How do lap dances work
Lapdance - Lapdancer reveals stripping secrets
Interested in getting a lapdance? We spoke to lapdance and stripper Ruby Winchester, who worked in a strip club in the US for four years. Here, Ruby reveals lapdance secrets and strip club confessions.
1. How did you come to lapdance at a strip club?
"I’ve been a dancer forever but when I was 18, I blew my right knee out which pretty much ended any professional career I'd ever have. Later on, I had my own dance studio but closed it down to move back home. There was no dance studio that would hire me, because they thought I was going to take their students. My best friend was like, 'Hey come on, we’re going to go to the pole studio,’ and I was like, ‘no we’re not’. We went and from day one I was hooked. Then my husband and I got into a position where we needed extra money and the pole studio was in the exact same parking lot as the strip club, so we thought 'why not?'"
2.What are the hours like?
"Brutal. The club I worked at had a day shift and a night shift. For the night shift, I would get there between 6.30pm and 7pm and work until 3am. We had to work at least four days a week. If you didn’t, you had to pay a fee to come back and dance."
3. What is a normal shift like at a strip club?
"I would try and have my hair done so when I got there, all I had to do was put my make up on – you want to look nice when you’re on the floor. I'd change out of my regular street clothes... you don’t want to walk into the club in a thong, get my heels on and then check in with the DJ.
"There were two poles on the main stage, and it would start off with one girl on each – you’d go from pole one to pole two, then go into this little tiny area where the bar was and you’d do your third set there. The girls were on rotation."
4. How does the whole private dance / lapdance thing work?
"Lap dances are where the big money is. They’re not cheap (around £20 per song), so you’d come down off the stage and walk around, I called it doing the rounds. I'd walk around the club, talk to a guy, flirt, initiate conversation so he'd want a private dance.
"Your stripper personality is not the same as your regular personality, and you'd always have to have that turned on. You’re flirty, it doesn’t matter if you’re married, you appear single otherwise you’re not going to get anything. You are their fantasy – you can normally get a feel for what they’re into as you’re talking to them. ‘I like women who are more dominant,' they might say, and then you turn it on... you become that."
5. What does a private lapdance involve?
"I always got my money upfront and I would do one lap dance for £20 or three lap dances for £45. We’d take them to the VIP room, it was really nice and kind of dark, there were couches. Mood lighting. You give them the lap dance and no sex is involved. The club I worked at, this was an open area and behind me across the room would be another girl giving a lap dance.
My signature move was that I’d flip upside down
"My signature move was that I’d flip upside down. I would always take my shoes off, walking around in 7 and a half inch platform stilettos for eight hours was horrible. As soon as we got back there, I’d take them off. I would open his legs up, put my hands down on the floor and do a handstand and up onto his lap".
6. Would you be naked on stage?
"I have a very large chest, like a DD. So I would stay covered so guys would want to see what was beneath. I'd go topless on stage if it was a slower night and there weren’t many people in the club. But that’s how I made most of my money – by not going topless on stage and only during lap dances.
"In America, it depends what state you're in as to whether you can be fully nude."
7. How much did you make per night?
"They don’t pay you hourly and you only work for tips. The kicker is you’re considered an independent contractor, so you’re renting your time on stage. The club has a fee you have to pay at the end of every night. That can range from £10 to £450 a night. And don’t forget to tip the DJ because if you don’t, you’re going to wind up dancing to an 8 minute song about ham sandwiches.
"I would make more than the other girls, not because I was better than them. I’m curvy and a size 14/16. The other girls were size zero. I would bring in anywhere between £300-£380 a night. Most of it was lap dance money."
8. What were the customers like?
"There was always a good mix of guys – the military guys and run of the mill dudes, you know, the guys that work construction. There was always that one creepy guy though, that nobody wanted to deal with. You could literally see us trying to avoid him.
"They’re the ones who always want to be touchy (if they touched us they'd be thrown out), who want your personal number, the ones who ask what you’re doing after work. I am going to McDonalds and getting me a hash brown, that’s what I’m doing. "
9. Did you ever felt uncomfortable or unsafe?
"I never felt unsafe. But there were times where I would get uncomfortable. My first night, I was terrified. I was so scared I was shaking in my platforms. But my release is performing, so when I was up on the stage, I was golden."
