Teach me how to give a lap dance
How To Give A Lap Dance That Will Drive Your Man Crazy | Pleasure Mechanics
If you've ever fantasized about mesmerizing your man with a slow striptease before sex, rest assured you're not alone.
Wanting to tap into your inner diva and mastering the art of seduction to sexy music is totally natural (not to mention incredibly sexy).
Foreplay is not only just a fun part of initiating sex, but it can actually be an incredible time to bond you to your partner — and what better way than by turning your man on by learning how to give a lap dance with the sexiest movements your hips can offer?
Men enjoy lap dances — but there’s more to it than just watching as you gyrate and dance. It can also be an incredibly freeing moment for you as well, and make you feel sexy and confident before you even touch each other.
But lap dances can also seem a bit intimidating, and that’s okay!
Those of us who aren’t skilled in dancing or have never given a lap dance before might not know where to start. But once you’ve got a good place to begin, you can have an incredible amount of fun learning how to lap dance and showing off your best moves.
RELATED: 5 Tried-And-True Foreplay Tips To Tease And Tempt Him
If you want to get your man hot and bothered as a special occasion or even as a new form of foreplay before things really take off in the bedroom, then lap dances can be an intimately fun way to initiate sex.
We know a thing or two about how couples can improve their sex lives and become better lovers, and sharing something as passionate as a lap dance can certainly make for an interesting evening together.
Lap dances should last as long as you want them to, depending on your level of comfort, your playlist, and the overall mood. While the cost of a lap dance typically varies at certain venues, it's totally cool to give your boyfriend a lap dance. (And if you want to charge him, that's up to you.)
One of the most common questions you might have before you start is: “How can I give my man the best lap dance of his life without seeming like an amateur?” And if you’d like to know the answer to that, keep reading!
How to Give a Lap Dance Like a Total Pro
1.Treat the lap dance like it's a (sexy) special occasion.
Lap dancing isn't an everyday activity, but a seductive gift you can offer your man for special occasions.
These days, people automatically assume that erotic dance is only for strip clubs and music videos, but it's so much more than that.
Imagine your lover being completely spellbound by your every move, quivering with desire, ready to follow your every command. Learn to lap dance, and you'll gain tremendous erotic power and confidence.
2. Practice your lap dance moves.
Long before you give your man a lap dance, start dancing for your own pleasure. Find a few songs that you think are sexy and seductive and then practice dancing to them, enjoying the way the moves feel in your body.
Ditch the mirror and don't worry about what looks sexy. Focus on what feels sexy to you.
One of our golden rules is "get out of your head, get into your hips!" Women spend too much energy worrying about how they look, what their lover is thinking and if they are performing adequately enough.
Take all of that energy and focus on how you feel. Bring the focus of your attention down into your body and notice the sensations of pleasurable movement.
Start with your hips. Place your hands on your hips and sway your hips left and right. Notice how your whole body curves in response. Then thrust your hips forward and notice how your spine arches. All of these bends and curves are crazy sexy.
Have a little extra flesh? Use it to your advantage and accentuate your curves as you bend and sway with the music.
Firmly put your hands on the arms of the chair. Sway your hips from side to side.
Next, find a song that you love dancing to. You can choose a fast, booty-thumping song that makes you feel feisty and alive. Or you may prefer a sensual dance to a slow love song.
Find the songs that make you feel most alive, most erotically charged and most ready to seduce your lover. Then dance to the song over and over again until you are at ease, moving your hips and swaying to the rhythm.
You don't have to choreograph a whole routine, just find a few good moves that feel sexy to you. The more confidence you have, the more desire you will build in your audience of one!
RELATED: 9 Exotic Dancers Offer Sexy Tips For The Perfect Strip Tease
3. Get your space ready.
When you are ready to give your man a lap dance, take a few moments to prepare the space.
Clear the floor around your most comfortable chair. Imagine your man sitting in the chair, beaming at you with love and appreciation. Make sure you can walk all the way around the chair so you can dance in a 360-degree circle of seduction!
