Marshall dancing how i met your mother

How I Met Your Mother: The 10 Best Song and Dance Moments

There aren’t many network sitcoms that can boast the breadth and awesomeness of How I Met Your Mother‘s song and dance routines. It’s a tradition the CBS series plans to continue as it kicks off its seventh season this Monday at 8/7c with a big Robin and Barney musical number. Judging by this video preview, another legendary performance is in the works.

To celebrate the show’s latest foray into musical territory, TVLine has compiled a list of HIMYM‘s 10 Best Song and Dance Moments — and there were plenty to choose from!

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10. How I Met Your Theme Song
Episode: “Hopeless, Season 6 | The cast rocks out, performing the show’s infinitely hummable theme song, which was written by creators Craig Thomas and Carter Bays. Nice touch knocking over the microphone, Ted.

9. Dirty Dancing With Barney
Episode: “First Time in New York,” Season 2 | Neil Patrick Harris gets superimposed into the iconic ’80s film as Barney recalls the (fake) tale of how he lost his virginity. Check out the wizardry it took to pull off the moment below. Color us impressed by – and nostalgic over – the work of the HIMYM special effects department.

HIMYM: Neil Patrick Harris, Cobie Smulders Preview Barney and Robin’s New Love Square

8. “Super Date”
Episode: “Of Course,” Season 5 | Hey, Neil Patrick Harris isn’t the only one in this cast with pipes. After you get past the foreign translation below, Josh Radnor shows off his very smooth voice as he sweeps Barney away with visions of a super date. The old-school movie-musical magic is undeniable.

7. Barney’s Naughty Holiday Songs
Episode: “Little Minnesota,” Season 4 | With each Christmas visit of Ted’s sister, Barney shows off just how much he wants to get into her pants by changing the words of well-known holiday songs. Anybody who can make a Hanukkah ditty sound dirty deserves props.

Promo for How I Met Your Mother‘s Big Premiere Raises Big Questions

6. “Stand By Me”
Episode: “Cleaning House,” Season 6 | Two guys who know something about vocals – Ben Vereen and Wayne Brady – duet as Barney’s brother (Brady) finally meets his dad. It’s hard to tell in the video, but the best part of Barney shoving his way into their sweet reunion song is Cobie Smulders desperately trying – and failing – to keep a straight face through Harris’ over-the-top performance.

5. “Best Night Ever”
Episode: “The Sexless Innkeeper,” Season 5 | Marshall’s double date ditty gets the music video treatment in an homage to Extreme’s “More than Words.” In fact, the band’s very own Nuno Bettencourt makes an appearance. To sum it up: Are you free next Saturday?

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4. “Sandcastles in the Sand” & “Two Beavers Are Better Than One
Episodes: “Sandcastles in the Sand, Season 3;Glitter, Season 6 | This pair of follow-up Robin Sparkles songs aren’t quite up to par with “Let’s Go to the Mall,” only because the first song was so awesome, it’s nearly impossible to top. But the presence of Tiffany, Alan Thicke and a surprisingly game James Van Der Beek – remember, this was way before his Funny or Die venture – more than makes up for the temporary foray into semi-serious balladry. Meanwhile, it’s just difficult to listen to “Two Beavers Are Better Than One” — the unintentionally dirty theme song to a children’s show — without grinning. We can’t wait to see what other sparkly treasures Barney uncovers in the future.

3. “You Just Got Slapped”
Episode: “Slapsgiving, Season 3 | Marshall commemorates his third slap with an Elton John-esque song, and Barney brilliantly joins in with some pained “ohs” and “ahs.” As if that wasn’t awesome enough, the show also released a music video of Jason Segel singing the tune in a Vegas-worthy white suit as a butler brings him a cocktail and a fur coat. Then, to top it off, the song got a remix for Slap Bet the board game in Season 5. Fun fact: Harris directed the board game tag to prep for his HIMYM directing debut later that season.

2. “Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit”
Episode: “Girls Versus Suits,” Season 5 | The show’s 100th episode featured a musical number so big, it quite possibly topped Robin Sparkles in sheer scope. With dozens of background dancers, some intricate choreography by Glee‘s Zach Woodlee – please don’t fall off the cab, Neil! – and a fantastic song, the cast and crew bite off quite a challenge and more than deliver on it. Plus, the word “refute” has never sounded better.

