Teach me how to lap dance


8 Moves To Give Your Man A Perfect Lap Dance

This discreet newsletter will teach you how to give him freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.

You might associate lap dances with strip clubs and late nights, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Men like a little spice, even in long-term relationships, and giving a good lap dance to the guy you love can be an excellent way to show him how you feel and bring a little sparkle to his eye.

Of course, you can’t very well deliver if you don’t know how to give a lap dance, which is why we’re going to talk about the ins and outs of actually giving him a lap dance in this article. Below, we’ll cover the basics, including how to bring up the subject with your guy, how to practice and what to wear, among other details.

Do you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or masturbation? If you do, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.

Keep in mind that the finished effect will either be sexy or bumbling, depending on how much time you devote to getting it right beforehand. If you want to give a good lap dance, don’t rush the process. Instead, follow these steps and you’ll do great.

1. What to Wear

When giving him a lap dance, one of the most effective moves is to remove clothing as you go along. This not only ups the ante little by little, but gives you an opportunity to do something a bit different every once in a while, removing various bits of clothing in lieu of dance moves … or better yet, turning the removal of clothing into dance moves.

Wear layers so you can strip down. Of course, you can’t be dressed like you’re heading out into the Alaskan wilderness when you start, but there are ways to layer up without looking bulky or silly. For instance, you can wear a bra, a camisole and a sheer blouse on top, perhaps embellished with a feather boa. On bottom, you might consider wearing thong underwear, tiny skintight shorts and a skirt over them. That gives you several pieces to play with, which can really help heighten the effect of the dance overall.

Incorporate the type of clothing that your man finds sexy. More on that here. Get more hints in our article on strip teases.

2. Practicing Your Skills Beforehand

If you don’t know how to give a lap dance, this party won’t go very far, now will it? So the first thing you have to do is learn how. This is easily achieved just by watching YouTube, but if you need some additional inspiration from an expert, Carmen Electra has some great videos. Important moves to master are circling the chair, climbing onto his lap, and dipping down and back up. Of course, there are many others, but these will make a great foundational repertoire.

If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.

Remember to play up your assets. If you’re small-chested but have a really nice behind, make sure that faces him for at least part of the dance, and run your hands over it lightly. If your breasts are your best feature, make sure they’re front and center.

However, you shouldn’t worry too much about your body. If you need a confidence boost, then check out tips to love your body.

3. How to Suggest Giving Him a Lap Dance

One of the key ingredients in a good lap dance is a lack of awkwardness. If things feel bizarre or weird between the two of you, it won’t be very much fun for anyone, now will it? That means that the way in which you bring up the subject has to be casual, calm and naughty. A little shyness is fine, but if you lack confidence, so will he. When suggesting the dance, put on a playful or rowdy face. Be coy, inviting him “into your chambers,” or to “step into your office. ” Maybe turn it into a role play scene. Make it fun, and be confident.

4. Spice Things Up

Unlike girls who give lap dances in strip clubs, you’re actually at liberty to touch and take things further (lap dances work well for sex!). Lucky for both of you, right? Instead of keeping the requisite distance between the two of you, sprinkle a few extra moves into your lap dance, stroking your hand down his chest or up his legs, kissing him on the lips or the neck, and making full contact once in a while.

Check out this post about foreplay for more ideas. Of particular notice is dry humping, which is essentially what a lap dance is! Of course, you’re free to do even more than that if you want (wink, wink), but pulling away once in a while can heighten the anticipation.

Keep in mind, though, that the no touching rule can actually make things even more exciting in some cases. If you want to go this route, just tell him at the start of the dance (in your sultriest voice, of course) that he better keep his hands off you or you’ll call your manager. Then, whenever he makes a grab for you, simply take his hands and pin them over his head or behind his back, or make him sit on them. If you’re feeling especially frisky and want to break a few rules, slap some handcuffs on him to include elements of light bondage.

5. Making It Complicated or Simple

This really depends on you and your man. If you have a dance background or gymnastic moves, complicated might just suit you. If you’re like most of us, however, simple is probably more your jam. In that case, go with it. Slow and sexy is perfect for lap dancing.