Dim the lights if you can or flood the room with candlelight. You may even want to buy colored light bulbs to create a new atmosphere. It doesn't take much to create the thrill of novelty!
Create an atmosphere that makes you feel sexy, seductive and in the mood to dance. As you prepare the space, start taking long deep breaths and get yourself in the zone.
4. Make sure your body and mind are in the zone.
What you wear for your lap-dancing performance is totally up to you.
You can go all out and dress up in your finest dress and high heels, go out on a date and give your lover a lap dance as dessert. Or you can hide gorgeous lingerie under casual clothes and surprise him on Sunday morning.
Make it your own. After all, a lap dance is an authentic expression of your sexuality!
You'll be getting very close and intimate with your lover, so take the time to take a long shower or bath and anoint yourself with a scent you love.
You'll feel more confident and relaxed if you take a few moments to tend to your body before you present yourself to your lover.
Set aside all worries about mundane life. Ditch your to-do lists. Mindfully step into the role of seductress.
Your only job for the next stretch of time is to feel so good in your body that you cast a spell, seducing your lover into your pleasure zone.
As much as you are giving a gift to your lover, you are also giving yourself the gift of a time to feel sexy, fully alive and sensually awake.5. Build up the anticipation — it will drive him wild!
Don't tell your man what he has in store for him, but hint that you have something special to offer him. Let him wonder what's coming next.
Start your lap dance in whatever style you prefer. You can put the music on and strut your stuff.
Or just turn away, look over your shoulder as the song begins, wink at him and start to move. Whatever you do, commit fully.
Trust us, he is not going to evaluate your dance moves. He'll get excited at the opportunity to take in all of your beauty and will love the confidence in your body.
Don't worry about getting every move right and just let yourself have fun with it. Your own pleasure is the secret sauce that will make your lap dance the most memorable of his life.
So own your power, move for your own pleasure, and know that you are giving him the profound gift of watching your gorgeous body dance!
6.Ladies, strip tease it out.
Start far away from him, and time your approach with the song so the last few moves are right on his lap.
As you gain confidence, you can even create a playlist for a multi-song seduction, starting slow and working up to serious grinding on his lap. But to start, pick one sexy song and know that you have three to five minutes to give it your all.
From far away, make eye contact with him and slowly start moving into your dance. Then peel away one item of clothing at a time — or leave it all on! You can even combine striptease and lap dancing, and he will love it, no matter how nervous you are.
If it makes you feel more confident, leave all your clothes on and leave the undressing for later. Or strip down just to your lingerie. This is your expression, so do what makes you feel best.
As you move, slowly approach him and then back away. Then move around behind him, lightly stroking his hair and shoulders. Let him feel your breasts and hair graze the nape of his neck.
Then circle back around. Your goal is to tease him as much as possible, making him ache to touch you.
RELATED: I Learned How To Striptease For My Wife To Save My Marriage
7. Keep it simple.
You don't have to go crazy with your lap dance!
Once you have built up anticipation, start dancing closer to him. When you feel ready, let the climax of the lap dance begin.
Turn so you are facing away from him and slowly let your hips sink closer and closer to his lap. Whether he gets fully erect or not, remember that an erection is not a full measure of his arousal. So don't worry about how hard he is.
Here are four simple moves for once you are dancing in his lap:
1. Start by swaying your hips left and right.
This simple move is surprisingly powerful. Add a little dip by bending your knees as you sway.
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2. Lower your hips so they are just barely above his pants and then move your body in circles in time with the music.
3. Try a pelvic tilt by thrusting your hips forward and back.
Give your hips an extra push as you move back to make your booty bounce in a delicious way!
4. The fourth move you can try is a simple bounce squat.
Position yourself squarely above his lap and then squat quickly up and down, bouncing on his lap without ever making full contact. This move is a huge tease and turn-on. Play with speed; start with slow squats and then bring up the tempo until you are bouncing in the air, just above him.
Glance over your shoulder once in a while and make eye contact. He'll want to both look in your eyes and at your beautiful body — the desire to do both will be a delightful form of erotic tease!