1. “Let’s Go to the Mall”
Episode: “Slap Bet,” Season 2 | Was there every any doubt what would top our list? Robin Sparkles’ first appearance came as such an unexpected and hilarious surprise, this is one spoiler we’re glad never leaked. Everything from the lyrics to the dance moves to the ’80s kitsch is so infectious, it makes you want to dig out your old jelly bracelets, find two strangers named Jessica and Tori, and hit the mall.

Bonus: Marshall Dancing

Episode: OK Awesome, Season 1 | We just couldn’t bring ourselves not to include this moment from an old Season 1 favorite. Once you see Marshall bust a move, you’ll understand why.

HIMYM fans, did we snub one of your favorites? Sound off in the comments!

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TAGS: CBS, Cobie Smulders, How I Met Your Mother, Neil Patrick Harris

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Popular Marshall Eriksen Quotes - Page 8

Do you still wanna? That's like the lamest proposal ever!

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Marshall: Hi, we need a marriage license but we need to skip the waiting period because we're in love.
Clerk: Aaww..I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now!
Lily: Really!?
Clerk: Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period but unfortunately only a judge can do that.
Lily: Oh, so can we see a judge?
Clerk: Absolutely!
Lily: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't.
Marshall: Why are you doing this to us?
Clerk: Because you're on ... Candid Camera!
Robin: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say...
Marshall: You know what, we get it.

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Ted: Wha...I don't get it! Why won't Robin tell me why she hates malls?
Barney: Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal "Ohhh..." moment.
Marshall: The "Ohhh..." moment?
Barney: Yeah. That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker

  • Permalink: Wha...I don't get it! Why won't Robin tell me why she hates mall...
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Barney: (After being slapped by Marshall) Your hands are monsterous.
Marshall: What did you expect? You've seen my penis.

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Ted: What are you doing here, Lily let you go?
Marshall: Lily? Psshh, who cares, right?
Ted: You are so dead.
Marshall: Oh, I'm so dead

  • Permalink: What are you doing here, Lily let you go? Lily? Psshh, who car...
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When you walk through the door, does it feel like you are being slapped in the face by Christmas?

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Robin: I've never been to the Empire State Building before, but I'm glad I waited.
Lily: I haven't been to the Empire State Building either, but I'm glad I get to go with my fiancée.
Marshall: And I signed an abstinence pledge in high school, and it's totally cool. Also, stay away from drugs... except pot.

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Marshall: But just to make sure it records, maybe we should bow our heads and say a quiet prayer to the TiVo gods.
Ted: Almighty TiVo, We thank you for all the gifts you have given us. The power to freeze live TV to go take a leak is nothing short of god-like. And let's not forget fast-forwarding through commercials. It seems greedy to ask anything more from you, o magic box, but if you malfunction and miss the Super Bowl, we will destroy you in the alley with baseball bats.
Marshall and Ted: Amen.

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Marshall: The broken windows?
Lily: We had to make it look realistic!
Marshall: Well why did you break two of them?
Robin: looked like fun when she did it so I wanted to try.
Marshall: I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy

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Ted: Dude... you shaved your fricking head?
Marshall: Yeah! Yeah, but it's good. I'll just shave it all off. What a great solution! Just be bald, cos it's cool, right? Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan, Britney Spea- [looks in mirror] Oh, God, what did I do!? How could you let me shave my head!?
Ted: What!?
Marshall: You're the worst best man ever! I hate you!

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Lily: We should come up with a whole new last name.
Marshall: Oh, that's easy; Lily and Marshall Skywalker.
Lily: Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff.
Marshall: Oh, got it. Lily and Marshall Awesome. Have you met our children, our son Totally and our daughter Freaking?

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Marshall: Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Ted and Lily: I will not have sex with Marshall

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HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

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You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

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How I Met Your Mother

Ted *Dr. X* Mosby

Shouldn't we be with people who don't just tolerate our shortcomings, but who really like them.

- You're staring at my chest!
"In my defense, it's your chest staring at me."