6. Which Music to Play

Marvin Gaye comes to mind as the typical lap dance music, and while “Let’s Get It On” certainly sends a pretty clear message, there are plenty of other choices out there as well. Think some Usher, which has a faster beat but still contains plenty of innuendo. If you want to move a little bit more slowly, there’s a whole world of R & B for you to explore. And you can always let your own tastes as a couple dictate what you like: anything with a decently slow, slinky beat will do the trick. This post has more more ideas for sexy music, and these songs are great for lap dances specifically!

Remember to practice your lap dance with the music you choose. If all you do is practice along with videos, your timing might be off when you play the music you’ve compiled. Speaking of compilations, make sure the songs you pick transition smoothly from one to the next, without weird interruptions that could throw off your mojo.

7. Design a Good Build Up

One of the most important components of giving him a lap dance is a good buildup. You can’t just dive straight into a bunch of grinding and hope it will be sexy. Similarly, feather light touches and a little bit of wiggling does not an entire lap dance make. Instead, you have to escalate the action all the way throughout.

The best way to ensure you’re building during the whole dance is to design a routine beforehand. Mix and match your moves so that you’re always going a bit further as each minute ticks into the next. Of course, it’s okay to occasionally back off or slow it down, but the overall feeling should be of rising action. Think of a book or a movie: in general, each “scene” should be a little more intense than the last. A little sexier, a little closer, a littler more risqué.

8. Calm Your Nerves Beforehand

Sure, a little bit of nervousness is cute, but if your bashfulness makes you unable to, you know, perform, then what’s the point? If you find yourself too shy to truly make it happen without some help, have a drink or two beforehand. In fact, a night when both of you are having a few glasses of wine (such as a holiday or anniversary, when you’re likely to be celebrating already) can be perfect, because your man will lose his initial inhibitions as well.

See? Giving a lap dance isn’t as hard as you think it is, provided you take the time to practice and set everything up beforehand. Not only is it totally doable, giving him a lap dance can make your relationship a lot more fun and bring you closer to one another.

Consider saving this surprise for a special occasion, like his birthday, a holiday or your anniversary. It will have a lot more impact if he doesn’t know about it beforehand, so don’t tell him you’re practicing or even hint at the surprise. Instead, whip it out at a totally unexpected moment and watch his eyes shine!

Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Here’s How...

I want to tell you about my friend Karen.

Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.

She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didn’t have satisfying sex.

Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldn’t orgasm during sex.

In fact...

She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!

This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed. And...

She completely hid this from her husband. Thankfully...

It turns out that there is a way for any woman to orgasm. Easily. And have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation.

I shared the process with Karen.

After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...

Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.

We met up a few months later and...

She would not stop talking about it,

“I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t orgasm. I used to think I was ‘broken’ and ‘unfixable.’ This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.”

Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating, this process will also work for you.

And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.

How To Give A Lap Dance That Will Drive Your Man Crazy | Pleasure Mechanics

If you've ever fantasized about mesmerizing your man with a slow striptease before sex, rest assured you're not alone.

Wanting to tap into your inner diva and mastering the art of seduction to sexy music is totally natural (not to mention incredibly sexy).

Foreplay is not only just a fun part of initiating sex, but it can actually be an incredible time to bond you to your partner — and what better way than by turning your man on by learning how to give a lap dance with the sexiest movements your hips can offer?

Men enjoy lap dances — but there’s more to it than just watching as you gyrate and dance. It can also be an incredibly freeing moment for you as well, and make you feel sexy and confident before you even touch each other.

But lap dances can also seem a bit intimidating, and that’s okay!

Those of us who aren’t skilled in dancing or have never given a lap dance before might not know where to start. But once you’ve got a good place to begin, you can have an incredible amount of fun learning how to lap dance and showing off your best moves.

RELATED: 5 Tried-And-True Foreplay Tips To Tease And Tempt Him

If you want to get your man hot and bothered as a special occasion or even as a new form of foreplay before things really take off in the bedroom, then lap dances can be an intimately fun way to initiate sex.

We know a thing or two about how couples can improve their sex lives and become better lovers, and sharing something as passionate as a lap dance can certainly make for an interesting evening together.

Lap dances should last as long as you want them to, depending on your level of comfort, your playlist, and the overall mood. While the cost of a lap dance typically varies at certain venues, it's totally cool to give your boyfriend a lap dance. (And if you want to charge him, that's up to you.)