8. Remember to finish the lap dance strong.
When you are ready to finish off as the song comes to an end, turn around so you are facing him, straddling one or both of his legs. Then do the same four moves: sway, thrust, circle and bounce.
Facing your lover means that your breasts (covered or not, they will still be a treat) will be at about face level. Use this to your advantage, and as you move your hips around his lap pay attention to all the delicious ways you can tease him.
When the song comes to an end, you have two choices. You can settle right into his lap and then let the charge take you into making out (and whatever other intimate activities you have on your mind!).
Or, you can get up and strut right out of the room, leaving him out of breath and dazzled by your presence. Remember, you are in charge!
9. Give your sexy self a pat on the back.
Choosing to give your lover a lap dance is a very powerful step toward more sexual confidence, in and out of the bedroom.
When you can accept the fact that you are gorgeous and a worthy object of his attention, you start to forget to care about the little imperfections and instead focus on the incredible pleasure your body can feel.
Lap dancing is a gift for both of you. Your lover gets the joy and arousal of watching you dance, and you get all of the pleasure of feeling like a powerful seductress.
Remember, start the journey by setting aside time to dance in private and bring your awareness to how much pleasure you can feel just by moving to one of your favorite songs.
Once you feel great and are ready to seduce your lover with a lap dance, follow the steps in this guide and you'll create a potent pleasure spell that is sure to transport you both.
RELATED: 14 Dirty Talk Phrases That Turn Men On
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The Pleasure Mechanics are a team of sex educators and touch experts dedicated to providing people around the world with the tools and strategies they need to experience maximum sexual pleasure. Their books and videos offer time-tested strategies based on human anatomy, psychology and an understanding of the social nature of human sexuality.
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18 Secrets to Give a Sexy Lap Dance & Leave Your Man Wet In His Shorts
Sometimes we need to pull out all the stops to make an impression.Learn how to give a lap dance and your man will certainly be very pleasantly surprised!
Have you ever considered mastering the secrets behind knowing how to give a sexy lap dance? Most of us want to do our very best to please our partners. Of course, we expect them to do the same in return, but we want to feel that we’re doing all we can to make the relationship happy and harmonious.
When it comes to life in the bedroom, that means thinking outside of the box and coming up with a few sizzling moves he’s never seen before. So how about you learn to give a lap dance to your man?
You know he’d love it, and you KNOW you’d look sexy doing it!
Of course, let’s get this truth out – You don’t have to do it because it’s your job to please your partner per see. We indulge in these crazy and hot antics mainly because it makes us happy to see them happy – about anything.
We actually get joy out of doing whatever we can to please them. That’s why we’re always looking for new and interesting ways to spice things up in the bedroom, too. [Read: 20 sexy things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and why they don’t]
Does the idea of learning how to give a lap dance make you embarrassed?
Now, there’s one thing that stops most people from attempting lap dancing. Embarrassment.
We assume that we look stupid, but do you know what? There’s no chance of looking stupid when you’re moving in that slow and sexy way, showing your man the very best of what you’ve got.
He’ll be so taken with how amazing you look that he won’t even consider how you might be cringing on the inside.
Lap dancing doesn’t make you sluttish, it makes you keen to do what you can to please your partner. It’s sexy, it’s sensual, and when done in the right way, it brings seriously explosive results your way!
If you’re super-nervous, have a glass of wine beforehand *only one* or take some deep breaths. Wear the clothes that make you feel great and do some work on the lighting in the room.
This will make sure that it shows you at your very best. By setting the scene to make you comfortable, you’ll be able to focus on your moves without worrying about how you look.
When did the idea of sexy lap dances begin?
When you think of a lap dance, it’s likely your mind is filled with images of a strip club with half-naked women grinding on perverted old businessmen. Right?
Well, it’s likely that lap dances within a relationship could have been around for many years without anyone knowing, because it was in private! [Read: The girl’s guide to strip clubs and female strippers – What happens inside?]
However, lap dancing in a club setting and being paid for it has been around since Medieval times. Women of lower classes would perform for men for a fee. Although prostitution was also linked to these types of establishments, it is where stripping and giving lap dances are most likely to have started.