— Did you really think that I want to kill you?
- Something like that.
“Ted, what nonsense, for this I would invite you to my hunting lodge, it is in the middle of nowhere, and I don’t have to worry that you will be caught by stinking fishing nets.
“That's what you're scaring me with. Well, why do you say so?
— I'm just kidding, so as not to lose shape. You know, I don't always get along with Zoey's young friends, but I thought we could get along.
“Of course we can. Just not on a boat.
- I agree, the hunting lodge is just right.

So there is no point in love. There is no logical explanation for why people love each other, love is meaningless. But we must love, otherwise love will perish, and we will be alone, and then humanity will disappear. Love is the best we have! It's terribly trite, but it's true... and there's no need to look for meaning where there shouldn't be.

Hey, you just lost your "I love you" virginity.

When you hang out in a noisy, crowded bar, you can always tell the difference between singles and couples. You just need to pay attention to the signs. Singles stay on their feet for agility, and couples, tired of just leaving the house, tend to be obsessed with finding a place to sit. There are many other signs as well, ranging from the choice of social lubrication to the basic features of body language. The point is that there are many ways to determine which person has the life force of a bachelor and which has a steamy coma.

- I bet you can draw. You should draw me.
- Well, I can try, but you can become like a medieval three-story building.

You just insulted someone I hate by mentioning something I like. Damn, you're getting more and more attractive!

And this is the most hypocritical thing: even if you save every tree in the forest so that the forest does not turn into a parking lot, where will you park your car?

Feelings at a distance are the lies that teenagers tell each other to sleep in the summer before college.

My company is designing an executive lobby for a tobacco company. I am on the side of cancer in the fight against cancer.

We are always waiting for signs from the Universe, but, in fact, we see only what we want to see and when we are really ready for it.

Kids, the secret of successful dating is very simple: be confident in yourself, don't stress yourself out, and don't put yourself in someone else's shoes.

- Two hells. We will be forever young!
- Are you sure? Because it seems like at least once a year we are reminded of the exact opposite.

But we are not friends! We are two people who pretend to be friends because it would be embarrassing not to be.

— You picked the wrong guy! You picked the wrong guy. You made a very, very, very bad choice. What were you thinking? This guy, are you kidding me? Haven't you learned anything in the last 8 years? You'll regret it and you know it, right? You'll regret it, but there's nothing you can do about it because it's too late. All you can do now is go up there and live your disappointed life, which is nowhere near as happy as you could live with me. Goodbye.
- Ted, wait...
- Stella, listen, I'm not here to bring you back; I'm here to make sure you understand that you've made the biggest mistake of your life.
- I understand.
- Excellent.

The comfort of home is slightly broken when your children's room is turned into a temple of tantric sex, where it smells of marijuana, and my soldiers probably already have flashbacks that they are back in Vietnam.

You can't say "Chur my" to a girl I'm sitting here thinking about, and maybe I'll risk talking about!

Paying for food is racist.

— Don't you think it's strange that Robin is still friends with Barney?
“It seems strange to me that we are all still friends with Barney!

- Shall we go out to dinner on Saturday?
I'm getting married on Saturday!
“Then Friday?”

Hell, if a cockroach and a rat found their love in this city, why can't I?

Robin, I certainly respect your help, but there's a reason your name is Robin and not Batman.

— Ted, what is this?
- It's a rain dance...
— No, it's a fat kid with a bee in his shorts.

- The worker transfer room is the space where the boss and subordinate carry out the transfer of information about the upcoming change in the professional paradigm.
— Uh…
— People get fired here…

Barney *wait, wait* Stinson

Legend.. wait, wait.. darn!

It's so romantic! I want to fill a pillow with dead batteries and beat you with it.

It's hard for me to have friends because I'm so awesome.

Everyone I know gets married and gets pregnant. I'm just getting tougher.

Any of your deeds in life will never become legendary if you do not have your friends next to you.

Since this is the case, I want to be honest. I will lie to you. I will, trust me. But only in order to make a wonderful surprise. I'll stun you and wrap you around my finger. And for you it will be just like snow on your head.

Give me some tape! Normal, American Scotch from Scotland!

Lily is a diabolical puppeteer who skillfully manipulates any situation to get what she wants. She's pure evil, Marshall. You are very lucky to have her, don't lose her.

— I understand that it is hard for you now, but one day you will fall in love again. Time can heal your broken heart, but the broken window of this bitch is unlikely ... Let's go!