One of the most common questions you might have before you start is: “How can I give my man the best lap dance of his life without seeming like an amateur?” And if you’d like to know the answer to that, keep reading!

How to Give a Lap Dance Like a Total Pro

1. Treat the lap dance like it's a (sexy) special occasion.

Lap dancing isn't an everyday activity, but a seductive gift you can offer your man for special occasions.

These days, people automatically assume that erotic dance is only for strip clubs and music videos, but it's so much more than that.

Imagine your lover being completely spellbound by your every move, quivering with desire, ready to follow your every command. Learn to lap dance, and you'll gain tremendous erotic power and confidence.

2. Practice your lap dance moves.

Long before you give your man a lap dance, start dancing for your own pleasure. Find a few songs that you think are sexy and seductive and then practice dancing to them, enjoying the way the moves feel in your body.

Ditch the mirror and don't worry about what looks sexy. Focus on what feels sexy to you.

One of our golden rules is "get out of your head, get into your hips!" Women spend too much energy worrying about how they look, what their lover is thinking and if they are performing adequately enough.

Take all of that energy and focus on how you feel. Bring the focus of your attention down into your body and notice the sensations of pleasurable movement.

Start with your hips. Place your hands on your hips and sway your hips left and right. Notice how your whole body curves in response. Then thrust your hips forward and notice how your spine arches. All of these bends and curves are crazy sexy.

Have a little extra flesh? Use it to your advantage and accentuate your curves as you bend and sway with the music.

Firmly put your hands on the arms of the chair. Sway your hips from side to side.

Next, find a song that you love dancing to. You can choose a fast, booty-thumping song that makes you feel feisty and alive. Or you may prefer a sensual dance to a slow love song.

Find the songs that make you feel most alive, most erotically charged and most ready to seduce your lover. Then dance to the song over and over again until you are at ease, moving your hips and swaying to the rhythm.

You don't have to choreograph a whole routine, just find a few good moves that feel sexy to you. The more confidence you have, the more desire you will build in your audience of one!

RELATED: 9 Exotic Dancers Offer Sexy Tips For The Perfect Strip Tease

3.

Get your space ready.

When you are ready to give your man a lap dance, take a few moments to prepare the space.

Clear the floor around your most comfortable chair. Imagine your man sitting in the chair, beaming at you with love and appreciation. Make sure you can walk all the way around the chair so you can dance in a 360-degree circle of seduction!

Dim the lights if you can or flood the room with candlelight. You may even want to buy colored light bulbs to create a new atmosphere. It doesn't take much to create the thrill of novelty!

Create an atmosphere that makes you feel sexy, seductive and in the mood to dance. As you prepare the space, start taking long deep breaths and get yourself in the zone.

4. Make sure your body and mind are in the zone.

What you wear for your lap-dancing performance is totally up to you.

You can go all out and dress up in your finest dress and high heels, go out on a date and give your lover a lap dance as dessert. Or you can hide gorgeous lingerie under casual clothes and surprise him on Sunday morning.

Make it your own. After all, a lap dance is an authentic expression of your sexuality!

You'll be getting very close and intimate with your lover, so take the time to take a long shower or bath and anoint yourself with a scent you love.

You'll feel more confident and relaxed if you take a few moments to tend to your body before you present yourself to your lover.

Set aside all worries about mundane life. Ditch your to-do lists. Mindfully step into the role of seductress.

Your only job for the next stretch of time is to feel so good in your body that you cast a spell, seducing your lover into your pleasure zone.

As much as you are giving a gift to your lover, you are also giving yourself the gift of a time to feel sexy, fully alive and sensually awake.

5. Build up the anticipation — it will drive him wild!

Don't tell your man what he has in store for him, but hint that you have something special to offer him. Let him wonder what's coming next.

Start your lap dance in whatever style you prefer. You can put the music on and strut your stuff.

Or just turn away, look over your shoulder as the song begins, wink at him and start to move. Whatever you do, commit fully.

Trust us, he is not going to evaluate your dance moves. He'll get excited at the opportunity to take in all of your beauty and will love the confidence in your body.

Don't worry about getting every move right and just let yourself have fun with it. Your own pleasure is the secret sauce that will make your lap dance the most memorable of his life.

So own your power, move for your own pleasure, and know that you are giving him the profound gift of watching your gorgeous body dance!