That doesn’t mean you can’t take the best of it and use it to show your partner a great time!
How to give a lap dance and give him an unforgettable night
Not all of us are magically blessed with the hips of Shakira. Some of us have to work extra hard in order to give a sexy lap dance that doesn’t make us look like an ungraceful fool and risk ruining the hot mood.
[Read: How to strip tease – 19 sexy moves for newbies to undress like a stripper]
There is a lot more strategy involved in a truly sexy lap dance than just being able to wiggle your hips to the thumping beat of a erotic song. If you want to know how to give a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget, you’ll need these tips.
1. Build up the anticipation in his mind
Giving your man a heads up that he’ll be experiencing something fun and sexy that night. It’s the perfect way to initiate his sexual anticipation.
You don’t have to give him an exact itinerary for the night, but sending him naughty clues throughout the day should be enough to pique his curiosity. Even just a snapshot of a lace corner from your outfit would suffice.
2. Set the mood
You can’t give him a sexy lap dance without creating a hot and steamy atmosphere. You have to set the mood so the second he walks in the door he knows he’s in for a wild night.
Keep the lights low, the music at a soft but audible decibel, and leave a single chair in an empty space so he realizes what he’s in for. [Read: How to grind for a guy sexily and discreetly and get him hard in seconds]
3. Choose an outfit that makes you feel amazing
You don’t have to go spend a ton of money on some lingerie that you feel weird and uncomfortable in. You should wear something that not only you feel sexy in, but something that he really loves seeing you in – and out of. You can even wear a sundress if that’s what he really likes!
4. Practice your dominant attitude
A sexy lap dance is all about power, and women hold all of the power during this sex act. So you have to become a dominant, in-charge woman.
Pull him into the house, demand that he takes off his coat, and shove him onto the chair that you’ll be using for the dance. [Read: 17 femdom secrets to be a dominatrix mistress and dominate a man in bed]
5.Before learning how to give a lap dance, work out your rules and set them down
Since you’re now in charge, you get to make all the rules. If you don’t want him to make a peep throughout the whole thing, tell him that.
If you don’t want him to touch you at all, then make sure he knows. And make sure he knows that if he breaks those rules, he’ll have to pay.
This not only makes it fun for you, but he’ll also get riled up even more when he knows he can’t even so much as touch the amazing body that’s grinding all over him and luring him in. [Read: The sexy ways to tease your man and make him want to F you right there!]
6. Relax a little beforehand
If you haven’t ever given him a lap dance before and you’re more than a little nervous, have a drink! Hell, have two and a shot on top of that.
Lap dances can only be successful if you’re relaxed and willing to have a good time. If you fear that your nerves will hinder that, then drink up. You’ll be feeling relaxed and ready to dance in no time!
7.Pick some sexy music that gets your hips wiggling
Add both sexy music, and music that you love dancing to. The goal of this is to ensure that you’re comfortable enough to let go and have fun.
So throw on some mood music that you love, so your dance moves seem genuine and effortless. [Read: The absolute lovemaking playlist guide you need]
8. Start slowly and build up
You should start dancing while you’re still standing a couple of feet away from him. This means he can take in the whole view. Then slowly dance your way toward him with slow and seductive moves.
9. Undress slowly and teasingly
Don’t just rip all of your clothes off at once. The point of a proper lap dance is to slowly remove pieces of clothing in a way that makes him WISH he could rip them off.
To do this, take off an item of clothing every couple of minutes, while never removing your eyes from his.
10. Spend equal amounts of time on and off his lap
This can be confusing since it is called a “lap” dance, but it works. Really great lap dances do a lot of teasing, and you want to make him crave actually having sitting on his lap.
To do this, stand over him with your back to him. Give him some sexy visuals of your backside dancing before leaning back and touching his lap.
Doing things like this will give him equal viewing time and touching time – two things that can work together to create a powerful lap dance he’ll never forget. [Read: 28 hot ways to be sexier for your boyfriend and make him lust for you]
11. Gauge his reaction and change your tactics accordingly
Some men prefer to have the lap dancer facing the other way so they can get a view of their booty. Others prefer to have a woman’s boobs right in their face.