Image SourceGetty Images
10. Did the customers ever get physical with you?
"We absolutely had people trying to grab us and overstep the mark. My dad is a retired police officer, so growing up I was taught self defence. Once, this guy tried something, and he wound up on the floor with my heel on his neck. I was daring him to move, and the DJ was calling me to the stage because it was my set. The security officer walked in and was like, ‘are you ok?’ and I was like ‘I’m not the one you need to be asking.’
" I always am aware I may need to protect myself"
"The rape culture is nuts. I always am aware I may need to protect myself, because according to most people, women who wear short shorts are asking for it. Strippers are wearing less than that, but we’re not asking for it. All women should have their guard up around men regardless of the situation."
11. What do most people get wrong about lapdance and strip clubs?
"Most women whose boyfriends go to a strip club freak out because they think they're being cheating on. But nothing is going in an orifice, and for most of the guys, you are essentially their therapist in a thong. They talk about what’s going on in their lives and what’s happening at home."
12. Are there any customers that stick in your mind?
"There was a guy who was about 70 who used to come in, he was so cute and we all wondered why he was in an establishment like this. He would get lap dances from us, but we wouldn’t actually dance for him. His wife had passed away so all he wanted was communication. The first time he got me, I wanted to cry but couldn’t because I couldn’t mess up my eyeliner. I just wanted to hug him."
13.Did you feel good when you were on stage?
"Oh it made me feel sexy and my confidence level went through the roof. Money is flying because you’re confident and you exude that. The more confident you seem, the more money you get. Before, I was very shy."
14. Were there any downsides to the job?
"The drama. You don’t want to try and get caught up in the drama, because it’s a bunch of girls. There’s always, ‘oh well she’s taking my customer’. I watched one girl drag another through a dressing room. She broke out the pepper spray and we all got sprayed in the face trying to get her off. I had to go out there all swollen.
"Don't get caught up in the drama"
"You have no idea of the size of the blisters on your feet after being in those heels for so long. The next day you can barely walk."
15. Does your husband support your work?
"He came in once and he sat there at the bar with a beer. As soon as I was done with the set - obviously no one knew he was my husband - I walked up to him like he was a regular guy and went and gave him a lap dance. He gave me the money and was then like, ‘we’re getting dinner with this when you’re done’.
"One night, I came home exhausted, changed clothes, and we went and got food. When we got back home I was about to get in the shower and my husband is bursting out laughing. He’s like, ‘honey you’ve got dollar bills stuck to your butt’. He pays the light bill and says ‘I paid the bills with ass money’."
16. Do some people consider stripping to be sex work?
"Some people do, but we are not sex workers (not that there is anything wrong with sex work). We do not want your man. We might think he’s cute and might flirt with him, but that’s because we want his money."
17. There’s a misconception that most women are there because they have no choice, was that the case at all?
"I don’t think so. .. you can always get a retail job. I have a stripper friend and she’s an ex college professor and has a PHD. She does it because she loves it and wants other females to feel that empowerment and embrace their sexuality. Women should really take control of who they are. To me, dancing is a feminist act."
Looking for your next favourite podcast? Listen to Cosmopolitan's sex and relationship podcast All The Way With... on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Acast and all the usual podcast apps.
What Does a Private Dance Involve? — bohemian writings
Hi bohemians! I’m back on the blog today – it’s been hard because of COVID-19 to get any balance between my day job, taking care of my daughter and finding any time to do the things to get through the week, ya know!
ANYWAY… today’s post is kind of piggy-backing off of another post about qualifications for stripping. Now I know with people losing their jobs and others put on leave who knows what the future holds. But the clubs will open again and maybe you might be looking for a new job! Some of the clubs in Texas have been working hard installing new carpet, getting new chairs and doing everything to be compliant with opening ASAP. That being said, I’m sure a lot of you read the other post and were like:
“Ok, I meet all of the qualifications but what do like I actually have to do?”
“Do I have to grind on strangers?”
“What is a private dance?”
YiKes! I know it’s hard to really picture it right now but I am going to try and explain some of these age-old questions for those looking to get into the industry as soon as COVID-19 is over.