6. Ladies, strip tease it out.

Start far away from him, and time your approach with the song so the last few moves are right on his lap.

As you gain confidence, you can even create a playlist for a multi-song seduction, starting slow and working up to serious grinding on his lap. But to start, pick one sexy song and know that you have three to five minutes to give it your all.

From far away, make eye contact with him and slowly start moving into your dance. Then peel away one item of clothing at a time — or leave it all on! You can even combine striptease and lap dancing, and he will love it, no matter how nervous you are.

If it makes you feel more confident, leave all your clothes on and leave the undressing for later. Or strip down just to your lingerie. This is your expression, so do what makes you feel best.

As you move, slowly approach him and then back away. Then move around behind him, lightly stroking his hair and shoulders. Let him feel your breasts and hair graze the nape of his neck.

Then circle back around. Your goal is to tease him as much as possible, making him ache to touch you.

RELATED: I Learned How To Striptease For My Wife To Save My Marriage

7. Keep it simple.

You don't have to go crazy with your lap dance!

Once you have built up anticipation, start dancing closer to him. When you feel ready, let the climax of the lap dance begin.

Turn so you are facing away from him and slowly let your hips sink closer and closer to his lap. Whether he gets fully erect or not, remember that an erection is not a full measure of his arousal. So don't worry about how hard he is.

Here are four simple moves for once you are dancing in his lap:

1. Start by swaying your hips left and right.

This simple move is surprisingly powerful. Add a little dip by bending your knees as you sway.

Related Stories From YourTango:

We Tried A 7-Course Aphrodisiac Meal And The Post-Dinner Intimacy Was Insane

7 Secrets To Keep Your Marriage Steamin' Hot For A Very Long Time

10 Sexts To Send To Your Man That Will Make Him Orgasm Instantly

2. Lower your hips so they are just barely above his pants and then move your body in circles in time with the music.

3. Try a pelvic tilt by thrusting your hips forward and back.

Give your hips an extra push as you move back to make your booty bounce in a delicious way!

4. The fourth move you can try is a simple bounce squat.

Position yourself squarely above his lap and then squat quickly up and down, bouncing on his lap without ever making full contact. This move is a huge tease and turn-on. Play with speed; start with slow squats and then bring up the tempo until you are bouncing in the air, just above him.

Glance over your shoulder once in a while and make eye contact. He'll want to both look in your eyes and at your beautiful body — the desire to do both will be a delightful form of erotic tease!

8. Remember to finish the lap dance strong.

When you are ready to finish off as the song comes to an end, turn around so you are facing him, straddling one or both of his legs. Then do the same four moves: sway, thrust, circle and bounce.

Facing your lover means that your breasts (covered or not, they will still be a treat) will be at about face level. Use this to your advantage, and as you move your hips around his lap pay attention to all the delicious ways you can tease him.

When the song comes to an end, you have two choices. You can settle right into his lap and then let the charge take you into making out (and whatever other intimate activities you have on your mind!).

Or, you can get up and strut right out of the room, leaving him out of breath and dazzled by your presence. Remember, you are in charge!

9. Give your sexy self a pat on the back.

Choosing to give your lover a lap dance is a very powerful step toward more sexual confidence, in and out of the bedroom.

When you can accept the fact that you are gorgeous and a worthy object of his attention, you start to forget to care about the little imperfections and instead focus on the incredible pleasure your body can feel.

Lap dancing is a gift for both of you. Your lover gets the joy and arousal of watching you dance, and you get all of the pleasure of feeling like a powerful seductress.

Remember, start the journey by setting aside time to dance in private and bring your awareness to how much pleasure you can feel just by moving to one of your favorite songs.

Once you feel great and are ready to seduce your lover with a lap dance, follow the steps in this guide and you'll create a potent pleasure spell that is sure to transport you both.

RELATED: 14 Dirty Talk Phrases That Turn Men On

More for You:

The Pleasure Mechanics are a team of sex educators and touch experts dedicated to providing people around the world with the tools and strategies they need to experience maximum sexual pleasure. Their books and videos offer time-tested strategies based on human anatomy, psychology and an understanding of the social nature of human sexuality.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!

Read "Teach me to dance (SI)" - "Jeddy N." - Page 16

- Well, that's not bad either.

She paused, and I ventured a question:

- Tell me about yourself. You said you left the world because you didn't want to marry Francesco Sforza...