She is trusting and I am bored. We are the perfect fit!

- Barney and I still don't agree on everything about our wedding. I want a buffet, and he wants to ride a grizzly bear up the aisle.
- But he will be in a tuxedo! .. All right, all right, let him be a panda, but call my tailor yourself. He will be furious!

- You know what - that was four years ago, she must have been engaged or married already ... or, God forgive me, fat!

Maybe I don't want to be spared disappointment, maybe I want to be disappointed. I haven't wanted anything this much in a long time. And with you, disappointments don't seem so disappointing.

— Perhaps I can still stay?
“I would, but I don’t have any more rooms.
“But you live in a two-bedroom apartment, you have a whole room just for your suits!”
- I am now at this stage of my life journey, when the costumes are my family!

Somebody give him a drink, he starts thinking again.

Your problem is that you are always thinking, thinking, thinking. And I teach you to do, do, do.

- The only tool I know how to use is a part of me, and I'm not going to put it on the telly... again.

But I'm not shy. In my body, in the place where the glands of shame should be, are the glands of amazingness. And it is true.

- You have a cold.
- No, I'm fine. It's just that my nose is dripping with excess of my coolness, and I need to throw it out a little.

— What? We are under oath.
- Not. Do you even know what an oath is?
- Oh yeah. This is the courthouse. And we are under his roof.

Together we will own this city. If any girl wants revenge on her ex, we'll be there! If any girl wants to solve her father's problems with a promiscuous lifestyle and drinking, we'll be there! If any girls in a bachelorette party drive around the city in a limo, leaning out of the hatch, and shouting: "What's up, New York?", we'll be these cases, New York!

You can do so many wonderful things with your mouth, why waste it talking?

— Well, you want to be Robin's boyfriend, don't you?
“Yes, calmly, calmly. Wait, wait, I don't want to be her boyfriend.
“Well, then what do you want?”
- Well I do not know. I just want to be with her all the time, I want her to tell me how her day went, and I would tell about mine, I want to hold her hand, smell her hair ... But I don't want to be any dumb guy.

I don't want to sound like a tearful romantic, but this weekend Robin will be the only one I'm roasting.

— How can your parents not know about me? After all, I'm your best friend.
- Actually, Marshall ..
But I am the most important person in your life.
— Actually Robin..
— But I'm irresistible...

A girl is something like a severe flu: it goes away after a couple of weeks of bed rest.

- I'm not a smoker! I only smoke on special occasions: after sex; when there are German women nearby; sometimes these events coincide; during sex; for a birthday; before sex: on a yacht; well, or if you hear "I'm pregnant!"
- Why are you smoking now?
“I'm always in a pre-sex state.

I know it's scary to bet on yourself. But if you don't do it, no one will do it for you.

The face is fine, so to speak,
And you can play with breasts,
But I wouldn't fall for it.

This is a complete bummer. After all, when I run away from a girl, I sleep with her out of politeness. This is called "good manners".

This is a sad day for New York, sad indeed. Do you know what I saw on the way here? The girl in the sweater! Do you know what that means? Nudity season is over!

The only difference between my real life and porn is that the lighting in real life is better.

Hugging is public sex in clothes.

- Every woman, no matter how dumb she is, has a mermaid watch - the time during which you understand what you want to insert into her ...

Plump cheeks, smeared mascara, reddish nose - she recently cried. So sad, defenseless... Does anyone have a condom?

— I need to sleep with a girl at least three times to even think about calling her to a restaurant.

- The piece of clothing is so lovely that it makes my trousers feel tight.

That's how it all starts. First, Robin goes to Don, then Marshal and Lily have a baby, and then Ted is found in his apartment, eaten by cats. Everyone is leaving me, and I don't like it!

- Please, please, please, return, please, Marshall, let me answer. Maybe it's something urgent, all of a sudden she's stuck in a giant bra.

— I don't understand what Ted saw in this terrible woman. Well, that is, yes, she has buffers, but ... Although, you know, that's enough.

— I can't stop staring at that girl's face.
“A face… You haven’t called a buffer like that yet.

So why not fry someone who really needs it during this festive season?

Three days! Before calling a woman, we wait three days, because that's what Jesus commanded.