Make sure you’re gauging your man’s reactions and adjusting your body accordingly so he has the most pleasure. [Read: How to ride a man and look sexy doing it]
12. Practice before you go for it
To get more comfortable with your moves and finding the right pace for taking your clothes off, practice when you’re alone. You can even practice in front of a trusted friend and get some of their advice if you’re feeling really anxious about it.
13. Make sure you choose a sturdy chair!
There are many people who have tried giving their boyfriends a sexy lap dance only to end up breaking a chair or falling over in it! So you want to ensure the chair can hold the weight of both of you! [Read: Fun sex games to play with your boyfriend]
14. Don’t push yourself too far – stick with what feels comfortable
Don’t try belly dancing like Shakira if you really don’t have much mobility in your hips. Just do what you can to feel sexy. Don’t go overboard with the music, outfit, or dancing. Simple is always best when it comes to giving a sensual and sexy lap dance.
15. Choose the right lighting
No matter what time of day you’re attempting to learn how to give a lap dance, you need to choose the right lighting.
Candles are perfect because they’re instantly sexy from the get-go. A full-on light could be enough to make you feel self-conscious – it’s harsh and if you feel uncomfortable you’re not going to enjoy it as much.
However, candles and fairy lights give you that half-light that is super-flattering from the start! [Read: 24 sex room ideas to make any room look and feel sexy]
16. Always work the hips
Whilst there are no specific moves to remember when learning how to give a lap dance, it’s normally all in the hips.
By circling your hips, jiggling them up and down, moving them back and forth, and basically doing anything in a slow manner when it comes to this part of your body, you’ll get the trick just right.
The hips are a super-sexy part of the female body. This is probably because they’re directly connected to the butt!
If you want to move your shoulders in line with your hips, a little like a belly dancer, go for it. Yet, usually moving your hips means moving your butt and that’s a good place to start.
17.Cut out the distractions when learning how to give a lap dance
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t choose a time when you’re going to be distracted or when one of you has to be somewhere. Your lap dance doesn’t need to have a time limit on it.
Make sure that he leaves his phone in another room and yours is turned off. If one of you needs to go somewhere, that’s the wrong time and you need to reschedule! The likelihood of your lap dance turning into something else is very high, so bear that in mind. [Read: 16 sex tips for women to make sex so much more exciting]
18. Remember to have fun!
Don’t think so much about your insecurities! Giving a lap dance is supposed to be fun. If you’re having a good time, then it is guaranteed that your lover is going to have an amazing time, too. So relax and just have fun with it!
There are no rules to learning how to give a lap dance
The bottom line is that you can’t do anything wrong when you learn how to give a lap dance. All you need to do is move your body, remove your clothes *or just wiggle in sexy ones if you prefer*, and drive him crazy. The very fact that you’re willing to do this for him is likely to be enough to start with. [Read: How to spice up the bedroom – 22 tips to set the bed on fire]
There are no rules. You don’t have to turn your back to him, you don’t have to face him, you don’t need to follow any guidelines, you just go with what feels good to you.
Watch his reaction and if he looks like he’s excited, push it a little further. He’s not going to be bored, so you don’t have any worries there.
If you want to, practice in the mirror beforehand but know that the very fact you’re willing to wiggle your hips just for him, will be enough to drive him crazy.
[Read: 24 minxy secrets to turn your boyfriend on and leave your man hard and horny]
Giving your man a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget is one of the best ways to get the night moving in the right direction. And these tips on how to give a lap dance the right way will ensure you look amazing, and he’ll remember the night for a long time to come.
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- Well, that's not bad either.
She paused, and I ventured a question:
- Tell me about yourself. You said you left the world because you didn't want to marry Francesco Sforza...
"I didn't say that," she smiled. - But you're right. I didn't want to be the puppet of that soulless, narcissistic scoundrel.
- Was he really cruel?