"I didn't say that," she smiled. - But you're right. I didn't want to be the puppet of that soulless, narcissistic scoundrel.

- Was he really cruel? nine0006

- Francesco, despite his youth, is an intriguer and scoundrel, which are few. He dreams of power and money, and the marriage between us, which my father agreed to, was to be an important political move. Francesco, like my husband, received land near Parma and Brescia, and in return he undertook simply not to touch the possessions of the Visconti, because his father helped the counts of Toscanelli, enemies of the Sforza. This reconciliation suited everyone ... except me. My tears touched my father, but the world from Sforza was more important for him than the experiences of his daughter. On the appointed day, Francesco Sforza called me his wife. I didn't love him. They said that he was handsome ... Perhaps, but there was no consolation for me in his beauty. He treated me well, was kind and considerate, understanding that our marriage was made against my will. But every time when the evening came, he came to me and spoke about his love ... it was unbearable. And then he lay down on top of me and took his own, invariably looking into my eyes. I was disgusted by what he did to me. I could not give in to his caresses, knowing that he came to me from the dungeons, where he had just cut prisoners with his own hands ... No, he did not do this often. He knows how to kill, but by killing he only creates a reputation for himself - they are afraid of him. A few words are enough for him to make people do what he wants. nine0006

- But he didn't hurt you, did he? - I was surprised.

- He was waiting for an heir. I knew that every day his patience would wear thin, and sooner or later he would reveal his true face to me. Not love, but only the expectation of procreation ... I hated him. A week after the wedding, I decided to run away. Returning to his father was pointless and dangerous, and there was nowhere else to go. However, I had one more hope...

- Did you go to Santa Giulia? nine0006

Constance nodded.

- Not immediately, of course. I heard that the abbess of Santa Giulia has died, and the Archbishop of Milan is looking for a worthy replacement for her. The Archbishop supported the Counts of Toscanelli, and I hoped that he would be able to help me. However, in addition to personal hostility to Sforza, something else was required with which I could convince the archbishop. Perhaps there is no better means of persuasion than gold ... so I decided that the price of my freedom must be paid at all costs. I took all my jewels and money, which Francesco kept in his study, and ran away from the castle, secretly taking the fastest horse. My calculation turned out to be correct: the archbishop received me kindly, he not only considered me worthy to take the place of the abbess of Santa Giulia, but also promised to keep the secret of my whereabouts. On the same day I was ordained to the san. ..

- That's why you live so alone in Santa Giulia! - burst out from me.

- Not because I am hiding, although because of this too. The charter of the order is strict and makes my task easier.

- In prison, the guards called you Baroness...

- They only know that I am from a noble family. But the same can be said about almost any abbess of a convent reporting to an archbishop or pope. Of late, it is true, these appointments have sometimes been given to influential courtesans...

- Do you think you committed a sin by running away from your husband? I asked after a pause.

- Running away from her husband, stealing money, going against the will of her father. This is probably a sin, but for some reason I don’t feel guilty, although every evening I ask God to forgive me. I heard that Francesco was not himself with rage and ordered to find me for a good reward. They didn't find me, so the archbishop kept his word... Now I'm almost happy, in any case, I have something for which it is worth continuing to live. I've found the peace I've been missing... and yet now I feel like I'm losing my peace. nine0006

- Why?

She looked at me carefully and did not answer, only smiled thinly. Did she have any feelings for me, except for carnal desire? Could I have hoped that there was something more than simple kindness in her smile?

- Why are you learning to dance? I asked to hide my embarrassment. "Aren't noble ladies taught music and dance from childhood?"

“I want to master this art to perfection,” she replied. - If you want, I'll ask Giuliano to teach you too. nine0006

- That would be great! I blurted out, and she laughed merrily.

- First you need to decide whether it will be useful to you or not.

- Constanta, I want to be able to do the same thing as you.

- Excellent. catch up!

She spurred her horse lightly and sped forward, urging me to follow her. Pressing into the saddle, I kicked my heels into the horse's flanks. A sudden movement almost threw me to the ground; yelling at the top of my voice, I grabbed the horse's mane, trying not to let go of the reins. The horse began to gallop, and soon I caught up with Constanza. Reaching out and deftly grasping the reins, she restrained the animal. nine0006

"Damn, it won't take long to get hurt," she said disapprovingly. I straightened my dress and smiled wryly:

- I never had my own horse. And I sit in the saddle for the second time in my life.

