in his undertaking, I came to tango. Although there was a prejudice, because before I tried ballroom dancing and I didn’t like it at all: some kind of mechanical movements in which I didn’t see the point. But tango turned out to be a completely different story.

Why do you do tango?

It's hard to say, some kind of inner need: a desire to be creative, a search for new emotions.

How does your environment feel about you?

Great, I approve very much.

What kind of women do you like to dance with?

At my level it is useful to dance with any partner. In general, I like partners who understand what they are doing, do not run, but are waiting for a partner. Once I met a girl from Kemerovo. She said that tango is very poorly developed in their city, there are almost no partners, and the girls mostly practice on their own, practicing their technique. Believe it or not, she was one of the best partners I have ever danced with, she was very sensitive to her partner and listened to the music.

Dancing man, what is he like?

Thinking, doubting, trying to better understand and interact with another person.

Your advice to girls to be invited to the milongas more often.

Talk more, don't stare at the ceiling. I noticed that the most dancing in the milongas is not the best dancing girls, and the most sociable, who move around the milonga, communicate, do not sit modestly.

Pavel Baskakov

Can't count how many dances, about 6 years old

How did you decide to start dancing and why are you dancing now?

My dance story began with an advertisement for the opening of one of the tango clubs. I did not have a partner who shared the desire to acquire a new skill, so I went to the first lesson in splendid isolation. Why am I doing? I do not consider dancing as some kind of functional. Why do people drink good wine? Why does an artist take a brush and paint his canvas? I dance to enjoy - from dancing, from communication. How does your environment feel about your dancing?

As a rule, my acquaintances react rather negatively, with incomprehension. They love to insert a line from Krylov's fable out of place and out of place, remember - "... So go ahead, dance!"

Does dancing help to understand a woman?

Of course. Girls are all different, it is not always easy for men to understand what is hidden behind their words and masks. But the body does not lie. What kind of women do you like to dance with? With those who are attentive to me and to the music

A dancing man - what is he like?

The main thing is that it should be real. sincere. This is especially important in tango. It's nice to see when a man is a Man, with all the corresponding qualities.

Stanislav Zharkov

Has been dancing for 3 months

I do dance so that I can dance, oddly enough. And what can you expect when you learn another language? Just another interesting life. Having started dancing, you dance everywhere and always, dancing helps to accumulate energy and direct it in the right direction. How do your loved ones feel about your passion for dancing? Of course they approve! What do you feel when you dance? As in sparring or sailing, dance is total involvement and involvement in a dialogue, the quality of which depends on the degree of involvement. Did you come by yourself, or was a woman brought you? Himself, but with a desire to more sensitively understand women.

How does tango help you understand women?

Naturally, you become much closer with your partner. But only as far as she allows. Tango awakens deep and real femininity, gathers masculinity into integrity, shows what you stand as a man.

Dancing man, what is he like?

Dancing men are different, as far as I can see. Depends on the individuality: someone brutal, someone refined, everyone expresses himself in movement. For me, tango is a dance in its purest form, not a repetition of memorized movements, but creativity in the process, primarily in the male part. In tango, you can see the best that the partner wants to tell about himself.

Sergei Sivkin

has been dancing since he was a pioneer, but deep passion for tango began 5 years ago

When did you start dancing?

I have been dancing since I was a pioneer. The first classes at the Palace of Pioneers on the Fontanka. Of course, it was ballroom dancing. I also started Argentine tango quite a long time ago. About 20 years ago. But then we were not told about leading and following, we got up in a pair, always with the same partner, and memorized the movements. At that time I was not very hooked on the Argentine tango. I liked rock and roll more. Modern tango started for me in August 2013. There have already been weight changes, leading and following, musicality, changing partners, milongas, etc. Now it's hooked. I had to give up bachata and kizomba. Only tango. Americans have calculated that to become a professional in any field (hockey, tennis, dancing) you need to spend about 10 thousand hours. You can calculate for yourself how many years it takes to reach the level of, say, Andrei Panferov. But what if you work out 1 hour a week? It's only 52 hours a year. Draw your own conclusions.