My brother and I are just twins. He's just a Negro. And 15 centimeters lower. And almost bald. And gay. And so - the spitting image of me, guys, well, just one face!

— You won't tell him, will you?
- Not. This is the code of brotherhood. A brother does not tell a common brother that the third brother has a crush on him. Just like the third brother does not tell the common brother that the real brother has made a fool of himself by undressing in front of him. This is the essence of the profession of a bro.

— Did you sleep with her sister?
- Not.
Did you sleep with her mom?
- Not!
- Not?! I have completely lost interest in your story!

Do you want to break up with a girl? Six words: you look fat in those jeans. And that's it, you're free.

Robin *Sparkles* Scherbatsky

— I'm crazy. Why do you still like me?
"I guess because you're as crazy as me."

— Tell me, is the trace of Marshall's slap no longer visible?
“A fortune teller can tell Marshall's future by the look on your cheek.

— Farewell, my dear and faithful friends! You always found time for me! I will miss...
- He's talking to a porno.

— But in the end, I realized that in love, sometimes you need to be able to retreat.
- Well, not always. Sometimes it's better to step in and ruin all the raspberries, right?
— And I think that you need to be able to be happy for those who are not indifferent to you, even if you yourself end up overboard.
- What? I'm not some kind of animal. I peeed 20 minutes ago and I dug it in carefully, I'm a lady.

- Quiet, calm down, I found Jennette McIntyre, thrice widow. Apparently she kills her husbands.
— Not this! They are in the sixth minute of their date, and Ted has most likely confessed his love to her. You need to go to them!

— Looks like you and I are alone.
- Truth?
“Actually, I was talking to a martini.

— Um, no. You just want Lily to be miserable.
The truth is, she's happy.
- Believe me. I have known Lily for nine years.
- Believe me. I am a girl.
- Yes. But you are Canadian.

- Quinn asked me to be her bridesmaid. Doesn't it bother her that you and I met?
“Queen is not the least bit jealous. She has nerves of steel. She...
“Knowing knows nothing.
- Exactly.

— So, wait, are you going with him to Valentine's Day? I thought we had plans.
- What kind? Get drunk and go clean the apartment? Were these our plans?
“I didn’t say, by the way, that the plans were good.

— Look, I have some feelings for you, Barney. Maybe I even love you.
“Ahh, so hold on to the horses, dear!”
- What?
“We are very good friends, why ruin our friendship? Friends?
- Friends!
- Yes, my God, yes again, you beat me up again!
- No it is not true!
- No, she blew it! You little mean girl!
- Okay, you're right, I beat you up.
Why are you so afraid to give yourself this chance?
"Because I'm scared how much I like you!"
— Oh oh oh, this is no good...
You're right, it's a mistake!
— Yes...
- No, I love you!
- Let's be friends!
- Good friends!
- I love you!
- Let's get married!
- Don't take me by the gills!
— Okay, forget it...

— Where does she live?
“If we're talking about the girl who thrashed Barney Stinson, I'm assuming it's in Narnia!”

Have you ever had that, at least once, you know, when nothing normally happens, but by the end of the day you have no idea who you are and what the hell are you doing with your life?

- I used to believe in fate. When I went to the bakery and noticed a beautiful girl in line who was reading my favorite novel or whistling a song that I couldn’t get out of my head for a week, I thought: “Wow, what if she’s my soulmate?” And now I think: "Well, the infection will take the last bagel. " I stopped believing. It seems to me that every day I believe less and less. And it's unfortunate. What should I do, Shcherbatsky?
- Well, you're Ted Mosby. Start believing again.
— Into what? To fate?
- Attraction. If there is attraction, there is only one thing left to do.
- And what?
- Believe in chance. However, the case is still that bitch.

How is Barney feeling?
Are you talking about this aching bottomless well that always needs something? Anyway, he got me and I put some codeine in his tea.
- Oh, you will be a wonderful mom!

— And how was your first graduation?
“Here, tell me. I hate my dress, the guy who invited me got drunk and threw up all over me, there was a big fight and I kissed a girl.
Well, in short, it was graduation!

- Do you want to talk like an adult? I just slapped my ass while reporting live.
— Oh, finally there is at least one good channel.

— I know what you're thinking: "I wish I were a man. .!"..
- If only you were a man.