- You will learn.

She started the horse again. I silently followed her, lost in my own thoughts. Suddenly she stopped. Raising my head, I saw three strong men standing on the path in front of us. One of them had something like a hefty sickle in his hands, the other two grinned wickedly, playing with knives. nine0006

- Little boy, did you steal your bride from the monastery? boomed the fellow with the sickle, trying to take Constanza's horse by the bridle. The animal backed away, obedient to the hand of the mistress, and the robber grabbed only emptiness.

- Is it now illegal to steal brides? asked Constance softly. - I stole it, and now I'm looking for a priest who will marry us.

- Trickster! The guy with the knife chuckled. - You must be a thief.

- And you, by the way, are not a priest, since you read sermons to me? nine0006

- Maybe so. Come with us, we will marry you nicely ... By the way, I like you much more than your bride, boy. Maybe I would marry you myself...

- What about your vow? Against the temptation of the flesh there is an excellent remedy, and inexpensive, by the way. This is where your knife would come in handy...

The guy's face turned purple, and his friends laughed.

"Good joke, boy," the bandit with the sickle said laughing. "Now get off your horse and give us your wallet." The same goes for the ladies. We will let you walk away unscathed, as long as you stay calm. nine0006

"It's very unusual for me to travel on foot," Constance shrugged. “I don’t have any money, so I have nothing to share with you.

The robbers stopped grinning and stepped forward menacingly. Constance casually placed her hand on the hilt of her sword.

- Don't waste my time. I won't joke anymore.

Her voice was firm and determined, lower than usual. She really looked like a young man now. The bandits, apparently, were not in the mood to retreat so easily. A boy and a nun would not be a serious hindrance, and two horses seemed like good prey. The leader put a sickle in front of him. nine0006

- Get off nicely, I don't want to hurt you or your girlfriend.

The sword flew out of its scabbard with a dry clang and flashed a bluish lightning in the rays of the sun.

- Come on, be braver.

The robbers were confused for a moment, then the guy with the knife, who was not averse to "marrying" Constanza, rushed forward. An almost imperceptible wave of the hand, a graceful tilt - and the attacker fell to his knees, clutching his pierced throat. Blood spattered from his neck, he wheezed and rolled over on his side, twitching his arms and legs in his death throes. I felt sick and quickly averted my eyes. nine0006

Read "Teach me to dance (SI)" - "Jeddy N." - Page 1

Teach me to dance

Jeddy N

How cold... It's always so dark and cold here, and the horror cuts through the bones more than the pain, and the pain... well, I almost got used to it for all these days, which I had long lost count of. An unrepentant heretic is a worse accusation than a thief or a murderer. What did you have to do to deserve all this? Just get in the way of a wicked priest? nine0006

I startle when something quickly touches my bare leg. Rat! The skin from the ankles is torn off, the exposed flesh attracts vile creatures that scurry through the darkness among the rotten straw and sewage. They get under my clothes, and every time I'm afraid to fall asleep, because there will be no one to drive them away. Two crazy old women, a thin girl, and a gloomy overgrown man in the corner, who, in my memory, did not utter a word - that's all the company that I have to be content with. But they are better than jailers and executioners... On the first day, when they grabbed me and dragged me to prison, three people raped me, casting lots on the queue. I have never been considered a beauty in my village, but here it seems that the attractiveness of a woman does not matter. My parents and younger sister died of the plague, I was left alone and did not expect gifts from life, but it turned out to be too hard, much harder than I was ready to accept ...

I was praying, but these scoundrels only laughed, offering to console me. My torment continued for another three days, until finally they got a new victim: the fair-haired Sophia was thrown into prison on charges of witchcraft. To her misfortune, she turned out to be attractive, and every time I thought with horror how much longer she could stand before death took pity on her. It seems to me that she went crazy from torture and humiliation ... It was ridiculous to assume that this girl could practice witchcraft! I have seen sorceresses, but at least two old witches who sat with me in the cell - their muttering could make anyone shudder. Even the jailers crossed themselves in fear when the old women simply looked at them. nine0006