- Francesco, despite his youth, is an intriguer and scoundrel, which are few. He dreams of power and money, and the marriage between us, which my father agreed to, was to be an important political move. Francesco, like my husband, received land near Parma and Brescia, and in return he undertook simply not to touch the possessions of the Visconti, because his father helped the counts of Toscanelli, enemies of the Sforza. This reconciliation suited everyone ... except me. My tears touched my father, but the world from Sforza was more important for him than the experiences of his daughter. On the appointed day, Francesco Sforza called me his wife. I didn't love him. They said that he was handsome ... Perhaps, but there was no consolation for me in his beauty. He treated me well, was kind and considerate, understanding that our marriage was made against my will. But every time when the evening came, he came to me and spoke about his love ... it was unbearable. And then he lay down on top of me and took his own, invariably looking into my eyes. I was disgusted by what he did to me. I could not give in to his caresses, knowing that he came to me from the dungeons, where he had just cut prisoners with his own hands ... No, he did not do this often. He knows how to kill, but by killing he only creates a reputation for himself - they are afraid of him. A few words are enough for him to make people do what he wants.
- But he didn't hurt you, did he? - I was surprised.
- He was waiting for an heir. I knew that every day his patience would wear thin, and sooner or later he would reveal his true face to me. Not love, but only the expectation of procreation ... I hated him. A week after the wedding, I decided to run away. Returning to his father was pointless and dangerous, and there was nowhere else to go. However, I had one more hope...
- Did you go to Santa Giulia?
- Not immediately, of course. I heard that the abbess of Santa Giulia has died, and the Archbishop of Milan is looking for a worthy replacement for her. The Archbishop supported the Counts of Toscanelli, and I hoped that he would be able to help me. However, in addition to personal hostility to Sforza, something else was required with which I could convince the archbishop. Perhaps there is no better means of persuasion than gold ... so I decided that the price of my freedom must be paid at all costs. I took all my jewels and money, which Francesco kept in his study, and ran away from the castle, secretly taking the fastest horse. My calculation turned out to be correct: the archbishop received me kindly, he not only considered me worthy to take the place of the abbess of Santa Giulia, but also promised to keep the secret of my whereabouts. On the same day I was ordained to the san...
- That's why you live so alone in Santa Giulia! - burst out from me.
- Not because I am hiding, although because of this too. The charter of the order is strict and makes my task easier.
- In prison, the guards called you Baroness...
- They only know that I am from a noble family. But the same can be said about almost any abbess of a convent reporting to an archbishop or pope. Of late, it is true, these appointments have sometimes been given to influential courtesans...
- Do you think you committed a sin by running away from your husband? I asked after a pause.
- Running away from her husband, stealing money, going against the will of her father. This is probably a sin, but for some reason I don’t feel guilty, although every evening I ask God to forgive me. I heard that Francesco was not himself with rage and ordered to find me for a good reward. They didn't find me, so the archbishop kept his word... Now I'm almost happy, in any case, I have something for which it is worth continuing to live. I've found the peace I've been missing... and yet now I feel like I'm losing my peace.
She looked at me carefully and did not answer, only smiled thinly. Did she have any feelings for me, except for carnal desire? Could I have hoped that there was something more than simple kindness in her smile?
- Why are you learning to dance? I asked to hide my embarrassment. "Aren't noble ladies taught music and dance from childhood?"
“I want to master this art to perfection,” she replied. - If you want, I'll ask Giuliano to teach you too.
- That would be great! I blurted out, and she laughed merrily.
- First you need to decide whether it will be useful to you or not.
- Constanta, I want to be able to do the same thing as you.
- Excellent. catch up!
She spurred her horse lightly and sped forward, urging me to follow her. Pressing into the saddle, I kicked my heels into the horse's flanks. A sudden movement almost threw me to the ground; yelling at the top of my voice, I grabbed the horse's mane, trying not to let go of the reins. The horse began to gallop, and soon I caught up with Constanza. Reaching out and deftly grasping the reins, she restrained the animal.
"Damn, it won't take long to get hurt," she said disapprovingly. I straightened my dress and smiled wryly:
- I never had my own horse. And I sit in the saddle for the second time in my life.
- You will learn.