The most important thing in Angry Birds is to always try to anticipate all possible outcomes and bash the pigs with rocks or something...

The future is really scary, but you can't go back to the past just because you know everything there. The opportunity is tempting, but ... It's impossible.

- Oh. Looks delicious, I'll go and get myself ...
- We've run out of milk.
“But I saw a bottle in the fridge.
- It's empty.
- Well, throw it away.
- The trash can is full.
- So take out the trash.
- I eat cereal!
- You know, when I offered you to become my neighbor, I thought: "She's a girl, she's neat," but no! you are an ogre from the revenge of half-witted!

It's like cigarettes. You smoke one while drunk and think it's okay, but before you know it, you're already buying a block a week.

- I don't want to shoot a deer.
“Nonsense, Robin Jr. Deer hunting is a noble occupation.
“But they are so cute.
“The same thing you said about rabbits. But remember how delicious they were?

- Five years ago, you wouldn't have thought to sacrifice your career for love. Well, you did it today.
“Maybe I’ve become dumber.
No, you've gotten stronger.

— Lily and I have been dating for 9 years!
- Oh ... Your relationship went to 4th grade.

What's in the box? WHAT'S IN THE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE BOX? What didn't you know? Brad Pitt, the movie "Seven"?! Does not look like it? Okay, I'm stupid.

Lily Lapushka

- Do you want a cookie?
- Yes.
Did you take a cookie from a stranger on the train? And you are very trusting. There could be drugs or poison in there.
But they're not there, are they?
— I have no idea, I found them under my seat

You get older, have kids, stop stealing, it's sad.

So guys, wanna talk about bitches? I'm kidding. They are called "women".

You want to say goodbye to a lot of things on this list, but there are a lot of good things here. Better say goodbye to everything bad: to how you used to go astray, to how you were denied, to all the troubles, hardships, with all this pain in your heart. Say goodbye to something that should never happen again.

Support is important in marriage, not being right. With a happy wife, you're happy with yourself!

The biggest mistake is not to make a mistake. Because you will live your life like this, not knowing what a mistake is.

- Believe me, we will not become one of those who turn into zombies with the advent of a child.
“Yeah, Robin, we're not one of those... who, with the advent of zombies... turns into a child.

You're like that goat with the towel, you know? You crave it so much that every time the world tries to take it away from you, you cling to it with all your might. It's actually just a towel! Why do you even need it?

- You deleted the number. ..
“I tried, but that little thing popped up on the phone and said, “Are you sure?” And I wasn't sure! I can't lie on the phone!

You like him, he likes you, so be together! Mother, it's so easy to be happy!

A man misses his daughter's graduation. Later, she finds out that he used her babysitting money to release the game Who Stole Babysitter's Paycheck? He didn't understand the irony.

— Satisfied? You got the big guy on top.
— Yeah, I'm sure God cares that I...
- (voice from above) Say it again, young man, I will turn off your water!
This is my landlord, after all. He lives above me.

You know, Barney, for anyone else this would be a new level of meanness, but unfortunately for you it's only the middle.

- Dude, she's going to cry.
“It's the law of love, you idiot.

I’ll star with a star in the chl:) ear.

How can you love Robin and still sleep with everything that moves?
— I'm sorry, I don't get your idea. ..

— I wish I could watch this movie as soon as possible!
- The movie is just great! Purely hypothetically, do you like movies where the characters suddenly die at the end?
- Yes.
- You will be delighted!

- Throwing a bouquet is just a moronic tradition!
"So, you're not going to do this at your wedding, then?"
“Yeah, hell, I’m going to take this flower grenade and throw it into the crowd, and then yell: “Crawl after him, bitches!”.

Ted, honey, please go outside, find the wall and kill yourself. We'll be there in a minute.

— Come on, guess what's behind me!
- Wait, wait, now I'll guess - in the left!
- Not “in which hand?”, But guessed it!

Robin, he's just a baby, he doesn't bite. Well, he might bite, but we're working on it.

I think I just experienced my first... burgasm.

- Lily Aldrin, quickly sat down and ate 20 pies! Don't peck them! Attack them! Come on, Lily, you can eat better!
- I can not!
“Well then, eat faster, before your body realizes that it won’t fit any more!”
— I'm trying. ..
- Are you going to cry? Skinny little nurse going to cry? Come on, come on!