This is quick post, I’m writing whilst my child finishes a movie so it’s a race against time people
1. A private dance is one that you will give to a client or patron of the club. It is typically done on their lap in some secluded area of the club.
A lap dance is just a dance on a client’s lap. Sometimes there are some pretty impressive acrobatics involved but usually it’s a dance on their lap for ONE SONG ONLY. During the lap dance you will get topless (at minimum) or full nude (maximum) depending on what kind of club you work at or what the rules are where you are dancing.
A private dance is actually not much different but it is obviously more private. Now this might scare (or encourage) some newbie dancers but really the one thing you must remember: CHARGE MORE FOR PRIVATE DANCES. Whether you decide to take it all off or just barely grind on them. Charge more.
What you decide to do in a private dance really depends. How private is it? Clubs usually have varying levels of VIP. I knew that some clubs behind the velvet ropes and black curtains (ahem) there were higher expectations for private dancing. But in some of the more relaxed and open areas of VIP you can decide what you’d like to do (unless the club has rules).
Private dances when you get down to it, just taking your clothes off in a seductive way for multiple songs in a row. You should expect to do this. Selling private dances is where you will make most of your money. Charging more for them or charging by the hour and just doing a few will really increase your income. It’s also a way to get more intimate with your client.
For example, maybe they are old and like it slow. Maybe they are young and annoying and you should spend as little as time as possible on their lap or stand far away when dancing. Maybe they are respectful, married men whom it’s fun to tease. You never know but you can find out during a private dance.
In simple words: yes, a private dance is grinding on strangers. There I said it. But with the examples I gave above you can see that there are many variations of this. For me, if I stayed out of the “back room with the velvet ropes” I also stayed out of trouble. I’m not opposed to girls doing extras – get your hustle baby! That just wasn’t for me. And many newbies or those interested in the industry may think you have to do extras during a private dance. I’m here to tell you – you absolutely DO NOT. You do not have to do anything you don’t want to.
Unlike what the movies portray, the mangers of the clubs don’t care what your boundaries are (for the most part - just don’t do anything illegal). They do not tell you who to dance for, or what to do during a dance (if they do, this is a big red flag and find a new club). Private dances are meant to be private. You can pick what you do with your client.
During a private dance, you can take off all your clothes or you can sit there and talk. You can pick what you do depending on the client. Private dances are just lap dances done in a secluded area of the club. That’s it.
If a client wanted me to do more, I would say “HA yeah right” and find another lap to sit on. You should never demoralize yourself because you want to make money. There are so many laps with a lot more money who expect less. If you don’t want to “do more” during a private dance then don’t. There is also probably another girl who will (not hating).
You should find the client that you match with so that you never feel uncomfortable and everyone has a good time! I mean that is what you are really selling – a good time and that definition varies for a lot of people. Don’t let private dancing intimidate you and also don’t look to the movies for a clear illustration of this (cough Hustlers, cough Showgirls). You do not have to do any extras, drugs and for god sakes the guy absolutely DOES NOT need to cum in his pants – GROSS.
I don’t want to leave you with that image so I will leave you with this: Don’t let private dancing be a thing you avoid or a reason not to get into the club and get your hustle on. I knew plenty of girls who only danced on the floor and made plenty of money. I know girls who only did privates. I mixed it up and didn’t really care because I set boundaries with myself and my clients. So I never felt like I was selling myself short (no pun intended J) .
Hope this clarifies what a private dance is, as soon as this COVID thing is over I’m sure you’ll all be giving them in no time!
Love and glitter – BW
Questions about striptease - The Perch street clubs in Moscow
What is a lap dance in a club?
Lap dance is a service provided by the artist (dancer) of the club, waiter or bartender. This service lasts 5 minutes. During promotions and promotions, the duration of the dance changes.
During a private dance, the girl is completely naked, she dances only for you. The dance happens with you in contact. The purpose of a private dance is aesthetic pleasure or getting a state of excitement.
Sexual contact, masturbation, exposing one's penis, touching the girl's genitals are not allowed. Any other contact is possible only by mutual agreement.