When I was little, my father once took me and my sister to Piacenza, where witches were executed. "Cleansing by fire," that's what they called it. Yes, only it was an ordinary death, they were roasted alive, worse than pigs, because pigs are still slaughtered before roasting. For a long time I still dreamed at night of their white hoodies, twisting and blackening in the fire, their terrible screams, bursting skin on their faces turned to the sky ... These were my first nightmares, and it was they that turned me to God, for the first time making me think about what happens to souls after death. I firmly decided that I would live in such a way as to avoid torment. nine0006

There was only one church in our city, which stood in the central square, with a cracked copper bell and an eternally drunk ringer, but the priest, Monsignor Roscoe, was a modest and pious man, besides, he loved children. He told me about God and taught me how to pray, and then gave me a small book of psalms. My father asked him to teach me how to read and write, so by the age of ten I was already literate and could even read some Latin. Monsignor Roscoe praised me and said that if I had been born not in the family of a furrier, but in a palace, then in a few years I would have become the abbess of some monastery. I knew too little about the monks, and it was enough for me that Padre Roscoe allowed me to borrow books from his library from time to time, and it was possible to pray in the church as well as in the abbey. nine0006

One day I was taking a book to the Padre and found him, as was often the case, at the altar, deep in thought. He did not turn around at the sound of my steps, and I had to call out to him:

- Monsignor ...

He shuddered and raised his head, and then I saw tears running down his bristly cheeks.

- Laura, my child...

- I brought you a book, - I whispered timidly. I desperately wanted to touch his face to see if he really was crying. nine0006

- Yes, leave her here on the bench. If you want, pray with me.

I knelt beside him.

- What are you asking the Lord, padre?

- I have nothing more to ask from Him, little one, except for the strength to pass the tests that He sends. He was silent for a moment, then spoke very softly. - And a pure heart to keep faith in Him...

Later I learned that his wife was killed the day before when she was returning home from her mother. She was a good woman who did no harm to anyone, beautiful and smart, and yet she was killed, taking away a purse with three ducats, which she had with her. Padre Rosco was beside himself with grief, and less than a year later he died, unable to bear the separation from the one he truly loved. nine0006

He was replaced by a new priest, Padre Ostellati, who arrived from Rome with the blessing of His Holiness the Pope. He was said to be a learned and energetic man, able to prosper the affairs of the church in our parish. It was difficult for me to judge this, but very soon the padre really began to act. First of all, he obliged all merchants to pay church tax, increased the payment for the sacraments and began to sell absolution, which Monsignor Roscoe had never done before. My father, laughing, said that all the rich would definitely go to heaven, if they were willing to pay, but the poor would have to not sin during their lifetime. nine0006

Padre Ostellati was a busy man, and one look at his stern face was enough to understand that he would not bother with a stupid girl, wasting his time teaching her Latin! Coming to church, I prayed, confessed and took communion, as if fulfilling a joyless duty. The Padre constantly spoke about the danger of sin and persistently asked what I would like to repent of. I was twelve years old, I considered myself far from an angel, so I repented of everything that seemed to me unworthy deeds. It seems that my confessions irritated him: once again listening that I had fallen into the sin of gluttony, having eaten a whole bowl of candied nuts, or the sin of envy, looking at my sister’s new shoes, or the sin of pride, thinking that I could read better than my neighbor boys, Padre Ostellati abruptly said that the main virtues of a young girl are modesty, chastity and humility, and sins are atoned for by prayer and repentance. From time to time he asked me if I was guilty of carnal sin, but I did not understand him very well. nine0006

Considering myself an ugly girl, I spent a lot of time reading and doing household chores, or simply went out of town to sit alone on the river bank, watching stems and branches lazily floating on the water, or, lying in thick grass, looking at the lungs fluffy clouds in high azure. My parents did not approve of my love of solitude, and my father said that sooner or later someone would take advantage of this, but I grew up a savage. All the efforts of my mother to marry me were unsuccessful: intimacy with a man frightened me, for me this was the sin that Padre Ostellati warned about above all others. Most of the guys in my circle thought I was either too smart or too ugly, so they didn't bother me too much. nine0006

Once the son of a potter, my peer, once again laughed at my gait and said that there were people like me on fire. From his words, goosebumps ran down my spine: I knew very well that even one false denunciation is enough for the witch to be in prison, on the rack and at the stake.


Learn more

.