— Ted, what's wrong with your jacket?
— What is it?
“Looks like someone spilled a vial of magnificence on him!”

If you have sex again, none of you will get dessert!

- This is not an adventure - this is a big mistake!
- Okay, it's a mistake, but there are many things in your life where you know it's a mistake, but you don't really know it's a mistake, because the only way to know it's a mistake is to make that mistake. . And then look back and say, "Ah, yes, that was a mistake." Therefore, in fact, the biggest mistake is not to make this mistake, because you will suffer all your life whether it was a mistake or not. Does it make sense if I've lived my entire life without error?
“I didn’t understand anything because you said the word “mistake” too many times.

- You need to find out the relationship!
— Lily, we are happy without it!
- No, you are not happy, you only think that you are happy, because you feel happy!
"Uh, isn't that happiness?"
- Of course not!!!

Sweet Marsh

— I grew up completely healthy!
“Marshall, this morning you thought a ghost made you toast.
“I didn’t get bread!” You didn't get it either!!

- And if I could sleep with a star, I would sleep with Lily. She is the star of my heart.
“Oooh, how cute, and I would fry Hugh Jackman!”

Which club should we go to first? Club "Was", "Wrong Club"...
These clubs have been closed for a long time.
- Oh no!
“Oh no” is also closed.
- Where is the club?
- "Where"?
- Where"?
"Where" is where it was, isn't it?
- No, the club "Was" is not where it was. "Was" was where "Wrong" was, right?
- OK.
- Not ok. It sucks.
- "Okay" - "Sucks"? I thought, "Sucks" is gaybar, or is it "Wrong"?
- Wrong, it's not Wrong.
Guys, let's get to the point.
- I like it in the "Essence". Let's go there.
- Where?
- In "The Essence"!
“I thought The Essence was closed.
- No, "Was" was closed. Once the club "Was" was closed, but it was reopened as "Closed".
— So, "Closed" is open?
— No, "Closed" is closed.
- What's the difference? Let's go to the break!
— The Disengagement is full of students.
"I'll go anywhere, okay?"
- Not ok. "OK" sucks.
- "Okay" - not "Sucks." "Sucks" is gaybar.
- Guys, be quiet.
- Not. Tikho was also closed.
I can't believe I don't know any club anymore!
- Guys, let's choose a club already, okay?
- Just not "OK".
By the way, I happened to be there one day. And it seems to be pronounced like "Wait."
- Hopeless, huh?

- Swear you won't tell anyone. On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad. Lily asked if she could have my olives. I said, "Of course I hate olives."
“But you like olives!?”
- Good! I was eighteen, I was a virgin! I've been waiting all my life for a pretty girl who wants my olives!

- Marshall, please don't do this. Well don't jump!
“Forgive me, Lily, but I have to.
- You can not!
- Why?
- Do you want to know why? I'll tell you: because I'm pregnant.
“Oh my god, is that true, Lily? That is, of course, I noticed that recently you have gained several kilograms ...
“Oh, you bastard, but I just lied to you. Go, bastard, jump down and fall!

Bro, you're driving an "I want to have sex with her" truck and it has a huge blind spot.

— Do you want to go right now and have sex?
- Want!
"Do you want to finish your bacon first?"
“You are the perfect woman, Lily!”

Marshal: It's very difficult for a kid to show class under such pressure...
Barney: ...said Marshal on their wedding night!
Kevin: Oh! It's small, but I can still feel it!
Robin: ... said Lily on their wedding night!
Marshall: Don't laugh, Lily!
All: ...said Marshal on their wedding night!

Why get up in the morning if you don't believe in elves and Bigfoot?!

- Dude, this is the oldest profession. I'm willing to bet that even the Cro-Magnons had cave prostitutes, something along the lines of "fish for sex. "
- Well, with such layouts, it turns out that the oldest profession is a fisherman.

I earn minus three hundred dollars a week.

Everything here is so dark and sloppy, and everything seems to be very illegal. It's like being in Barney's head.

- I stabbed Lily. I stabbed my fiancee with my sword.
“Come on, Marshall, do you really think you still have a fiancée?”

- Marshall ran away because of a cockroach.
- It was a rat!
“Oh yes, sorry, my fault. You are a man, of course!