She started the horse again. I silently followed her, lost in my own thoughts. Suddenly she stopped. Raising my head, I saw three strong men standing on the path in front of us. One of them had something like a hefty sickle in his hands, the other two grinned wickedly, playing with knives.
- Little boy, did you steal your bride from the monastery? boomed the fellow with the sickle, trying to take Constanza's horse by the bridle. The animal backed away, obedient to the hand of the mistress, and the robber grabbed only emptiness.
- Is it now illegal to steal brides? asked Constance softly. - I stole it, and now I'm looking for a priest who will marry us.
- Trickster! The guy with the knife chuckled. - You must be a thief.
- Are you by any chance not a priest, since you read sermons to me?
- Maybe so. Come with us, we will marry you nicely ... By the way, I like you much more than your bride, boy. Maybe I would marry you myself...
- What about your vow? Against the temptation of the flesh there is an excellent remedy, and inexpensive, by the way. This is where your knife would come in handy...
The guy's face turned purple, and his friends laughed.
"Good joke, boy," the bandit with the sickle said laughing. "Now get off your horse and give us your wallet." The same goes for the ladies. We will let you walk away unscathed, as long as you stay calm.
"It's very unusual for me to travel on foot," Constance shrugged. “I don’t have any money, so I have nothing to share with you.
The robbers stopped grinning and stepped forward menacingly. Constance casually placed her hand on the hilt of her sword.
- Don't waste my time. I won't joke anymore.
Her voice was firm and determined, lower than usual. She really looked like a young man now. The bandits, apparently, were not in the mood to retreat so easily. A boy and a nun would not be a serious hindrance, and two horses seemed like good prey. The leader put a sickle in front of him.
- Get off nicely, I don't want to hurt you or your girlfriend.
The sword flew out of its scabbard with a dry clang and flashed a bluish lightning in the rays of the sun.
- Come on, be braver.
The robbers were confused for a moment, then the guy with the knife, who was not averse to "marrying" Constanza, rushed forward. An almost imperceptible wave of the hand, a graceful tilt - and the attacker fell to his knees, clutching his pierced throat. Blood spattered from his neck, he wheezed and rolled over on his side, twitching his arms and legs in his death throes. I felt sick and quickly averted my eyes.
Teach me to dance
How cold... It's always so dark and cold here, and the horror cuts through the bones more than the pain, and the pain... well, I almost got used to it for all these days, which I had long lost count of. An unrepentant heretic is a worse accusation than a thief or a murderer. What did you have to do to deserve all this? Just get in the way of a wicked priest?
I startle when something quickly touches my bare leg. Rat! The skin from the ankles is torn off, the exposed flesh attracts vile creatures that scurry through the darkness among the rotten straw and sewage. They get under my clothes, and every time I'm afraid to fall asleep, because there will be no one to drive them away. Two crazy old women, a thin girl, and a gloomy overgrown man in the corner, who, in my memory, did not utter a word - that's all the company that I have to be content with. But they are better than jailers and executioners... On the first day, when they grabbed me and dragged me to prison, three people raped me, casting lots on the queue. I have never been considered a beauty in my village, but here it seems that the attractiveness of a woman does not matter. My parents and younger sister died of the plague, I was left alone and did not expect gifts from life, but it turned out to be too hard, much harder than I was ready to accept . ..
I was praying, but these scoundrels only laughed, offering to comfort me. My torment continued for another three days, until finally they got a new victim: the fair-haired Sophia was thrown into prison on charges of witchcraft. To her misfortune, she turned out to be attractive, and every time I thought with horror how much longer she could stand before death took pity on her. It seems to me that she went crazy from torture and humiliation ... It was ridiculous to assume that this girl could practice witchcraft! I have seen sorceresses, but at least two old witches who sat with me in the cell - their muttering could make anyone shudder. Even the jailers crossed themselves in fear when the old women simply looked at them.