How does dancing help you in everyday life?

Dancing always helps. Especially abroad. When there are language problems. There are no problems with dancing. We speak the same language with any partner.

Why do you dance? What do you expect from them?

Dancing is first and foremost a physical form. I don't like jogging down the street in traffic. It is much more pleasant to move on the dance floor to beautiful music in the arms of a beautiful woman.

How do you feel when you dance?

I would like to answer: "a feeling of deep satisfaction." But still, tango is much more multifaceted.

What kind of women do you like to dance with?

Various. Each has its own temperament, pace, charm. But, of course, you get special pleasure from an experienced partner. She subtly feels the lead, clearly follows it, maintains her balance, inserts jewelry without knocking her partner, etc. The only problem is that experienced dancers want to dance with experienced dancers.

What is a dancing man like?

The one that dances for a woman. His task is to show the partner in the dance, to support, if the balance is a little off, to give her what she wants in the dance.

In general, in my opinion, everyone should be able to dance and swim. Don't be afraid to start at any age. Even in one like mine - not quite young. Love tango and tango will love you.

How not to be jealous of a man if he loves to dance? – Orthodox magazine “Foma”

October 19, 2022 Author: EFANOV Andrey, archpriest

Approximate reading time: 3 min.




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Reader question:


My man and I met at social dances. Time has passed, I no longer want to dance with anyone other than him, so I don’t want to go back there. Now I realized how dangerous these dances are in terms of soul corruption. In the summer, I was jealous of one of his partners, who decided that she could claim something. But he reassured me, clearly showing that he was with me.

I understand that he will continue to dance with her and with other girls, because he loves dancing very much. Including rather vicious ones, in which there is very close physical contact. Deep down in my heart, this worries me. In the future, I want a family with him. Whether he wants this is still unclear. My task now is not to betray myself.

But how can he console himself, given that he will continue to dance with other partners? I more or less conquered jealousy, but the very realization of the fact continues to excite me. I'm scared that if I don't go to the dance with him, it might have a bad effect on the relationship...

Archpriest Andrey Efanov answers:


I think that the root of the problem lies in confidence in a man and in a specific perspective of relationships with him. I don’t really understand what “my man” is - a lover (and then we are talking about fornication), a groom, just a man who you like, but with whom you communicate in order to understand what are the prospects? These are all completely different things in terms of how relationships are built.

I understand that you people are adults. It often happens that a woman realizes earlier that she would like a family with a man. It happens that a woman, in principle, is set on a family, so she is more willing to see a future husband in a man, because if a man is not set up for marriage, he is unlikely to look at a woman precisely from the position of whether he wants to see her as his wife. Because of this, it happens that women are very disappointed when it turns out that for a man communication with them was just a pleasant pastime, without a family perspective. That is why we are against fornication, because it is not necessary to get ahead of events and enter into close relationships before marriage begins - that is, it will be decided that a man and a woman have one life for two. Marriage marks exactly this line: here we were apart - and here we are together. We love each other and are ready to bear responsibility for each other and for our relationship.

I agree that dancing is a highly imaginative activity. especially certain kinds of dances. I understand your desire to dance with only one partner, because when you love, you don’t want any intimacy or a hint of intimacy with others. I also don’t think that you should break yourself and go to the dance, it’s definitely not worth it. I think the most important thing is for you not to rush things, calmly indicate that, for example, you are pleased to dance only with this man, you don’t want to dance with others. and then look at the reaction and behavior of the man. If you walk openly with him as a couple, if the general prospect of family life becomes visible, if the man is truly reliable, then, I think, the questions will disappear. By the way, with this option, you can tell him that you would not like him to dance specific dances with someone else.

If it turns out that he doesn't need a family in principle and you and he have different ideas about the future, then the question here is not about dancing at all.

But I'm afraid there's no way to be consoled. I think that now the task is not to betray yourself (including your moral values), but to look at how things really are and whether that very prospect really looms or is it just your desire. If it doesn't emerge, it's sad and painful, but you'll have to see it and accept it.

With God!

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