— And the winners of this year's costume contest are... Lily Aldrin the parrot and Marshall Eriksen the gay pirate.
- Oh yeah! Wait, what did he say? Gay pirate? Where did he get it?!
“Dude, your eyes are made up.
“Okay, I just want everyone to know that I'm not a gay pirate. This is an erroneous opinion. I have always had sex with my parrot.

— Lily, don't you think it's a little selfish not to admit that there is something bigger than us? Something beautiful and powerful to which we must bow our heads?
- God?
- Werewolves.

— Darling, we'd better take our time... because it seems to me that pregnancy influences your decisions.
— No, no, Marshal, we must not miss this opportunity! Just because a mushroom is growing in me now...
- Fruit.
—... Doesn't mean that my mental peoples...
- Mental capacity.
“…Became umbilical!”
“I... I have no idea.

Oh, those mothers, right? Moms always worry about trifles. I came out of a coma within a week.

- Ted said that before the accident, his whole life flashed before his eyes. Well, you know, everything that was dear to him. Was it with you too?
- Oh, well, he must have seen buffers!
- And duct tape.
- And money.
- And a suit!
— A costume made of money!
“Buffer suit!”
“A giant tit wearing a money suit!”
- A tit that produces scotch!
— Well, yes, practically...

So, I'm going to work. I, you know, need to clear the table of unnecessary pieces of paper. For a pile of the same unnecessary pieces of paper. But it's worth it, isn't it? Because I make this world... the same.

- Our postman hates me since I asked when the baby would arrive.
- Wasn't she pregnant?
No, he wasn't pregnant at all.

- It had the features of a rat and a cockroach. And it was about the size of a potato.
“Oh, so it was a rat-carthoracan.
“Don't make that word ridiculous-sounding. This is a rat.

— Marshall, what about environmental concerns?
- I spun it on a stump! Here is my reference!

— How can I explain this to you... Last night I ate the best cake of my life. And now you think I'm going to let this cake out of my life? Anyway, I'm going to find the bakery that made this cake and I'll get another piece of this cake.
You really fell for this cake, right?
- He's following me.

- You always put too much water in your oatmeal.
- And so that they drown, bitches!

Ted, the only people in the universe who haven't watched Star Wars are the Star Wars characters themselves, and that's because they live there!

— Marshall, your mom asked me to bring you these sandwiches because she tripped over your cars and sprained her ankle.
“Mr. truck, okay?”

By the fifth grade I had grown to meter ninety-five and suddenly stopped!

Lily: Dancer's thigh! Marshall has something called a dancer's hip!
Marshall: Well, that's what they call it, because this injury is common in ballet dancers... Oh, hedgehog...
Robin: Did the other little girls in your class also get dancer's hips?
Marshall: Well, of course, yes...
Ted: And I have a more, you know, technical question: is it easier to dance when you don't have external genitalia?
Marshall: Great, don't be embarrassed, joke all you want, mate.
Lily: Come on guys, Marshall's injury isn't from dancing.
Marshall: Thank you, Lily.
Lily: Apparently, he dislocated his hip when he climbed into the gynecologist's chair during his last visit.
Barney: I don't want to interrupt you guys before Marshall bursts into tears...

- What happened to "we grow up, relationships grow with us"?
“Well, that's what Lily read in modern psychology. Okay, she read it in Cosmo. Okay, I read this in Cosmo. Okay, that was Cosmo girl, okay? Just drive the car and that's it!

— You know what, Doug, I'd love to cry, and you know why? Because that's what adults do, they pay for drinks and don't get into fights. You know what I was doing when you were acting like children, now I'll tell you.
- Did you paint your nails?
— No, I...
- Did you pass the relationship test in the next issue of Cosmo?
— No, I...
Tried not to cry when Mr. Big returned to Carrie at the end of Sex and the City?
So, no spoilers, I haven't watched it yet! I will now tell you what I did, I...
“Waiting for the captain of the football team because he gave you a ring and you look so pretty in your prom dress with a cut-out back?”

Being together is hard. To agree, to sacrifice something is all very hard, but if you are with the right person, then it's easy ... Looking at this girl, I know that she is everything that you want from life, which should be the simplest thing in world, but if it's not, then it's not the right girl.

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