If the guest does not comply with the rules of the private dance, it will be completed and must be paid at its cost.
What is a promo or promotion?
Promotions are promotions for private dances. In our striptease club you can get them in different versions. The most popular is 2 private dances for the price of one. You pay for 1 melody, the second one you get as a gift. Each subsequent melody after the promotion will go at its full cost.
What is the trick in a strip club?
The chip is the local currency of the club, which you can exchange at any convenient time during your visit. Chips are used to pay for private dances or other crazy menu items. When buying 10 club chips at once, you get 2 chips as a gift.
What are gatherings?
During the work of a strip club, each artist must perform on its stage, dance private dances for guests who invite her and participate in the show program of the club. If you have a desire for the girl to spend time only with you, then you can use the service - gatherings (there are various options in the crazy menu section). When acquiring this position, a gathering for an hour, the girl will be with you all this time, and you will also receive 2 private dances as a gift.
I am 18 years old, will the club let me in?
Yes, they will let you through. Take your passport or driver's license.
Visiting an institution of an erotic nature is possible for persons who have reached the age of 18.
What kind of music is played in the club?
Musical styles and trends are quite diverse, mainly modern music, commercial, commercial pop-music, Euro-pop, R&B, remixes of various compositions.
How much money to take to a striptease bar?
You can get acquainted with the price category of positions provided by the strip club on the website, in the menu section.
All prices are real, you do not need to pay extra on arrival at the club. Tipping is at your discretion. Girls communicate with you absolutely free of charge. There is no consummation in the club for food and drinks that you treat girls to.
About the strip club
- Rules of the club
- Questions and answers
- Crazy menu
- Kitchen menu
- Bar menu
- Wine list
- Photo reports
- Bar shares
- Bachelor party
- Consent to the processing of personal data
What is a lap dance? · Rest in Moscow · Directory of Russian Organizations
Private dance is a striptease in a separate room specially designated for this. It is also possible to receive this service while in the hall. Rk., Egoist offers adult-only entertainment.
Lap dance is a striptease in a separate room specially reserved for this purpose. It is also possible to receive this service while in the hall.
Lap dance has many variations, for example, the client is sitting in a chair and the girl is dancing next to the man. The lap dance options are limited only by the client's imagination and the rules of the establishment (girls on the table, in bed, etc. In many strip clubs, lap dance is a striptease next to the client's table.
If you want to admire half-naked sexy girls, then you you should look for the best striptease club in Moscow, and this is of course Egoist http://egostrip.ru/ - only there you will not be disappointed?0005
For men, it is a great pleasure to enjoy a night in a strip club where you can see the sexy dance moves of the dancers. Night can be better if you keep the following things in mind. Follow the tips below and you will be guaranteed a great night of entertainment.
Feel free to ask the rules of the strip clubs
If you visit a strip club for the first time, it may happen that you do not know the rules of this place, and therefore you feel uncomfortable there. Feel free to ask the rules to avoid confusion. If you pay for any entertainment service at the Egoist strip club in Moscow or hire any dancer for a private dance, be sure to clarify what you expect from them and what they will provide you. Different clubs have different rules, so make sure you understand them correctly.
Say "No" clearly
If a dancer comes to you and asks if you want a private session or not, there is no need to give excuses such as "I'm married", "I'm here for a drink" or any other . You can just say "no thanks" and they'll readily accept your answer and won't come near you again.
Ask for prices first
In any strip club, you must first ask the price before using the service. If you invite a dancer to a lap dance, ask her how much money she will take. It is advisable to ask the price first and then use the service, otherwise it could happen that you enjoyed the private dance session and then when she said the price you felt it was too high and this could lead to an argument between you and the dancer - instead pleasure you will be disappointed. So if you ask the price first, you might even get a discount.
Thus, the strip club Egoist in Moscow has become the center of attention for men who want to celebrate a special occasion, celebrate a party or just enjoy life. That is why strip clubs are becoming popular among men and provide everything that guarantees a wonderful experience for their guests.
Egoist is the best striptease club in Moscow. Professional dancers will offer dancing for enjoyment on the pole and private dancing. Or, if you are looking for special VIP areas for your bachelor party or private parties, this is the place for you.