When I was little, my father once took me and my sister to Piacenza, where witches were executed. "Cleansing by fire," that's what they called it. Yes, only it was an ordinary death, they were roasted alive, worse than pigs, because pigs are still slaughtered before roasting. For a long time I still dreamed at night of their white hoodies, twisting and blackening in the fire, their terrible screams, bursting skin on their faces turned to the sky ... These were my first nightmares, and it was they that turned me to God, for the first time making me think about what happens to souls after death. I firmly decided that I would live in such a way as to avoid torment.
There was only one church in our city, which stood in the central square, with a cracked copper bell and an eternally drunk ringer, but the priest, Monsignor Roscoe, was a modest and pious man, besides, he loved children. He told me about God and taught me how to pray, and then gave me a small book of psalms. My father asked him to teach me how to read and write, so by the age of ten I was already literate and could even read some Latin. Monsignor Roscoe praised me and said that if I had been born not in the family of a furrier, but in a palace, then in a few years I would have become the abbess of some monastery. I knew too little about the monks, and it was enough for me that Padre Roscoe allowed me to borrow books from his library from time to time, and it was possible to pray in the church as well as in the abbey.
One day I was taking a book to the Padre and found him, as was often the case, at the altar, deep in thought. He did not turn around at the sound of my steps, and I had to call out to him:
- Monsignor ...
He shuddered and raised his head, and then I saw tears running down his bristly cheeks.
- Laura, my child...
- I brought you a book, - I whispered timidly. I desperately wanted to touch his face to see if he really was crying.
- Yes, leave her here on the bench. If you want, pray with me.
I knelt beside him.
- What are you asking the Lord, padre?
- I have nothing more to ask from Him, little one, except for the strength to pass the tests that He sends. He was silent for a moment, then spoke very softly. - And a pure heart to keep faith in Him...
Later I learned that his wife was killed the day before when she was returning home from her mother. She was a good woman who did no harm to anyone, beautiful and smart, and yet she was killed, taking away a purse with three ducats, which she had with her. Padre Rosco was beside himself with grief, and less than a year later he died, unable to bear the separation from the one he truly loved.
He was replaced by a new priest, Padre Ostellati, who arrived from Rome with the blessing of His Holiness the Pope. He was said to be a learned and energetic man, able to prosper the affairs of the church in our parish. It was difficult for me to judge this, but very soon the padre really began to act. First of all, he obliged all merchants to pay church tax, increased the payment for the sacraments and began to sell absolution, which Monsignor Roscoe had never done before. My father, laughing, said that all the rich would definitely go to heaven, if they were willing to pay, but the poor would have to not sin during their lifetime.
Padre Ostellati was a busy man, and one look at his stern face was enough to understand that he would not bother with a stupid girl, wasting his time teaching her Latin! Coming to church, I prayed, confessed and took communion, as if fulfilling a joyless duty. The Padre constantly spoke about the danger of sin and persistently asked what I would like to repent of. I was twelve years old, I considered myself far from an angel, so I repented of everything that seemed to me unworthy deeds. It seems that my confessions irritated him: once again listening that I had fallen into the sin of gluttony, having eaten a whole bowl of candied nuts, or the sin of envy, looking at my sister’s new shoes, or the sin of pride, thinking that I could read better than my neighbor boys, Padre Ostellati abruptly said that the main virtues of a young girl are modesty, chastity and humility, and sins are atoned for by prayer and repentance. From time to time he asked me if I was guilty of carnal sin, but I did not understand him very well.
Considering myself an ugly girl, I spent a lot of time reading and doing household chores, or simply went out of town to sit alone on the river bank, watching stems and branches lazily floating on the water, or, lying in thick grass, looking at the lungs fluffy clouds in high azure. My parents did not approve of my love of solitude, and my father said that sooner or later someone would take advantage of this, but I grew up a savage. All the efforts of my mother to marry me were unsuccessful: intimacy with a man frightened me, for me this was the sin that Padre Ostellati warned about above all others. Most of the guys in my circle thought I was either too smart or too ugly, so they didn't bother me too much.
Once the son of a potter, my peer, once again laughed at my gait and said that there were people like me on fire. From his words, goosebumps ran down my spine: I knew very well that even one false denunciation is enough for the witch to be in prison, on the rack and at the stake..